Happy Father’s Day to all FertileHearted Dads!

I’m thinking of Jon, Annabelle’s Dad who  became a father the second time around just this week. Welcome Otis!  (If you need inspiration, you can read that family’s stunning story)

And as I began thinking of all the dads celebrating for the first time after a long, long wait: Tom, Jason, and Josh and– so many brave, tender hearted men I have met who are still on the road–that  little poem walked onto the page.

I bet you can write your own Father’s Day Card from the Not Yet Born Child for the Dad in your life! If you do, would you share it with us?

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The most unpopular teacher during my high school days was an elderly woman, we’ll call her Mrs. Green. Mrs Green taught literature and every couple of weeks she assigned a paper about a poem or short story or about one of her favorite writers. The thing about these essays was that after we handed them in, Mrs Green would read them, give us her feedback and we would have to keep revising and revising them  until  she felt we did the best job we could.  She wasn’t looking for a perfect paper. She was looking for us to discover what we were capable of. She wanted us to experience what it feels like to give an assignment  all you’ve got.

Some of my classmates hated Mrs Green, and there were kids who came up with the wildest schemes to  avoid being in her class. But by the end of the year the most unlikely slackers handed in some pretty spectacular work.  And by graduation time, all of us knew what a gift Mrs Green has given to each of her students, simply because she dared to care more about being a good teacher than about being popular.

I guess we can either receive Life as an annoying old lady that keeps asking us for homework redo’s, or we can choose to see this mystery ride called Human Life , as a seasoned kickass teacher who cares more about –guiding us toward living our greatness; discovering who we could become–than about being popular.

Heres a question:  if you were to receive Life as a–not always popular, but nonetheless a loving and wise teacher giving you some feedback, asking for a few revisions as you  move closer and closer toward completing your preparation for the Mommy assignment, what is one small or large revision she’d beasking for, at this juncture of your journey?  And which Fertile Heart tools could be helpful to you in attending to those revisions?

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How does Orphan Annie become a Mommy?      

You know we really did conceive our inconceivable baby on red sheets. True,  they were red flannel sheets.  Not sure why I didn’t go for satin. But it worked!

As every year, the emails with subject lines, ”Coping with Mother’s Day,”  Infertility and Mother’s Day: Tips for Dealing with Mother’s Day Blues.” are pouring in from all directions.

So as each year, this is my short and sweet Mother’s Day card for all of you awesome Flowingly Fertile Red Satin Mamas chosen for this magnificent assignment, called Infertility. I know, it doesn’t always feel like such a magnificent assignment, but if you care to stop and drop all the way down to the floor of your fertile soul, you’ll hear a quiet little voice letting you know that that exactly what it is!

Whether your children have already materialized in physical form or they’re still cruising in the over world, the umbilical cord of longing is already attached to your heart and that qualifies you for the Mommy Clan.

As for tips, Mother’s Day is a great day to practice being a mom. To yourself. How would you take care of your adored daughter if she was travelling the scenic road to motherhood?

Whatever you do, I hope you ditch the coping and surviving game.  You know I don’t mean you turn your back on  Sadness or Envy or Fear.  When my older daughter Ellena was a little girl, she used to reach out to me when she was tired and cry: ”Carry you me, mommy! ”

If a tearstained little Orphans were to raise her arms toward you asking to be picked up, I bet you’d know exactly what to do! I bet the Ultimate Mama in your very own fertile heart knows just what to give you to sweeten the day! And of course you have a toolbox full of I.B.O.W. tools to reach for if you get stuck. Here is a Mother’s Day gift from me to all of you, a remedy, if you need one, to open the heart and access the tenderness of the Ultimate Mom. I adapted it from page 175 of The Fertile Female.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy! 

Intention:  To separate the essential from the illusory, the wishes of the Orphan from the wishes of the Visionary Mama within you.

Close your eyes, observe your breath for a few seconds, then breathe out three times with a long, slow exhalation.

It’s Mother’s Day. You have been a mom for nine years. As you go to brush your teeth, there, pasted to the mirror is a picture of your daughter, and a note: “Happy Mother’s Day Mommy, I love you!”

Let the breath move through you.

With the next inhalation, breathe in the image of your child and the note and the sweetness of being a mom.

Breathe out once.

Know, sense, and feel that you absolutely, without the slightest doubt, have all the provisions for the journey that can bring the experience evoked by this image into your physical eality. Know, sense, and feel that what you’re yearning for will come through your deepening relationship with yourself, your loved ones, the world around you and the relationship with the child.

The relationship that has begun when you first realized that you wished to be a Mom.

Breathe out and open your eyes.”

Would love to hear about some of the supremely self-indulgent, unreasonably extravagant gifts you’re giving yourself this Sunday!

A resplendent Mother’s Day to all!

Julia

Copyright @2011 Julia Indichova, No part of this post may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the permission in writing from Julia Indichova and Fertile Heart™

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Infertility can certainly FEEL like a CRUEL punishment. The Orphans in us can come up with 10,00 reasons to see it as such.  And if that is the truth you want to live, you’ll find masses of supporters to march to that tune with you. But wouldn’t it make more sense to do a little reality check? Wouldn’t make a whole lot more sense to  TURN IT into the KINDEST of all wake up calls?

Not by silencing the Orphans. We do need to hear both sides of the story.  We want to see and hear them loud and clear so that we can give them for once the love and attention they’re starving for.

What has the Orphan in you been up to lately? What does she say and which Fertile Heart Remedy have you reached for to soothe her pain, help her grow into the Visionary Mama she longs to be?

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The Fertile Heart Approach to Raising Awareness: Aha Moments from the Fertile Heart Community Chat

Our Fertile Heart Free Community Chat last night was a joy to be part of. These are a few aha moments from the two sessions that are just too good not to share, mostly because I suspect they might help clear up the confusion around the idea of a holistic fertility practice.  THANK YOU so much for an energizing evening and feedback!

From Amy in California:

“I wanted to take a moment to thank you for inviting me to join the fertility circle in tonight’s teleconference. I was blessed to hear your message. For me, it was a game changer, because it was the first time I really “got” how holistic the Fertile Heart Ovum birthing practice is. Until now, I had been focused on perfecting the components — on trying to master each one individually, instead of focusing on how they work together to make conception possible (just as you reminded us that we must all work together to birth a more peaceful and fertile world for ourselves and for our descendants).

That way of thinking consistently set me up for failure: whenever I struggled to bring forth a vibrant image, to deconstruct a dream or to eat a perfect meal, I felt frustrated and stuck. That negativity left me believing that I was not a good candidate for the Fertile Heart Ovum practice because I could not succeed at following each component precisely. Now, I finally understand the process is not about perfecting its parts, but about embracing its synergy –despite my imperfect practice, I must continue the practice as a whole. That understanding was an “ah-ha” moment.

That said, I know I have a lot of work ahead of me…I know I will still face challenges in living the practice. And I know there are no guarantees that my body will heal in time or to a point when I will conceive and give birth…But, I will continue to try. And, in the process, I hope to become a better mommy to myself. After listening to you, I now understand that the faith I need to undertake and embrace this journey stems from my continued practice of this whole birthing process, “not the other way around,” as you sagely advise on your Fertile Heart Imagery CD. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to approaching this practice in a way that I had never quite understood, despite my efforts. I have long suspected that hearing you speak “in person” would somehow resonate with me in an incredibly healing way. Tonight, you confirmed my internal wisdom. May God bless you. Thank you for using your gifts to change our lives for the better.”

____________________________________________________________

From Sue in Florida

“Thank you so much for your time and all your kind words!

The session was very useful for me. I appreciate the opportunity to speak, ask and interact with you. Your words were “spot on” You could have been a clairvoyant sage from theHimalayas:)

I believe the orphans in me have influenced me or stopped me from proceeding. Not that I am blaming myself but would certainly appreciate any guidance about how to tackle them. Fear, despair, despondency, feeling of betrayal… plague me and I am in a crossroad now debating if i should abandon this dream and move on to being “childless”

I felt liberated talking to you today!

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 From Donna in Chicago

I just wanted to thank you for opening your heart to us tonight in the  Fertile Heart free community chat. I am glad you were “fired up” because I feel that way too. I am 43 years old with so-called “old eggs:and am labeled as a poor responder,” all negative labels which to not belong to me! As you sted, the female body is only suppose to produce 1-2 eggs per month! I am ticked off that my FR had the gall to insult me! The visionary in me is putting on a pair of combat boots and is ready to fight for my baby. Now I understand that my feelings of guilt, fear and being underserving are my little Orphans crying out for attention.

I love them too as they are a part  of me and need to be comforted. I truly appreciate the insight from your books and the discussion tonight. I will look up the information on the intro workshops and hope to attend them.

Thank you everybody. It really is Fertility Game Changer Time! Let’s ditch the victim game and slip into our Visionary Mama suits!

What gets you fired up, wanting to speak up?

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Fertile Prayers: Boston Bombing, Orphan Rage and Visionary Anger; Parenting for Peace      

Rage, rage if I send you away, you’ll be back another day…That was the chant we sang in our Fertile Heart Visionary Mama teleconference yesterday as we talked about the anger and rage that is rising up for many of us on this scenic road to motherhood. The silenced, raging Orphan that finds a way to act her truth in spite of all our intentions at positive thinkging and affirmations proclaiming our love for ourselves and our neighbors. We talked about the difference between Visionary-rooted anger that moves us toward being our own strongest allies and destructive Orphan-rooted rage.

Then in the evening I heard about the awful devastation of the Boston bombing. Bombs loaded by human hands aimed to maim other humans.

I’m thinking about the Richard family losing one child, the other losing one leg,  Jeff Bauman at 27, losing his legs!!!

Oh, it hurts, it hurts to see what we humans are doing to one another.  I’m hurting and I’m scared and I can’t help but ask: what are these horrific events asking of me; asking of all of us current and future parents? Where are we going to hide our children to shield them from harm?

Are prayers enough? How do we  raise children that will co-create a safer world? How to we  show them a different way of experiencing rage? Teach them to channel it into life-enhancing creations?

Doesn’t it have to begin with stepping into the war zone of our own hearts?  Not that it’s something I always willingly do, but I’m always amazed at how much energy gets freed up, when I finally face that tantrum throwing little girl wailing to be heard.

Which of the I.B.O.W. tools could be helpful with the warring factions in our lives so that we don’t have to act them out with our loved ones or radiate the rage into the cosmic soup?

What are the battles you’ve been waging lately?

How have they found expression in your behaviour?

What is the raging child inside you asking for?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and hear how we can support each other in moving not only toward a more peaceful fertility journey but a more peaceful human adventure.

With love,

Julia

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Congratulations to EricaG, the winner of the Fertile Heart Contemplating Love Contest! Erica received the most replies to her comment and she chose  a private phone consultation with Julia. The Fertile Heart team also chose four additional winners: Lilli,  Libi, Jessica,  who are offered the 5 Session Fertile Heart Visionary Mama Teleconference Series, and Swati invited to the 3 Session Intensive Introduction Series.

A huge, huge thank you to everyone who contributed to making this first Fertile Heart contest a meaningful event. To me, if you engaged with this awesome subject, and gained an insight that has enriched your journey and that, of course, makes you a winner.

Here are just a few of the many wonderful quotes from the contributions we received. Please know that every single one is appreciated:

EricaG:

The Love I have in my heart has grown to include organic farmers, my Breville juicer, the homeless man at the corner that I’ve started to make a weekly brown bag lunch for, for my partner who I see now in a different light thanks to the All of Me, All of You imagery exercise and lastly I LOVE MY ORPHANS! Thank you Ladder of Light for helping my orphans find a new home on a farm outside ofDenverwhere they are doing organic gardening and dancing together all day, everyday.

Lilli:

Being in love to me means seeing someone for what they really are. Seeing in my beloved more than just that person who might be grumpy in the morning—also seeing the amazing human being he is and wants to become. Seeing food in all its beauty, flavor, texture—every bite of it. And seeing myself with open, generous eyes, falling in love with myself—learning to see deeper and deeper into the open book my body wants to become for me.

Libi:

Trying to love others before you can love yourself is like pouring water out of an empty jug, it just won’t work.

Jessica71:

The Ovum practice has taught me that yes, even pain is love. I am learning that pain is a dense, concentrated form of love that pushes me to act, to grow, to change. It is only my resistance to truth that causes pain, which is why surrender has become such an important part of my practice.

Swati:

It is the greatest most sacred gift you can give yourself and anyone. It can save lives, it can end wars and violence, it can bring peace into our lives. It can make the stranger next to you a brother or a sister. It can change the world. It is an eternal gift that Mother Earth has blessed us with.

Amee:

Love is this feeling that your heart is walking around outside of yourself- at least it is for me. I feel this way about children- mine and all of the children out there. It is this unconditional love that allows them to grow, and flourish. If there was more love in this world, we would all grow so much quicker without so much struggle.

Nicola:

I have always thought of myself as a loving person and thought I had an open heart. However, I have realized that there are insecurities inside of me that have always been unsure of love, and despite being told I was loved, I don’t think I have felt the love and let it in.

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A Fertile Heart “Contemplating Love” Contest.

Time to talk love today, play a little game for the pleasure of playing, the reward of insights you might gain, and even a chance to win some goodies.

Valentine’s Day is upon us, window displays with sparkling red hearts, and images of romantic getaways are crowding our field of vision. One of our newly pregnant Fertile Heart Mamas recently posted a quote on our message board: “Love heals everything.” A sweet sentiment indeed!

But what is love?

Is it a feeling that sweeps over you from time to time, enters inexplicably, without knocking, and just as inexplicably vanishes without saying goodbye?

What does it mean to love someone? Whether it’s your stunning significant Other, a friend, or a child born or not-yet-born?

I, as most of you probably do, have an answer or two to the above questions and I bet if we googled “quotes about love,” we’d get millions of posts to choose from.

But what I thought might be not only fun but perhaps even shed some eminently useful light on our baby- journeys, is taking a few minutes to contemplate what it means to you to love someone. How would you define love without quoting anyone but your very own Visionary Mama Self?

Perhaps you can include a word or two about how your definition of love has changed because of your fertility challenge?  Or if your definition has changed as a result of your Fertile Heart Ovum Practice, I’d certainly like to hear about that.

What do you say? To make this a little more interesting, I’m inviting you to post a comment below and reply to each other, or invite your friends to reply to your comment and engage in conversation.

And let’s kick up the game a notch: I’m inviting you to post comments on this juicy subject until the end of February. The person whose comment evokes the most replies will be welcome to one of the following:

• A private consultation with yours truly
• A Teleconference Series, the 3 Session Intensive or Visionary Mamas
• A set  of all of the Fertile Heart CD’s
• A copy of The Fertile Female & Inconceivable
• A copy of our brand new e-book What to Expect from a Fertility Expert, to the ten people who post their comment on the Fertile Heart Facebook page and receive the most ”likes” on their comments 

I have recently raised my fees for private work, but I am also devoting most of my time to facilitating groups and developing new resources, with very little time left for private consultations. So if you think a private consultation might be helpful to you, this is an opportunity to do a little thinking and writing and you got it!

Here are some guidelines, and then let’s talk Love! 

• Your comment should be no longer than 500 words
• No quotes
• If you’ve been playing the Ovum game, an  insight or two on how your Fertile Heart Ovum Practice shifted your understanding of Love.

I do hope you’ll play, this truly is a subject worth contemplating, especially for those of us on the baby making trail.

Game on!

Julia

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