Failed IVF: Why IVF Fails & What You Can Do

By on July 27, 2015

When your body says no to in vitro, or an stimulated IUI cycle, you can feel like failure or receive the news as guidance.  A failed IVF, or failed treatments cycle is simply the body asking us to seek an alternate route. If not all the way, at least till you have gathered the provisions you need for the next round of fertility treatments.  

By Julia Indichova.

Failed IVF  and the Power of a Broken Heart

A failed IVF is often a time when the heart is most tender. When, after spending your life’s savings, or using up the allotment of in vitro cycles covered by your insurance, you receive the dreaded call that says: “Sorry, it didn’t work,” you find yourself standing at crossroads.

For many women the best defense against experiencing the pain of a failed IVF is to schedule another round of in vitro before hanging up the phone. Especially when your fertility doctor points out the dangers of your racing biological clock.

The One Secret to Getting Pregnant

But what if experiencing the failure of your last IVF is the key that begins to unlock the mystery of your misconceptions? What if that mystery is a much larger story than:

  1. Age related “poor quality embryo”
  2. “Poor” response to stimulation
  3. Too much “stress”
  4. The need for a more aggressive protocol

What if spending time with your tender broken heart can not only help balance your hormones, but can help you heal every other failure you have yet to heal?

What if taking the time to attend lovingly to that desperate, dejected part of you can reveal the only secret to getting pregnant.

The one you’ve kept hidden from yourself.

You’re not a quitter, are you?

It was Leslie Zarra’s sixth failed in vitro. But she was not a quitter.  When she came to the Fertile Heart workshop, she was a patient of three different fertility specialists, preparing for another round of IVF. This time, she said, with a brand new protocol of fertility drugs.

Her aim was to use the Fertile Heart tools to make it work on the seventh try. But during the seven hours of the workshop it became clear to me, if not yet entirely clear to Leslie, that it was not the faulty combination of fertility drugs that blocked the road to Leslie’s longed for baby.

After some prompting, Leslie decided to take a break from fertility protocols and give Fertile Heart a try. The drugs would always be there if she chose to return. It was not a painless path of healing. But for Leslie, as for me, her path became a road of recovery from lifelong denial.

The Child as Your Healer

Her daughter, Isabella, became her healer. She taught Leslie how to become a better mom to herself.  Part of her knew that without learning how to do that she could never truly become the mother she yearned to be.  Not only did Leslie learn how to detox her body and turn it into a safer first nursery,  she learned how to release and heal the countless painful images linked to her relationship with her parents, and most importantly, to heal her relationship with herself.

A  failed IVF or a canceled in vitro cycle can be the first step of real healing. It doesn’t mean you have to swear off assisted reproduction for the rest of your fertility journey.

But as sages of wisdom traditions tell us: “Nothing opens the gates of heaven as swiftly as a broken heart.” Getting to know ourselves and discovering the true source of our suffering might to many of us feel like walking through heaven’s gates.

For some of us, our broken hearts can also unlock the mystery of our fertility challenge.

Take a look at the Fertility Success Stories video or our testimonial pages for more fertility boosting stories of women who failed IVF, some of them as many as 15 times,   and moved on to healthy spontaneous pregnancies  or in-vitro pregnancies. Let their stories be your fertility drugs.



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