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Fertile Holy Days: On Giving and the Courage to Receive

By on December 1, 2010

 

Mandy's daughter Annabelle, conceived naturally three months into this challenge, with her baby brother Otis, sharing tea time.

Mandy’s daughter Annabelle, conceived naturally three months into this challenge, with her baby brother Otis, sharing tea time.

Stories of miracles should be told and re-told. This is how this Fertile Heart story began three Christmases ago and continues with a picture of these two beautiful children

On December 1st, 2010 I extended the following invitation:

An Invitation to Mandy and the Fertile Heart Gang.

‘Tis the season of giving, tonight is the First Night of Chanukah, Christmas is around the bend, so let’s cook up a little human magic together.

After Monday’s TeleClass, Mandy, a stunning young woman who has been s part of our community for a few months, posted a Thank You note on the Fertile Heart Connections Forum.

This blog post is for you Mandy and for me and for all of us who from time to time can’t help but wonder why our behavior doesn’t reflect our deepest desire.

I woke up this morning remembering your beautiful note, and as I thought about how best to respond to you, an idea came. But first I’m taking the liberty of copying your note here, because there is so much to be learned from your words. Since you posted it in a public place I do hope you don’t mind if I share it here:

Hello Everyone,

I am taking away lots of gifts from tonight’s phone class. It is wonderful to feel the connection that I have, for some reason over the past few weeks, removed myself from. Julia, your words at the beginning were beautiful and just what I needed- “this is a gift that doesn’t always feel like a gift!” No, it doesn’t, but yes it is!

Tonight’s circle has made me check in with myself as to why I seem to be engaged fully in this work, and then slip away from it. I have been doing my imagery work, but not as intently or with as much passion as I have in the past. I have been trying to find a balance between doing the work and “taking a break-” which is where I feel I have been being led recently (By Orphans, perhaps?)

My question for myself, and something I would love support with and need to explore more is this: If a child is what I want more than anything in this world, then why can’t I do these very manageable rituals – eating for nourishment, not drinking wine, imagery work each morning, Body Truth a few times a week) in order to get what I want?

The most reasonable answer I have right now is that my Orphans continue to scream at me: “This work is not going to work!”

Ultimate Mom, I need you!

I think she showed herself tonight in the way that I adjusted my schedule and said no to several other commitments in order to be on the phone circle. I am happy to have realized this, and happy that I have the ability, thanks to Julia, to acknowledge this act as an act of my UM, rather than just me “adjusting my schedule.”

Thank you again, everyone, for a healing evening tonight, focused on many things I felt very connected to. The imagery was extraordinary helpful, especially the “Line of Givers.”

Peace and Healing,
Mandy

Dear Mandy,

You have called out for the Ultimate Mom and I wish I could say: Here I am!

But I’m not the Ultimate Mom, I’m just a flawed humanoid, and my children would be quick to add a very human mom. I do, however, have a bit of a track record as a reasonably competent fertility teacher. So perhaps I could be useful in some small way. Perhaps I can attempt to answer your questions not only through words but through behavior. Because, you see, Mandy, words can go just so far. If I am truly to be of any use to you, I need to give you an opportunity to live your way to the answers.

I have been immensely moved by your presence in the workshop in Woodstock, your passionate, caring responses to the blog posts and the pure heart you seem to bring to everything you do. I feel heard by you, and that makes it easier for me to hear you.

And yes, I do agree with you that I have watched you now for longer than several weeks join our little Fertile Heart campfire, sing and draw strength from the pot of soup we pass around, and then vanish into the woods. And I of course have to let you go, because it’s your beautiful journey not mine and you need to live it your way.

But now here you are calling for the Ultimate Mom, so if you don’t mind, I’ll try to point you in her direction.

I believe it was William Blake who said: “Eternity in the grain of sand.”

If you care to pay attention you will see in the smallest of your actions a reflection of your behavior in every other aspect of your life.

You draw near and then withdraw from your own fertile heart the same way you draw near and then withdraw from the Ultimate Mom. She can’t be there for you because you can’t hear her. And as I see it, you can’t hear her, because it takes enormous courage to receive that kind of Love.

For the Orphan in us opening ourselves up to the Ultimate Mama caliber of Love is more dangerous than running through a minefield. You never know when your foot lands on a landmine and tears you to pieces.

We can sit here, you and I, and analyze your past and the suffering you endured when people close to you, turned their back on you. You know I’m a fan of traditional psychotherapy and if that’s what you feel you need, you can certainly travel that path.

But I also have another idea: I’ve been hanging out in the Ultimate Mom’s neighborhood, and I could do my best to show you around. I’ve been hanging out there not because I’m so brave but because I so often tremble with fear. I find that the minute I let go of her hand, despair sets in like an unliftable cloud.

So, Mandy, I am wondering if you’d be willing to take me up on an offer? Would you have the courage to practice receiving with me, to strengthen your “receiving” muscles, until they’re strong enough for the heavy weight gifts of the Ultimate Mom? It would look something like this:

Be my guest for 5 months of TeleClasses

Be the first person to check in in that class and come in with something you want to work on every time

Receive specific assignments/remedies selected by me, based on what you bring to the class, from the Fertile Heart Imagery CD’s, the first one and second one and from Body Truth. (If you don’t have the second CD, I’ll send you one as a gift)

Every day, post right here under comments: Yes I did it, or Not Today

Once a month you schedule a free one hour private session with me.

Make a public commitment to do this for 5 months.

And, Mandy, I being a human mom, am not an unconditional giver. I tried that role, and I’m not that good playing it anymore. Sp just so we have an even exchange, here is what I ask in return: If after 5 months, you come to a place where this challenge will also FEEL AND CLEARLY BECOME A GIFT in your life, you’ll help us with our peace project.

We’ll then write a blog post together on the Turn It Around Project whatever stage it will be in at that point, and you’ll post a comment once a week about something you did to help me. You do that for 5 months.

And this invitation, except for the free TeleClass, free CD and private session (because I do have to eat and pay for those organic carrots and a roof over my head) is open for everyone who wants to take me on.

What do you say, Mandy? What do you say Fertile Hearters?

215 Responses to “Fertile Holy Days: On Giving and the Courage to Receive”

  1. Openhearted says:

    I would love to be apart of this challenge. I can connect with Mandy’s post in many ways. I will be doing my imagery and body truth religiously and then I will just stop for a few days. The days were I disconnect I feel like I am literally disconnected from everything. I don’t eat the greatest and I feel down. As you said its as if I am so close to my UM that I get scared or my orphans start creeping in reminding me of what may not be possible for me! So I am looking forward to the visionary moms circle starting up and I will continue to work with my imagery and body truth! Currently I am working with ladder of light imagery and rock the baby body truth! I am really trying to release the disconnected orphan!

    Thanks for the post!
    T

  2. Katy G says:

    I keep coming back to this post. I have read it and re-read it since you posted it again Julia. I feel leveled by the sentence “for all of us who from time to time can’t help but wonder why our behavior doesn’t reflect our deepest desire.”
    Hello! I do understand that as I have been there, am there. However I love the 5 month challenge you gave Mandy and the rest of the group. There is something about voicing your difficulties and being able to turn it into action that does bring behavior that reflects our deepest desire.

  3. gal says:

    My little summary of the challenge:

    It was during this five month challenge I allowed my ability to trust to deepen, I learned what faith is and to understand better the power of my own thinking. The greatest gift of this challenge is that I saw how much I didn’t really think it was possible to conceive and lost touch what we were even doing. That was a huge wake up call. It fit perfectly with the work I was doing previous to that on faith and trust. The challenge helped me put my practice in effect. I learned to actually do the work every day and how much it really helps me. I was traveling last weekend and missed a few days (it was not desired but just couldn’t get any private time.) I found myself really struggling earlier this week and the OVUM tools from the “Fertile Female” really did work as if I took medicine. It was amazing and only confirmed how helpful they are to me. Finally, it was during the challenge I started using the “Imagery 2” cd and that contributed greatly to enhancing my practice. I had not been using a cd prior to that and having the cd and hearing Julia’s voice really helped me make the work more effective.

    Thanks for taking part,
    Galina

  4. MM says:

    Hi Ladies,

    I am looking foward to sharing a summary of my experience over the last 5 months. It may take me a few weeks to post it, as I am currently in over my head with responsibilties; although everything will change in a few weeks when I stop working and stop attending school. Freedom is on its way!

    My understanding is that part of our commitment to this challenge is now to focus on helping Julia for the next 5 months, with the same level of commitment and intensity. So I look forward to that! I am not sure if we are supposed to post here what we have done, or just keep in touch with Julia.

    I did become a mother during this 5-month challenge, and i was hoping to share my story before the challenge ended, but I will need more time. I also was eagerly waiting to join the Mama’s circle, but I have a class on Tuesdays and I had an exam the night of the first circle. But I am hoping to connect with the other moms soon! !

    I was on the recent Level 2 circle but was not able to make myself heard. My phone function was on mute but I didn’t realize it.

    I enjoyed being a part of this, so I thank Julia and all of you for making it possible.

  5. Alina says:

    I was shocked when I realized that the last time I posted was April 16! I’m aware that it’s been some time but really had no sense that 2 weeks have gone by. Also, missed the phone circle because I actually thought Level 2 was next week. I’m really annoyed at myself.

    The past 5-7 days, I have not been able to keep a consistent commitment to my daily practice. Mostly because we were working on renovations at our house and the crew arrives before 8am and I become absorbed with all the activity and there isn’t much to a routine in my day. Also, this Saturday I hosted my best friends baby shower at my house and I was so busy with wanting to plan and deliver an amazing shower for her. It turned out so incredibly beautiful.

    I’m happy to read all of your latest posts on this blog as the challenge winds down. There’s a lot I’m reflecting on and somewhat feeling a certain incompleteness about it. Sharmini, your suggestion to write a summary may help me feel some closure because it’s a feeling that so much work has been done and lessons learned but like I’m left hanging, don’t know.

    Most importantly, I want to pick up where I feel the best and that is staying committed to working with the OVUM tools.

    Sharmini, I am really excited to continue hearing about your adoption inquiries. I would have NO idea where to start, it’s like a complete black hole of information that I’m missing. You are awakening the Visionary in me that is curious about the adoption option. Hope to hear more from you!

    P, I’m going to write about my latest menstrual cycle. It was completely different than any I have ever had. Still trying to listen and support myself to know that it’s ok. Also, I’m interested to hear more about your elimination diet and how it’s going.

    Take care girls and good night.

  6. P. says:

    Sharmini,

    I think it is a great idea! In my mind I have often gone through my progresses and tried to count all the blessings I received and I would love to put it in writing.

    The field of creation gave me a little gift (or made me realize of it): now each time I see an obstacle, difficulty or problem I say “I want to work on it” instead of panicking at the thought of the dramatic consequences it might have. Julia once told me that when I am in one of these moments, I have to think like I have very wet socks and need to change them and put on dry, clean ones. I noticed how much I resist doing it, this weekend I visualized taking off one sock at a time, sometimes I had to repeat the whole process. Intensity 9!

    I am also moving forward in several directions, such as my very challenging elimination diet, which has made me realize how much determination is in me. Will talk more about it in my summary!

    Looking forward to tonight too.

    P.

  7. Sharm says:

    Hi Everyone!

    Congrats on keeping to our 5 month commitment!! We did it! I think it would be great if we could each write a little summary in the next couple of weeks on how we think we have grown in the last 5 months? What do you say?

    I am working on the 3 hearts imagery from the phone circle last week and also on the “supporting ovulation” exercise from the 2nd imagery CD. I also did the meditation from the body truth CD once this week. The pain I talked about last week in the phone circle has subsided thankfully! I did get my cycle in 3 weeks so it’s something that I am staying cognizant of..
    We also spoke to an adoption attorney this week and she had a lot of info for us. I am going to be outlining our next steps including time frame to accomplish them in the next week. It’s an exciting time as I feel like I am taking some big steps forward and my DH is with me!
    I have not done much body truth the past week but commit to doing “soul on fire” and “welcome home” before I go to bed tonight.

    Looking forward to connecting tomorrow!
    S

  8. Gal says:

    Hi,

    I have been focused on the guided imagery “Room of Fear” which I then move into the ROom of Possibility. It has been very revealing. Also working with “mirror of truth.” Have been struggling with alot of tension in legs and pelvis really for months now. Started using imagery and body truth to work with it and it is softening. Alot is shifting lately. homeplay is at a 11

    Galina

  9. P. says:

    Hi everyone,

    I am back to my favorite exercise: field of creation. I am working on my fears of being abandoned, shamed and disappointed. Much has been brought to the surface, but this orphan is still there, now she is better understood but there are times like this morning that I do not know where to turn to and the feeling seems all so real. Intensity 8.

    P.

  10. Gal says:

    Hi,

    I as well want to pass on happy holiday greetings. I am enjoying my son’s excitement over the holiday and having family visiting. Lately I have been thinking about trying to conceive again but feeling alot of fear. This morning I melded the guided imagery “Room of Fear” with a second part of a Room of Possibility. I have also started working with an imagery I came up with of taking all the shame and burden I have felt and letting it become a cloak which I can then take off. I am going to work with these the next week or two for as long as there is juice. Since my last post I have been working with the guided imageries “Field of Creation” and “Council of Babies.” It has been a 10.

    Take care,
    Galina

  11. Sharm says:

    So happy that our commitment is continuing and as I read your posts I can see you all getting stronger. Pretty amazing.

    I just completely body truth “welcome home” and I would rate it a 10! For the first time! The feeling that came up was “fear” and it was in my belly. I worked on releasing the feeling through movement and a lot sound. The sound especially felt good.
    I have also been doing the room of fear imagery from the 2nd cd. The last time I did the exercise the door to the room was made of wood and creaky. The room is always very dark and damp. I came face to face with myself alone and abandoned. I also saw a an image of a crib with a baby in it in this room. It helps me to face my fear in the image and I always leave the doors wide open, open the windows and let the sunlight stream in and warm the room.
    Also continuing to work with the field of creation from the 2nd imagery cd. The orphan most vocal on the left side of the field is the one that says I am scared that if I adopt a child, the child will not love me. It’s good to see her. She has been hiding there for a long time.

    Looking forward to connecting with you all on Monday and Happy Easter to those of you celebrating!
    SP

  12. gal says:

    Hi,

    Hope you are all well. My homeplay the last days have been gone back to the guided imagery “Field of Creation” from the Imagery 2 cd. I seem to come back to that as my base – I can check in with my orphan the visionay and the baby I long to meet. I also had fun with the “Council of Babies” guided imagery this week. This morning is the first time I worked with the “Rooms of Possibility” for the really the first time since the circle a few weeks ago. It was a different experience. The one room I have been afraid of was calmer. I have been doing some work since the circle that has helped me move through that into a better place. I did some myofascial release work with a practicioner last week and that has helped me feel more united in my body. This practicioner is very attuned emotionally so it is like a very engaged body truth experience. I rate my homeplay at a 15+ at times and also at an 8. I have been sick with bronchitis and at times have felt just awful and at those times my engagement is more with the orphan who hated being sick and providing her comfort. I am there now.

    take care everybody,
    Galina

  13. MM says:

    I am continuing with Sacred Choices as my guided imagery of choice. I am also doing the Body Truth “Woman”, and am actually incorporating it into the Sacred Choices imagery sometimes.

  14. Sharm says:

    So I have not had a chance to post over the last week as it has been really hectic both with work and my personal life but I have been doing the imagery.
    Currently working on the field of creation from the imagery 2 CD with the orphan who feels that if I adopt a child my child would love me.
    I am also going to be starting the room of fear tonight. I have also been doing some body truth with womb with a view. Would like to continue that..and do more body truth somehow!

    So great that we are keeping this going!
    P that is interesting about not eating before 11am. My acupuncturist actually recommends the opposite. I usually don’t have breakfast until 10.30 or 11 am and I can do that very easily and she saying that I should not wait. I should have some food by 9am. I am also trying to gain some weight..so that is part of it as well. I do start my day with some hot water and lemon every morning followed by some decaf tea (usually green).

    Best
    S

  15. MM says:

    I am continuing to work with Body Truth , “Woman” and guided imagery Sacred Choices. Sticking with Sacred Choices for a lengthy period has made a difference.

  16. MM says:

    it has been a while since I have posted but I have continued with my FH practice. It seem sthat when I commit to “upping” my practice, I tend to actually fall back with it, so I am taking a look at this. I am doing Dreamwork more than anything, with vivid, somewhat intense dreams nightly. I started doing more Body Truth, focusing on Cry for Justice and Woman. I am enjoying Woman a lot, never having actually chosen to engage with that one before.

  17. Alina says:

    Thanks for sharing P! I am completely loving your idea that I don’t have to have solid food until about 11am. Wondering why I have to be so hard on myself sometimes. My typical morning routines these days is warm water with lemon and little bit of molasses. I feel good and just about 10.30-11am I start getting hungry.

    I’ve been working on body truth in the a.m. and decided it was time to kick it up a notch and try Wailing Wall. Just becoming aware that I restrain myself quite a bit and always try keeping things under control. I never really thought I should try Wailing Wall but realizing that some strong feelings are lying deep and it’s time to release. I’ll be honest, it is not easy. I have really suppressed some uncomfortable emotions. Intensity is about 6-7 but I want the intensity to be a 15!

    My other WANT is to do imagery at night and not only in the mornings.

    love, light and peace to all you girls.

  18. P. says:

    Hi Alina,

    When reading your post I thought that perhaps you do not have to find any huge solution for your morning habits. Many people say that you should not eat much until 10-11am, letting the body eliminate all he ingested the previous day. Maybe starting with some warm water with lemon and some raw honey (or young coconut water) could keep you going for a bit/ Adding a bit of ginger will increase appetite for when you are ready to eat. You can also have a protein snack before going to bed, this is what many runners do to be able to run in the morning before breakfast.

    Well done on the iron and feeling good!

    I am working with the room of fears. I go into the room each day but with the promise of giving myself a gift at each try, e.g. turning some part of an overwhelming feeling into a little pearl of wisdom or some learning. I am bribing myself, I know, but it seems working. Still low intensity, around 7. Have not gone back to my peak in a few weeks now.

    P.

  19. Gal says:

    Hi,

    I am still in a place I’m not sure I have ever been. It is truly taking root in me I do have some power in this journey. I have a choice between staying in orphan land or taking responsibility for my life now. Alot is clarifying that I don’t have to have everything fully healed of the loss of my first child to move forward in my life to my next child. All of this is linked together there is a healing in following the longing for the next child – that’s what has kept me on the path on got me here. Also, I have a vision that I can still be caring to myself and have a fulfilling life if I don’t find exactly as hoped. That feels such a relief. For so long it has been difficult to take this step out of orphan land because it feels if I fail there will be a trap door taking me right back and I will have to take all the responsibility for everything that ever happened in my life. Can I really believe this? Using guided imagery from imagery 2 cd -“Field of Creation”, “jailbreak” and “Claiming your inheritance.”

    Hugs all around,
    Galina

  20. Alina says:

    It’s good to be here and continue sharing my practice with all of you. It’s the final stretch of this challenge and I’m giving it my all. The team support throughout the months has kept me committed to posting here on this blog.

    This week I am working on Speak Your Peace, Rock the Baby and Unconditional Gratitude Body Truth. I rate it a 9. Imagery work includes Possibility and White Flower, it feels like a 9.

    Still struggling with my eating habits in the morning (mostly not eating) and I want to find a solution for this. Maybe it’s an orphan that somehow still feels neglected, or maybe it’s just a bad habit, I’m not sure.

    I just found out last week that I don’t have anemia. This is an incredible improvement. The last time I checked was 8 months ago and I have been anemic for at least 2 1/2 years. So I am doing something right and funny enough I have NOT been on iron supplements for 6-7 months.

    Overall, I feel great EVEN THOUGH my period is a week late. I took a home pregnancy test on the missed day and it was negative. I’m not worried or stressed, I just trust that my body is working it out and I’m just letting it be. No desire to have it perfect every month. The big picture is more important to me and my journey continues.

    You girls are awesome and I want you to know that I think about you and your own journeys. When you are feeling down or challenged, I send you my support. When you have a breakthrough, big or small, I cheer you on.

    It used to be a lonely existence but being here with all of you makes a difference.

    xoxo

  21. P. says:

    Hi Girls,

    Did not think for a second the challenge was over! There is more to learn…

    This week was marked by extreme feelings of loneliness. I kicked a lot for bodytruth and started the possibilities exercise. Since I missed the phone circle, I felt this would be a good idea to connect with the group. I need to go slowly, there are many overwhelming feelings I am struggling to digest. I also did the palace of truth and worked on the room of friendship. The images that emerged were linked to recent attempts I made to socialize in my local area, the disappointment that followed and my retrenchment to the safety of the internet. I did not use to be like that…

    That’s where I am right now,

    P.

  22. Kristin from London says:

    Dear Julia

    I will take on this challenge today of excercising my receiving muscles! Since the call two weeks ago, I have received so many messages and images that were buried long ago!

    The song is wonderful!

    As for my imagery “Room of Fear”, the first times, I just saw a dismally gray room with a photo of my Step-mom and then exited to the right with my Ultimate Mom; thinking this was a childhood fear that I can let go of now, as I am adult. My Father passed away just 4 months after the birth of our daughter. The man we competed over is no longer here.
    Last night though, after 2 weeks of thinking there was nothing to this, I realised that she was the one and only female in my family (other than my mother’s cousin) who had challenges conceiving and keeping a pregnancy, I think she was pregnant 10-12 times before successfully delivering my little brother! Perhaps it was my impression of her that gave me worry in my own life and yet there is no logical or genetic link at all!

    I am so happy to have 1 daughter, but we also had her though our first try of IVF with ICSI, as they said my body was like textbook at that time but my husband’s sperm was just not up to the job!

    Perhaps clearing this impression of my StepMom in this room will clear this path for both of us!

    Transport to Truth
    Vehicle is a beautiful white chariot/carriage, like the Queen would ride in. I am also dressed in white. I arrive at a very beautiful meadow with creation blossoming and blue sky – all serene and peaceful nature. Actions: hug a tree and stretch against it, take a deep breath, thank God for abundant blessings, pick a clover to take (reminds me of Irish roots and good luck). Other things to take: trust, peace, faith, belief & love, the Bible.

    In my sleep, I woke a few nights ago with these 3 words

    TRUST…BELIEVE…RECEIVE!

    I added surrender to the start of the 3 words as this is what I am working on each day just now!

    I have amazing people and experiences coming into my life each day, perhaps I am improving my receiving skills, but there is still plenty of room for more improvement!

    Julia, the work you do is amazing and I am so happy I found you! I will be at your workshop in May! Thank you for teh gift of the Ultimate Mom and the visionary to accompnay me as I face my orphans!

  23. Gal says:

    Hi Friends,

    I am so glad we are continuing this blog. I will take up the challenge S and make an effort to post more often. Prior to monday’s phone circle my homeplay was the guided imagery from the “Imagery 2” cd “Fork in the Road” and “Mirror of Truth.” I give it a 9. The phonecircle brought a shift. The “Rooms of Possibility” imagery brought up a lot. I felt alot of different orphans and visionaries during it. I think I need to use that imagery to first explore my thirteenth room and the tragic loss of my first child. I need to explore all the possibilities of my own life and mainly that is is possible I heal from this experience. I think only then I can move onto the possibility of whether I can conceive again and all the ways that could look. I did notice this week a very new feeling that by opening up to the possibilities of the course of healing my life may take, all roads seem possible which gave me a sense of peace. It felt something like a burden lifting that I really didn’t need to know how to “make” everything happen, but just be as fully myself as possible. I am in a mode of receiving so much in the last months.

    Big Hugs all around,
    Galina

  24. Sharm says:

    Hi Team!

    I am working on the Possibilities imagery from the phone circle like many of you and also the choosing life imagery from the 2nd Fertile heart imagery CD.
    All my rooms in the possibility have been one’s I have wanted to hang out in. Lots of sunshine and babies and children in the rooms!

    I need to incorporate some body truth! I did the new fertile heart chant from in the in person circle and I would rate it a 7.5!

    Suzanne, welcome!

    What say everyone who has been on this post since December this being our 5th month we up the stakes and check in more regularly??

    Suzanne has inspired me to do more body truth at least 3 times a week.

    Going out to enjoy some sunshine!
    SP

  25. Alina says:

    That’s awesome Suzanne. Great to see you here!

    I really benefited from this evenings phone circle imagery “Rooms of Possibilities”. My first room was “Welcome Family”, second room was “Faith” and third room was “Gardens”. There was a lot of possibility I could feel in each room. Finally, my “not yet name room” was me standing on a dry and barren Lava flow and I was looking around for shelter and clues to find my baby. When Julia asked us to get we needed to turn this image into something we wanted, I found a cove for shelter and I sat inside and suddenly I was nursing a baby. The only other thing I needed and got was fresh water and natural light to keep us basked in healing energy. It felt so powerful and not an image I am familiar with so it was interesting to see it unfold.

    I wish to continue working with this imagery exercise this week.

  26. Suzanne Lang says:

    I loved doing my body truth today. wailing wall was cathartic! kicking all those people who say the dumbest things. The 5-month pregnant woman I work with who asked me my age and said “maybe that’s part of why you aren’t getting pregnant?” omg, you are a genius! I never thought of that. Anyway, nice to give it a kick. And, am going to do the swirling ball now and put myself to bed. I know i joined this challenge late but i’m on it!

  27. Suzanne Lang says:

    I’m in. Starting today. I did the body truth, wailing wall and defend, receive. I like the wailing wall and can feel in myself this grabby part of me that just wants. And, wondering if that’s ok. ANd, doing it anyway and letting myself go and letting go of the judging. Loving kicking all those who keep telling me the “bad news” or whatever. In defend and receive, felt myself actually feeling best in receive today which is unusual for me. Defend normally feels better. I like receiving from the universe.

    And, did walking towards ball of energy with my future life and family. I had lots of helpers but in the end, my mom actually picked me up and rocked me like a baby and then put me in the ball of energy with my family. It was nice.

    So, here i am. Day one.

  28. MM says:

    Mandy, congratulations! Such fantastic news!

    Thanks for your latest message Alina.

    I have continued with Sacred Choices guided imagery related to food and have been excited about how my decisions and my body have been changing.

    I feel like I need to focus on deepening communication and intimacy with loved ones, so I am going to choose additional imagery from Julia’s imagery 2 CD.

    With a month left of this challenge, I am trying to remind myself of Julia’s question: What would your practice look like on a scale of 1-10 if it were a 20? Because I think I am going to miss being a part of this when its over so I at least want to give it my full effort.

    My second daughter arrived via adoption 6 weeks into this challenge, but my experience is that the guidance, gifts and miracles keep coming with the FH work after the baby arrives.I’m looking forward to being a part of the Mamas circle.

  29. Gal says:

    Thanks Alina. I am very glad to be continuing the challenge as well. I felt some loss thinking it was over and was so glad when I saw Sharmini post. Thanks for starting again S. I have to admit I lost touch with what the challenge was started for. When I saw Mandy had actually done it I felt ashamed that it was such a surprise to me. It has made me really question if I think it is possible for me?

    My homeplay was primarily working with orphans the earlier part of the past weeks. The last days I have delved into the guided imagery on cd 3 of the imagery 2 cd. I feel I am shifting into a new focus. My homeplay I give a 10.

    take care,
    Galina

  30. Alina says:

    Hi Fertile Sisters,
    I just wanted to take a moment to say how much I continue to enjoy this challenge and am grateful for you girls who continue to post about it here. I feel connected to you in a special way and my journey to motherhood is more alive and colorful because of this commitment we embarked on together.

    Mandy, P., Sharmini, Gal, MM, Anna and all, may the final month of this challenge allow us to continue to receive the many gifts presented to us. I have much gratitude for this community of fertile hearts.

    Love and peace,

    Alina

  31. Alina says:

    The past five days I have been working on new imagery and body truth sequences. I had to adapt them to deal with a UTI I got over the weekend. It was so painful and it was helpful to work with Healthy Lining & Fertile Soup. I imagined healing myself with the salve from the tree and for the soup I added ingredients that would help me get rid of the infection. It’s actually been very effective to help me relax and in turn the symptoms feel less intense. I would rate it a 9.

    All around feeling good despite this painful infection. Keep walking towards my baby and I feel that every step I take counts.

  32. P. says:

    Dear All,

    I did not check the message board for a few days, so I only now read the good news. Congratulations, Mandy! I am happy to receive the news and feel very positive about your journey. Keep us posted!

    I have been doing the Cutting the Cord exercise in relation to my family of origin. I came to the conclusion that the cord cannot be fully cut right now. I have child-orphans that still tremble at the memories of what happened in the past, but I also have adult orphans that have to deal with my family’s abnormal behavior and somehow help them in the present. And, like in the past, I suffer for them, for me, for this huge pain that at times seem so big, so wasteful of our human energy, so detrimental. But I cannot cut the cord. I am glad that the practice brought up many emotions I had in the past, even the feeling that I wish so much I could be without a family, that would have been easier, yes, that’s how it feels. But I could not see myself cutting the cord with the golden scissors.

    On the other hand, considering these 4 months into the challenge, I am grateful for my strength and my progresses. I do not have any particular thing to celebrate but I have been steadily reversing several food addictions, exercising more than ever before, practicing and building up good habits of continuity and commitment. And yes, also falling and falling many times.

    I am now approaching my decision to do a more drastic food elimination attempt, something I do for the mind as much as for the body. Something extremely needed and that I know won’t be easy. But I think I am in the right place now to embark on it with the hope that it will help clear many issues that have haunted me.

    Since the challenge began with a reminder to the importance of receiving, I want to receive even more strength and the ability to face whatever I need to face in my journey while remaining thoughtful and caring.

    P.

  33. Sharm says:

    Congrats Mandy!!! Keep us posted on how things are going.

    Far the past week I have been working on “issues in your tissues” imagery and mirror of truth”. I have some orphans show up with regard to my age so I picked mirror of truth which is always a good one for me. I have been going to bed too late so I miss some of the evening imagery when I am too tired.
    I have also noticed that I am more distracted when I am doing the imagery. I have thoughts come up of work or things I have to do etc. It’s good for me to observe that. Does it mean I need to move on to another imagery? Or it is an indication on my life and I need to focus on the task at hand. Issues in your tissues I get the colors of red, yellow and most often blue as healing colors…and the sound lately has been one of content. The feel of the hands of the UM and I usually use mine over my stomach and ovaries is very healing.
    For body truth I did welcome home this weekend and womb with a view last night. It felt like my body had a lot to say with these two sequences. Overall I would rate my week so far 7.

  34. Anna from Wales says:

    Mandy

    It’s such wonderful news to hear of your pregnancy, congratulations and many blessings for the months ahead.

    Warmly
    Anna

  35. Gal says:

    Hi Mandy,

    Congratulations! I am very happy for you and your husband. I find your news absolutely a gift and I am receiving alot while sending you support. I am feeling more hopeful for myself lately and hope to write a post that I have conceived.

    take care,
    Galina

  36. Mandy says:

    Thank you, Alina. Your words and offer of support are so appreciated and felt! I offer the same to you. I am just so grateful that my news can be received as a gift- that is the best.

    As Julia said to me in a recent email (and it made me smile) “take delicious care of yourself.”

    Best,
    Mandy

  37. Alina says:

    Mandy!!! I am so excited and happy for you. I have been secretly wishing that this was the news you were going to share with us because your last post you mentioned it was that time of the month where there is hope and orphans, then we didn’t hear from you for a while. I was really looking forward to hearing from you again. :)

    This is an amazing journey that has presented us so many gifts. Your story is another gift that I can receive and I feel so much joy and gratitude for being a part of this challenge with you.

    I’m here to support you on this next step of your journey. Relish this beautiful time in your life, Mandy!

    love,

    Alina

  38. mandy says:

    Dear Fertile Heart Family,
    I just took a moment to re-read this blog post, Julia’s public challenge to me and you all, to commit whole heartedly to this work. I am here, 3.5 months into this challenge, to share the news that I am 6 weeks pregnant. It feels utterly surreal to both write and speak those words, and I do hope my news is nothing more than a source of hope and strength for you all.
    I am so grateful to Julia for challenging me and believing in me, so grateful to you all for your support and fertile heart sisterhood, and grateful to myself for not giving in to those orphans that were telling me “this work is not going to work!”
    I owe so much to this community of women, and to Julia Indichova, and I look forward to being a continued member of this wonderful group of women, all on their own individual journeys.
    I feel overjoyed, brilliantly happy, and relieved… while also terrified and worried. The tools continue to help me sort out who is responsible for all of these feelings and how to cope with them.
    I hope this post will encourage you all to keep doing what you are doing- knowing that each step you take IS bringing you closer to your child, even though sometimes it feels like one step forward and 3 steps back.
    Wishing you all the very very best in your fertile journeys and hope to be a part of this community to hear all of your happy conception stories.
    In peace,
    Mandy

  39. MM says:

    Continuing with Sacred Choices guided imagery. Am working on way adding body truth daily. This morning did Feel the Longing and also Let it Be. I also added another guided imagery exercisebut I am searching for the title of it. I am also engaging with dream work.

  40. Alina says:

    Hello Ladies,
    It’s great to see that we continue on with this challenge after 3.5 months. Thanks Sharmini for pointing that out! I hadn’t realized how long it’s been.

    Good stuff all around. My practice is the sweetest part of my morning and if I can keep a normal routine in my day it is easy to fit it all in. At night, I’m less consistent and sometimes 1 will re-read a chapter of Fertile Female before I go to bed.

    My practice consists this week of Fertile Soup, Field of Surrender and Life Force Connection guided imagery and Speak Your Peace, Cry for Justice and Follow the Longing(out of the trap) body truth.

    I’m coming out of a few weeks where my orphans where peeking up left and right, and noticing that more Visionary actions are guiding me recently. Plus the soothing hand of my UM is compassionately edging me forward. Feels good.

    I’m ready to order CD 2-Imagery. More growth for sure to come!

  41. MM says:

    I am still working with the Sacred Choices Imagery. I also had the chance to do some body truth lately which has been great. I did the guided meditation on DIsc 1, that takes you from the top ofyour head to your toes. I had no idea how expressive my toes could be!

  42. Sharm says:

    Thank you for sharing ladies. So we are going on 3.5months since we made this commitment in December! Gal thank you for sharing the dream, does sound scary.
    MM – that sounds very promising!
    P- congratulations on identify this orphans.
    Alina – I love the idea of sitting and taking some nice deep breaths to calm down

    I have been working with the supporting ovulation exercise and healing and unblocking fallopian tubes from the 2nd Fertile Heart Imagery CD. For body truth this morning I did Welcome home and Soul on fire from the Fertile hear body truth CD. I would give myself a 9.5!
    My body has been feeling very juicy lately which I have been enjoying! I have also had the panicked aged orphan come up a couple of times..right now I am just noticing her. Another thing that has come up is that I need to be more compassionate with myself.

  43. SP says:

    Thank you for sharing ladies. So we are going on 3.5months since we made this commitment in December! Gal thank you for sharing the dream, does sound scary.
    MM – that sounds very promising!
    P- congratulations on identify this orphans.
    Alina – I love the idea of sitting and taking some nice deep breaths to calm down

    I have been working with the supporting ovulation exercise and healing and unblocking fallopian tubes from the 2nd Fertile Heart Imagery CD. For body truth this morning I did Welcome home and Soul on fire from the Fertile hear body truth CD. I would give myself a 9.5!
    My body has been feeling very juicy lately which I have been enjoying! I have also had the panicked aged orphan come up a couple of times..right now I am just noticing her. Another thing that has come up is that I need to be more compassionate with myself..

  44. MM says:

    I’m continuing with the Sacred Choices imagery, in relation to food choices. Had a very vivid dream that I was 8 months pregnant, and I was sharing with a friend all the reasons this scared me.

  45. Gal says:

    I have continued with the guided imagery sequence “Tree of Faith and Surrender” from the Imagery 2 cd. Also working in “Field of Creation” at times the orphans need attention. And body truths “Ultimate Gratitude” and “Welcome Home.” I have stayed with the “Tree and Faith of Surrender” – it is remaining very juicy and I am shifting. The ball is changing. It is not so dangerous nor so big. Still very painful though. My body truth homeplay has become much more engaged over the last months. Through the “Welcome Home” sequence I see how much frustration and anger reside in me. I am exploring ways to increase my engagement in bodywork. I am seeing someone in a few weeks to try somatic experiencing. This week has been calmer overnight but last week I had alot of disturbing dreams. One where I was very sick with cancer and was dying over the course of months. I was so sick I could barely move and was in bed. My mother was by my bedside the entire time telling me it was my own fault and this is meant to happen, that I should be grateful for her being there as I die. After being so in the depths of powerlessness for awhile I am noticing a shift this week. Overall I give my homeplay a 15

    take care,
    Galina

  46. MM says:

    I am continuing with Sacred Choices regarding food. I’m starting to really feel my resistance to receiving. As I become more focused in my imagery practice on making healthy choices, I find myself strongly sabotaging these healthy choices in my daily reality, completely pushing against the choices that are healing. I recognize an orphan who feels she doesn’t have what it takes.

  47. Alina says:

    The past few days, I have introduced a few new exercises into my practice: Field of Surrender imagery and Speak Your Peace and Unconditional Gratitude body truth. I also continue with Orchard of Possibility imagery and Rock the Baby because body truth because they continue to feel good, comforting and supportive.

    There are new orphans that have surfaced so I am being attentive to them and want to hear and know what they have to say. Sometimes I just have to sit, close my eyes and take long deep breaths when I have feelings that are overwhelming. It helps to calm my mind.

  48. P. says:

    I have kept listening to my orphans through the field of creation exercise. I’ve identified three orphans that I want to work on: 1) the orphan that is afraid of poverty, the one that blames me if I did not consume all the leftovers and now I have to throw them away; 2) the perfectionist orphan that blames me because I tried that candy they brought to the office (even if it is only one candy…) which will most certainly hurt my healing and it is all my fault; 3) the third orphan.. I put off dealing with this one for too long, because of shame: the orphan with nervous tics, the one with obsessive feelings, which she masks very well, but they are there, and if I do not listen to them now I will be forced to do it sooner or later. I am just observing the three of them, am not pushing any healing at the moment. Just acknowledging and accepting they are here with me.

    P.

  49. MM says:

    I have continued 2x daily with Sacred Choices in relation to my food/beverage choices.

  50. Sharmini says:

    I have been working on Jailbreak and Tree of Faith and Surrender from the 2nd Fertile Heart Imagery CD. Both imagery have alot of juice in them for me. In the jailbreak, in some cases it is two young children that lock me the jail. Sometimes it is a woman who looks like me. I always want to get out, the jail is very small and sometimes I am pounding against the jail cell to be let out. When I get out of the jail the path is not that clear. Sometimes I meet my family; my husband and kids.
    Tree of faith and surrender has been interesting as well. The ball that i try to roll all my efforts into has so many textures and colors, the predominant colors are white and red. Sometimes the ball is so big that it is hard to bury it. I have to dig really far down. I missed my morning sequence yesterday but made sure I made the time this morning.
    I also did the body truth – welcome home. The strongest feeling was confusion. I would rate it a 9.5. I need to do body truth daily!

  51. MM says:

    I have continued with Sacred Choices guided imagery withthe intention to make better food and beverage choices.

  52. MM says:

    I’ve been doing the Body Truth- Elbows First- but instead of moving my elbows I find myself prefering to use a strong swimming motion, like I’m strong and swimming upstream through any muck. I am also working with the Guided imagery Sacred Choices, using the street of nutritionally depleting food on the left (need a better name for that) and the avenue of nutritionally enlivening food on the right. EVery time i try to commit to this very imagery, I stop after a day or two. SO I am hoping for the strength to stick with it this time for at least 14 days.

  53. Alina says:

    After another break in my daily FH exercices, I returned to practice this morning with meditation, and imagery work.

    My in-laws were visiting for 5 days from Norway and we really enjoyed their visit. Because they are early risers and I am not, I couldn’t squeeze in my practice early in the morning and I surely missed it. Also, really did not do a good job of eating well since we were out a lot taking them places and eating out. I don’t feel the same will power as I normally have.

    This morning my practice was really sweet and I returned to Orchard of Possibilities and the Backpack. I rate it a 9-10.

    My period is late and I’m not pregnant so at this time I am being very mindful of where my thoughts and feelings are taking me and I’m happy to have my OVUM tools to work with right now. There may be so doubtful orphans lurking around. Sigh..

  54. MM says:

    I’ve been re-reading the Fertile Female. Am doing some guided imagery from Chapter 13, A New Beginning and Retrieving the Treasure. Feel I’m walking into an entirely new life, embracingthe gift of Freedom.

  55. gal says:

    Started homeplay with Cd 3 from Imagery 2 – using “Tree of Faith and Surrender” and “Council of Babies.” Feels very right to be using these guided imagery sequences right now. The “Tree of Faith and Surrender” has been very challenging. Very difficult to put everything I haven’t felt is as it should into a ball. There are knife and saw blades in the ball – very dangerous. Not sure what this means – trying to listen closely what is so at risk for this orphan to let go. Guidance has been that I have not been ready for another child. Alot has been shifting – many things in my life. I may be becoming an easterner again. Love living in the west but something very huge is opening up. Homeplay has been challenging – give myself a 12. Did some bodywork release work with a practicioner and it was very beneficial. looking forward to tonight’s call
    Galina

  56. MM says:

    Last night and this afternoon I did the guided imagery sequences Cuttingthe Cord and Gates of Love and Fulfillment. I’m gettinga lot of clarification from the Gates of Love and Commitment, particularly in the area of work and home. I’ve been engaging in a lot of dreamwork laely, but I’ve been doing in mentally rather than in a notebook, and I don’t think it is as effective. My dreams have been pretty intense. I’m longing for more BodyTruth.

  57. Sharm says:

    I did the field of creation this week with a really angry, frustrated orphan who just does not understand why this has to be so hard for her but so easy for so many people. There are 6 people I know in the last month that are pregnant..just so easily it seems.
    It was good to give the orphan an opportunity to express herself. I have been wanting to do a body truth around it but have not had a chance yet.
    I also did the council of babies and the message from the babies was not clear. Looking forward to connecting this evening!

    S.

  58. P. says:

    This week I took the “council of babies” exercise and turned it into a “council of orphans” exercise. The idea came up suddenly and I gave it a try. I felt I was able to observe a lot more, to listen to the council. And even in other moments outside the exercises I was looking for some time to stay still and listen. It was my favorite activity this week. There is a lot of turn over in the council, with old orphans being replaced by new ones, especially a lot of adolescent ones are emerging very strongly.

    P.

  59. MM says:

    I have been doing 2 guided imagery sequences from the imagery 2 disc, on disc 2: The Gates of Love and Fulfillment and Cutting the Cord. The intensity of my commitment remains very high but I am working through finding the time with many other obligations. SLowly letting go of the other obligations and listening/tending to the oprphan who never has enough time.

  60. gal says:

    Opened up to some new guided imagery this week. Focused on “jailbreak” and “Lifting the Burden” guided imagery from Imagery 2 cd. Also used “Field of Creation” at times and Body Truths “Welcome Home” and “Ultimate Gratitude. Overall strong practice this week – a 10. Did start with meditation again. Have a lot shifting and it seems to help relax my mind. Had a small birthday dinner for myself over the weekend which I am really glad I did. Notice I am feeling alone alot lately – My husband has away since mid-february. He will come home in a week or two.

    Take care,
    Galina

  61. Alina says:

    Started this week and morning with Current of Creation guided imagery. I felt it was just what I needed after a weekend break from imagery and body truth. Felt so relaxed and ready to get the week going.
    Tonight I’ll look into new body truth exercises and continue with Backpack and Orchard of Possibility imagery.

  62. Sharm says:

    Practiced the following body truth exercises from the Body truth CD the last 4 days:
    1) Welcome home
    2) Defend and receive.
    Really enjoyed both of them and I would rate it about 9.5

  63. Alina says:

    Skipped imagery and body truth this weekend. Let’s see what next week brings. Look forward to new body truth exercises.
    Happy Sunday!

  64. MM says:

    I did not do any guided imagery last night or this morning. My mind was on it, and I spent a lot of time thinking of my FH journey today, but I didn’t make time for the guided imagery.

  65. Alina says:

    Wow, where has time gone! It’s been two weeks since I posted. I’ve been working daily with guided imagery and body truth. but my meditation practice has suddenly stopped.
    Exercises are The Backpack and Orchard of Possibilities. Both are very good for me now. Rate it about 8-9. Body truths are Let it Be and Follow the Longing. I think it’s time to move on to another body truth exercise. About 7-8.

    Had an amazing weekend with my husband. We went to Sequoia National Park in Central California and we had two days of cross country skiing in the wilderness. It was an awe inspiring experience. Nature at it’s finest! When we stopped in our tracks to listen, our world was completely silent and still, just the two of us surrounded by thousands year old Sequoia trees. Not one sound to be heard except for my heart beating.

    I had ovulation signs that weekend so it was exciting to spend time together in the lodge and have nothing to do except to be in each others presence and have an intimate time together. Sometimes I think I have become delusional to think that conception can happen but I let myself go there. I say to myself “what the heck just believe in it, what do I have to lose?”

    I love being connected to all of you amazing fertile women. I have never been so open about expressing my feelings. It feels great to do it here!

  66. P. says:

    Almost a whole week without exercising. I humbly admit that I do not know which exercise to pick but I do know what I want to work on: I need more clarity with some ghost orphans, still invisible and yet even more powerful, which I cannot identify and which keep ruling my thoughts and my actions. It is not even a question of honestly processing emotions because I have only a vague idea of what these emotions refer to. I will try with mosaic of revelations.

    P.

  67. MM says:

    I did not do any guided imagery last night. This afternoon I did Tree of Faith and Surrender and Mosaic of Revelations. Been working with these 2 for awhile. Juicy stuff going on.

  68. Gal says:

    Stuck in orphan land last few days – anybody need a t-shirt? Using guided imagery of “Field of Creation” to help identify the orphan(s). The two I am visiting are definitely infuriated. I would give my homeplay a 12. Not the most inspiring homeplay ever with images of my future family running through fields of flowers but definitely juicy and cathartic and I am feeling so in a place of wanting to shift that all involved are being brutally honest. Thinking “jailbreak” would be an imagery exercise that would be beneficial now and maybe “blanket of reasurance” since it’s so difficult for the UM to even get her arms around these two although they are desperately in need of contact.

    Sigh,
    Galina

  69. MM says:

    I did not do any guided imagery last night.
    This morning I did the Tree of Faith and Surrender and Fork in the Road from the imagery 2 CD, disc 3.
    I crave some Fertile Heart Body Truth practice, but I have not been finding a way to make time for it.

  70. MM says:

    Last night and this morning I did the same guided imagery, Tree of Faith and Surrender and Mosaic of Revelation, while listening to Julia’s voice on the imagery 2 CD. I have also been singing some of Julia’s chants regularly.

  71. MM says:

    Last night and this morning I continued with The Tree of Faith and Surrender and Mosaic of Revelations guided imagery off the imagery2 CD. In addition, this morning I listened to all of Disc 3 and did the imagery sequences for each one.

  72. gal says:

    Hi,

    Overall have done well this week with my practice – a 10 at least. Took good care of the orphans and the visionary was able to act. Continued with body truths “Welcome Home” and “Ultimate Gratitude” and guided imagery sequences “Issues in your Tissues: uterus” and “Field of Creation.” Really looking forward to the phone circle tonight and seeing what level 2 is like. Have not tried to conceive since September – started thinking about it some this morning – need to see if it is the orphan or visionary who is acting. Starting an important part of my trauma therapy today – want to see what that brings before taking next step.

    take care,
    Galina

  73. MM says:

    I am continuing with The Mosaic of Revelations from the imagery 2 CD as well as the guided imagery which follows it, the one with the tree. Lately I have been listening to the CD while I do the imagery, which helps to keep my focused.

  74. Sharm says:

    Hi, just checking in on my homework, it’s been awhile. So happy the blog is still going strong! It’s been about two and half months!

    I have been pretty good with my imagery but my body truth has dwindled and I need to pick it up!
    I am working on 1) Supporting ovulation, 2) unblocking fallopian tubes 3) and mirror of truth. They have been helpful while I am in mid cycle. Particularly the mirror of truth where I see an image of myself completely old, grey and wrinkled and sometimes people in white coats saying to me, you have a history of endo, this is going to be hard. It feels really soothing to wipe out the image gently and see a picture of me looking more vibrant, sometimes it is a 12year old version of me! I can sometimes get an image of myself pregnant and sometimes it’s just a sense. I love it! When I ask myself how I got there what comes up is to trust myself, believe in yourself and what you know about your body to be true!

  75. MM says:

    I am continuing to work with the Mosaic of Revelations guided imagery. Much coming through in dreams.

  76. gal says:

    Hi,

    I have begun to be able to get back into some normal sleep and my life is stabilizing some from a lot of shifts last week. My practice is coming back as well. WHile I noticed that I could generally function through the day with lack of sleep and stress my practice was noticably effected with a lack of focus. I returned to the body truths “Ultimate Gratitude” and “Welcome Home” and the guided imagery on imagery 2 of “Field of Creation” and “Issues with your tissues” with a focus on my uterus. My husband is in his hometown helping with his father and looking for a job. I am here 2300 miles away making the most of a situation that may possibly implode or just completely shift into something else. I have so much of myself open in the therapy I am doing I just can’t leave like this and change everything. My husband moved largely to give me the stability to continue this to a more natural place to end. We also preserving our chance for another child. My homeplay I rank at a 9 this week and I am overall feeling more in visionary mode.

    Take care,
    Galina!

  77. P. says:

    Hi Ladies,

    This week I kept working on family ties and in particular on the exercises “cutting the cord” and “canopy of compassion”. I feel I have not exhausted the teaching that is coming to me with these imageries and am planning to work on them a bit longer. My dreams tell me I need to work on these issues. Yesterday I started adding “all of me, all of you”, which perhaps I will focus on more this coming week.
    I felt stuck at times, like MM, but in a way I know this was just a little break from more intense learning to come. Like Alina, am learning to develop a different relationship with my menstrual cycle, which is trying to come back after my system suffered the consequences of a cycle of fertility drug. The absence of a cycle is teaching me a lot, is making me look at other ways to becoming a mother, is telling me I need to forge an alliance with “all of me”. Bowing to what is in total honesty is a great relief. Need to sit on this feeling more often.

    P.

  78. MM says:

    I am working with the Fertile Heart Mosaic imagery (can’t remember exact title right now), the one from the last phone circle and also on the Imagery 2 CD. Whew! Feels good to say that. I took a detour the last couple weeks. Just when I decided to expand my commitment to include posting about action steps, I hit a wall. Boom. Crash. Ouch.I wasn’t able to follow through on the specific action I felt guided to do, although i tried, and then the “I’m not strong enough” orphan took over. I felt paralyzed and couldn’t do any of the Fertile Heart imagery. I became ill, and felt busy, and sort of checked out.But my dreams became really intense, and I found myself taking other steps, actions that I hadn’t even thought of 2 weeks ago. SOmehow i took steps to alter (for the better) my health, my work situation, and my level of engagement with a hobby I’m very passionate about, but had let go of. And some ofthis required me to be bold, to take a stance. And I didn’t really realize I was “taking steps” until I looked back, and thought, “Whoa, where did that come from?”I am really struck by the power of the Fertile Heart guided imagery. It led me to life-enhancing action steps, and gave me the strength to follow through–even though I hit a temporary rough spot.Cool stuff.

  79. Alina says:

    New cycle started yesterday so I am celebrating with a fresh set of exercises. Practice now includes ‘Orchard of Possibilities’ imagery and ‘Let it Be’ body truth. Rate both about 7-8.

    Trying to let go of old ways of viewing my monthly cycle. Since this is my second menstrual cycle after an absence of cycles for so long, I am working on seeing myself as a different and evolved Alina; not the old Alina that didn’t have a nurturing relationship with menstruation.

    Getting my period used to be a source of frustration because it was usually late and when I finally got it, it was a feeling of another failed attempt at conceiving and disappointment that my periods were so irregular. There was no trust. I felt deceived each time.

    Now I am celebrating that my body is coming back and proving to me that it can create a beautiful, healthy cycle. I am more trusting of myself and honor my body more for the faith it is showing me as it tries to balance out. It has been such a long process and I’m taking it step by step. Also working on soothing the impatient orphans when they pop up here and there.

    Right now on day two of my cycle, I am empowering my pituitary gland to strengthen it’s faith in my ovaries and to encourage my hormones (FSH and estrogen) to respond in beautifully balanced unison. Sending them lots of cheers and support!

  80. Gal says:

    Hi all,

    Enjoying reading your posts of your continued healing. My life is having so many shifts right now I am looking to my soul play as way to keep some consistancy. The intensity of my imagery and body truth has dropped off I believe due to my mind being pre-occupied quite a bit. I have used the OVUM tools this week just to realize where I am. I often saw the orphan very angry because she has felt forgotten. I have come back though to the body truth ultimate gratitude and the guided imagery of field of creation and more recently started issues in your tissues with a focus on my uterus. I would give my play a 7 this past week. On saturday I attended a group myofascial release class that was very cathartic. It helped me get back into my body and soul. My practice with the body truth exercises helped me to engage in this work.

    Take care everybody,
    Galina

  81. Sharm says:

    I have been working on the mosaic of revelations imagery sequence from the 2nd imagery CD and also the room of fear for the past week.
    When we first did the sequence on the phone circle I saw an image of my self when I first got my period and all the pain and confusion that was associated with that day and time in my life. It felt very alive even though it was so long ago. Also received images of myself being beaten as a child that need healing.
    Once I wipe the image away the new image I get is of myself very pregnant in the 3rd trimester..it’s a juicy image.

    Have a good week everyone!
    S

    Best

  82. Alina says:

    Today I returned to one of my original favorite Body Truths. It is the long guided meditation. I had suggested it to Lisa who is newly pregnant and realized that I can benefit from it as well after a long break.

    It was so soothing and very different from when I first did it 4 months ago. I’m more relaxed less uptight with myself and I can see that my relationship with my body has evolved into a more trusting one rather than disconnected.

    I’m looking for an imagery to help guide me as I’m building expectations about my next menstrual cycle and wondering if it will be on time or not. I’d rather let it be so I want to help my expectation orphans relax a bit.

    Happy weekend everyone!

  83. P. says:

    Julia,

    Thank you for the wonderful stories you posted. They were a powerful medicine for me on many levels. Your post led me to review once again my attitude towards receiving and many orphans emerged, most of whom are more scared about the good news than the bad ones….
    My sequences this week were “cut the cord” and “canopy of compassion”. I resisted doing them so far, but the time is ripe to address many cords that are keeping me in orphan to orphan relationships.

    P.

  84. Gal says:

    Hi all,

    I have continued with my practice. Used the body truth “Defend – Receive” And guided imagery sequences from Imagery 2 cd “Ovum of Possibility” and “Field of Creation.” Also some around my sexuality – the Galina who does not feel sexual/the Galina who does. In general over a 10. My practice with the OVUM tools has remained strong although meditation as a tool dropped off. Things have actually been very difficult again financially with the company I work for not paying me for now 6 weeks. I am not laid off or unemployed – there is really little to go to here. THey think they will get some money this week. My husband though is so to a point of being tired of being so underemployed and being so unable to assist me in carrying the weight. He is likely going back East to look for work among family connections. So I am not sure what is developing in my life – if this will blow over or will I as well be moving cross country again. I am so in love with my job but at some point I must face the music. Also I must support my husband in his efforts to stabilize us. So I am noticing such a feeling of unrest but also the joy of living a full life – thanks for the OVUM tools Julia they are helping. We are determined to keep our longings alive.

    Take care everyone,
    Galina

  85. Mandy says:

    Thank you for this, Julia. Success stories are very healing for me, as I am sure they are for everyone. It’s possible for me, I just know it.
    My work this past week has been sporadic. Checking in with myself to figure out why. I have been working with “Issues in your tissues” and have felt very distracted when doing it. My head seems full of chatter.
    I did start going to a hot yoga class this week. I had been staying away from this form of exercise, thinking that the heat was not healthy for me, even though going to these classes helped me to feel incredibly empowered,healthy, and detoxified. I started going again- listening to my ultimate mom when she said that if this feels good, then do it. I feel like I am mothering myself by doing this, as it has been calling to me.
    Elbows first has been very helpful during this week of finding out about several new friends that are pregnant. God I feel so fortunate for you, Julia, and for these tools.

  86. P. says:

    This week felt incredibly long. Many insights and realizations, including the feeling that I need to lower my adrenaline. It feels like I am constantly trying to overdo (with diet, exercising, even meditation…) and that what I achieve is never enough. But not everything in life can be achieved through adrenaline. And I failed exactly where adrenaline is least useful. Have kept doing the transport to truth exercise and one day I sat there and did not pick any vehicle. The previous days I chose very powerful motorcycles, but that day I sat there and had a long chat with the UM. My biggest orphan is the one who wants to see a sign of recovery and does not accept the signs of non-recovery. My body is still not following me and considering all the attention I am trying to give it, it means I perhaps use the wrong type of attention. Intensity varied a lot from a 10 to a 3. Early morning is where I usually feel more connected.

    P.

    • Dear P and all the beautiful women who are continuing this thread of comments. I don’t usually focus much on sharing the emails I get, just because life is very full. I also don’t have much time to ask people to share their stories with all of you. But reading your comment today P, I realize it’s important to pass these on. These are just a few recent ones, so that you know that everyone of these moms was just quite recently where you are today.
      With love,
      Julia

      Dear Julia

      “I came from Switzerland last summer to attend your workshop. After many specialists telling me my only chance at motherhood would be through egg donation or adoption, I was compelled to come That day with you was transformative. I was filled with such energy and passion…Three months later I became pregnant. I get goose bumps now even typing this. The doctors were completely stunned and kept doing ultrasounds every week in the beginning to “see if it was still there.”…

      Amy Smearsoll, Switzerland

      Hi Julia,

      I’ve been a follower of yours for some time, books, calls and emails, I wanted to let you know that against all odds and predictions (age, high FSH, low AMH, you name it I had it diagnosed…) I became a mother last week at age 42 of a beautiful baby girl. Thank you for all your support and what you do for women around the world!

      Warmly,

      M and baby E

      From M. L.

      With joy and gratitude, we welcome the arrival of our baby boy Isaac, who found us through the miracle of adoption.
      Photo and vital statistics attached.

      I am completely exhilarated by the experience of motherhood, completely in love and unbelievably happy. This is sooooo good and we feel incredibly blessed. Isaac is a gem, a very healthy and cute baby, and he has his parents wrapped around his little fingers, and it feels so good!

      All the best to you in 2011.

      Dear Julia,

      Your most recent email reminded me that I should update you on ourlittle miracle. I took your workshop just over a year ago, in December ’09- and emailed you over the summer to let you know that I was pregnant…We welcomed our little boy Elijah on November 7th. After a rough start…today he is the picture heath! He is perfect, healthy,and beautiful in every way and we are so thrilled
      with our family of four.

      Thank you for all of the work that you do- I have shared your books
      with many others who are struggling with their birthing processes.

      Best,
      Kate.

      Hi Julia,
      I wanted to share with you that I am now 32 weeks pregnant, today and doing well.
      I was blessed to be a part of your phone circle early on, right after my 2nd miscarriage.
      I was going to take your course, but then I never did. But I wanted you to know that I refer people to your website and your classes, all the time. You have such a warm heart and soul– and it resonated thru the phone on the few brief times I spoke to you.
      So, I just wanted to circle back with you and let you know my good news…..after 2 miscarriages & at 41years young, I got pregnant naturally and I’m 32 weeks and heading down the path towards fulfilling my lifelong dream of becoming a mother.
      Thank you!
      Love & light,

      Sara

  87. MM says:

    I have not done the guided imagery or body truth the past couple of days. In working with The Ladder, I haveto acknowledge and free some orphans, and this isn’t easy when they’d like to saty put.
    I’m thinking of adding one more element to my committment, which is a commitment to post about whether or not I’ve taken the action steps that I know would lead me toward a healthier body. Doing the guided imagery daily is easier than taking the necessary steps, so I am going to kick it up a notch in order to give myself more accountability.

  88. Alina says:

    Continue to do Cell Talk Imagery and Feel the Longing body truth. It feels really good to work on these in tandem. Also tried Mirror of truth imagery and looking into what’s next. Have to let my Visionary loose to see where she takes me.

    Also have continued practice dream reading and I am benefiting from it. I’m recalling dreams I had when I was a teenager into my late 20’s. I remember having super powers and I want to re-connect to that energy. It was empowering and I remember thinking that I could reach the stars and it wasn’t hard at all. Loving it!

  89. Sharm says:

    Hi Everyone,

    Checking in with what I have been working on over the last week. I hear us all getting stronger as I read this. Mandy, the 20 minutes of yoga you do daily really resonated with me. I try to do about 10 mins every morning but sometimes I need to skip it in the interest of time. Your post made me want to do my practice in more committed way.
    This week I continued to work on the Field of creation sequence from the imagery 2 CD. Some interesting orphans showed up like the huge one who says why do you still hope? you have a history of endo and this is never going to happen for you. I am planning on starting a peer circle next month and the orphan who came up recently said “no one cares what is the point of doing this?”

    The dream re-construction imagery was quite healing as well. My child in the imagery really loved bath time and to splash around in the tub!
    My orphan shows up at night and I continue to listen to her and still stay up too late and have missed the nightly imagery sequence three times last week including last night.
    I have also been working on the “welcome home” body truth sequence from the body truth CD and really loving it. I find it very grounding. The strongest feeling that came up today was anxiety in my neck and shoulder area and it felt good to release it. I would rate my body truth practice today at a 9. I have done it three times this week. Interesting to notice how I never give myself a 10. I wonder who is rating these sequences..

  90. MM says:

    I did the guided imagery sequences that I have been working on 2x. Did a little body truth today for the first time in awhile.

    Anne,
    Happy to see you here again. Please come back. We all support you!

    The ladder imagery has helped me to identify some orphans that i didn’t realize were active. With this sequence,I don’t get the insight while doing the guided imagery. In fact, the orphans climbing the ladder are usually anonymous, or nameless. But in doing the guided imagery consistently, the insight comes at other times during the day.

  91. Alina says:

    Hello FH Ladies,
    I haven’t posted my practice activities recently but I have been fully engaged with both imagery and body truth exercises. I especially enjoy my morning ritual and I try my best to practice at night as well.

    I start every morning with Feel the Longing body truth followed by Cell Talk imagery. I’m much more connected to my body, sometimes I’m not sure how to read what I notice or feel in my body but I am more aware. It is very reassuring to have this closer relationship with myself. I rate it a 9-10 over the past 2 weeks.

    After my beautiful cat passed away last week, I started The Pillow imagery because it helped me start to let go of the attachments I felt. I had to modify the imagery to work with this particular circumstance and it has been working well. Today, I was finally able to let go of the pillow without shedding a tear. It has helped me and I am grateful that this imagery work can be applied to different situations.

    I’m excited about starting a new set of imagery and body truth exercises because there is so much to learn about myself and it inspires me.

  92. Gal says:

    Hi all,

    Happy to see this thread continuing with such strength and soul play. The last week I continued as I have for the last month. Practiced Body truths of “Ultimate Gratitude” and “Welcome Home” and guided imagery sequences “Field of Creation” and “Land of Haves.” Also at times practiced imagery sequences “Room of Fear”, “Ovum of Possibilities” and the one where I invite an image of the Galina who does not trust she can conceive again/the Galina who does. I have continued expanding my faith and noticed i was really taking in the idea of receiving and becoming more aware of how I don’t always show up enough to receive. I got very ill over the weekend and believe it was my body ridding itself of old stuff. It turned out to be an opportunity to test being more receptive to allowing my husband to take care of me more than I usually am ever comfortable with and it genuinely felt good. I noticed this morning with the illness on its way out I was ready for a shift in exercises and half started with the body truth “Defend-Receive” and the guided imagery sequence “Ovum of Possibility.” I would rate my soulplay this last week at a 10. Sharmini and P I am glad the suggestions were helpful and know that I often gain much insight from your posts and insights – many miracles and snowflakes between us. MM _ I am interested to continuing hearing of the ladder sequence. My orphans apparantly aren’t interested or ready for that one but that has the visionary thinking it is probably just what they need.
    THanks Mandy for starting this whole long wonderful thread!
    till next time,
    Galina

  93. Mandy says:

    Hi all-
    I have been experimenting with some new imagery work. I was doing a lot on my own, and then felt like I needed to hear Julia’s voice, and to be a bit more guided. So, I have been working quite a bit with disc number two, and the “Issues in you Tissues” sequences. I particularly enjoy these as they allow me to have a strong connection to my “insides.” I enjoy picturing my organs- all functioning healthily and experiencing the feeling of heat in my body during the sequences where there is “light” traveling through me.
    I have started to do yoga more regularly, and this has become my body work for the past few days. I find just focusing for 20 minutes on my mat at home is very grounding.
    Keep up the wonderful work, everyone. It’s so nice to be here with you.

  94. MM says:

    I did the guided imagery 2x yesterday and this morning.

  95. MM says:

    I am continuing with the guided imagery, The Ladder, which I find to be wonderfully nurturing (thanks, Julia!). In one image, an unidentified orphan climbed the ladder while pushing other orphans back down. She wanted “out” but she wasn’t about to let the others be free as well. So I am hoping for some insight about who this scared, selfish orphan is. My intention with Sacred choices is to improve my food/beverage choices.

  96. P. says:

    This week I did the imagery “transport to truth”. For a few days I could not visualize the place of truth and often not even the means of transport. But as Galina suggested, I stayed with whatever images emerged and did not push away uncomfortable feelings. Once I broken my transport, a motorcycle, with a baseball bat and did not arrive anywhere that day, just stayed there with the anger and the broken vehicle. That day the intensity was about 9. Also, thanks for the book suggestion, Galina, I am going to make an order with amazon or check in the local library. Sharmini, your dream on the phone circle was very powerful for me too, a reminder to get down that stair no matter what.

    P.

  97. Sharm says:

    Hi Ladies, I am with Mandy it’s so amazing to read your posts and connect with everyone even if it’s just once a week I love having this space. I can see you all moving forward and it’s so fantastic to witness!

    Gal – your posts really resonated with me today as a woman I work with is pregnant and I could immediately feel the orphans rushing in…esp the big one who says “when is it going to be my turn”! I took some really deep breaths moved my body around a little and promised myself that I would do some much needed body work when I get home tonight. But just to be able to breath through it and immediately acknowlege that that’s an orphan felt like progress. Also to notice how my breathing changed when I heard the news and how I felt it in my body.

    This week I have worked on the dream reconstruction we did together in the last phone circle and the “Field of Creation” from the imagery 2 CD and the body truth “welcome home”. Gal I think it’s the 2nd time we’ve been on the same sequence in the same week. Another miracle!
    The dream re-construction was very difficult to picture when I started it and I kept at it every morning and evening as I felt it was important. It was difficult to picture the baby and then difficult to see that the baby was ok after the bath the images were not clear. They have recently grown increasingly clear and when I did it this morning my baby said -see mom I am just fine and that’s way too little water for a bath!
    In the field of creation I have been working with the orphan who refuses to go to bed on time and falls asleep on the couch, she is a stubborn one. Also the jealous one keeps coming up, the one who feels that she has been left out. I have done the body truth once this week and my body is craving more. I continue to fall asleep some nights before the imagery (need to get to bed earlier). Which is easier said than done when I get home around 9pm after I go the gym. I would rate my 5days at a 7.

    Have a great weekend!

    Best,
    Sharmini

  98. MM says:

    I am now working with 2 specific guided imagery sequences that I have chosen, based on the things I struggle with. I am working with Sacred Choices, experimenting with different roadsigns, and I am also doing The Ladder, from the teleconference back in early January. For several days my practice has been spotty as I have been very busy with a major life event, but I am trying to stay consistent, 2x daily. I haven’t done BodyTruth in several days and I miss it.

  99. Mandy says:

    Hello all-
    Its been wonderful to check in here and read all of your posts and witness your amazing commitment to yourselves. I do realize that an initial component of this challenge was to check in daily to report whether or not I had done my daily imagery and body truth, and I am questioning myself as to why I find it difficult to do this (I have not posted in several days).
    I have been doing my imagery- although sometimes not in the mornings, but always at night before bed. I am still doing a very “juicy” imagery sequence that Julia conceived during a session. I have been focusing on being more open, letting go and releasing during my imagery exercises. This particular one allows me this, and I have noticed that I have been increasingly more open with my emotions during my imagery work- doing things that I would never allow myself to do in reality. That is the beauty of this work- and I am grateful for what it allows.

  100. Gal says:

    Hi P.,

    I have had images like you describe – not what you are looking for – but maybe instead of trying to control the image you should embrace it. Maybe it is what your body and mind are trying to tell you. After I read the book “Broken Open” by Elizabeth Lesser I decided to stop trying to stall and freeze difficult feelings. Like every time I saw a pregnant woman or any of a number of other things that were irritating me, I would push it away. I decided to let it in and I often found what I thought was so angering or scary wasn’t at all what was there. It was important information.

    Take good care,
    Galina

  101. Gal says:

    Hi,

    Wow I can’t believe how much time has passed since i lasted posted here. The time has been full though and I my committment to the practice has been taking root. I have continued to do the body truth Ultimate Gratitude daily often first thing in the morning. Also using body truth welcome home – it often brings out the rage. For imagery I am using “The Galina who is ashamed/can’t conceive/the Galina who is not ashamed and can conceive. Also the guided imagery sequence The Field of Creation from the imagery 2 cd. In the last few days I changed and started exploring some of the other imagery on the imagery 2 cd. tried Ovum of Creation, Lifting the Burden and the Land of Haves. Overall I have been at a 10+ with connection.
    take care,
    Galina

  102. P. says:

    I am about to switch to a new set of imagery exercises. This week I did the mosaic of revelations and the tree of faith and surrender. At times I also did the field of creation, when I felt an orphan needed to be heard and there was something for me to learn. For a few days I felt particularly connected and I would say the intensity of the exercises was around 10. My images are clearer and I notice that I have to struggle a bit less to visualize a sequence. But I still have this thing happening where in the middle of a sequence something violent or disruptive takes place: in the tree of faith I saw a giant fist coming and punching me or the tree was collapsing or walking away, or I was doing something unpredictable. In another sequence I was pregnant but then my belly turned into a ball and started flying away. This sounds crazy, I know, I wonder if this happens to other people. At that point, I try to control the image and all the inspiration vanishes.
    P.

  103. Sharm says:

    I have been continuing with my imagery and body truth sequences. I missed the nightly imagery two nights in a row as I fell asleep before I did the imagery. Another sign that I should be going to be earlier.

    The imagery I have been working on for the 2nd week has been the “ladder of light” from the 2nd imagery CD. I have had quite a few orphan show up over the last couple of days..the one that keep showing up are the jealous orphans, the orphan that refuses to listen to guidance, the orphan that does not want to connect with her body, the orphan who feels that her body is not on her side. I have really enjoyed the Dance of truth imagery and really feeling life force moving through me and then converting that to a body truth and letting my body move in whatever direction it chooses. I have done that twice in the last 5 days. I have also had some very vivid dreams.

  104. Anne says:

    Hi,

    I’ve missed connecting to you in cyber-world, and I so love reading all the entries since mid-December, remembering the genius of this process, feeling not so alone.

    I’m reaching out after having toughed it out on my own through the holidays. I guess an Orphan barking that (1) I failed to follow through with my original commitment so don’t deserve the support, and alternately (2) I don’t need anyone anyway to accomplish this. The second came to a fore when over my past two cycles I’ve continued to take vitamins, do the BT and VI exercises, go to the acupuncturist weekly, eat healthily, dry scrub, meditate, practice asanas, pursue meaningful work…then don’t have sex! (at the right time) Yep. So, I’ve invested the $45 for a VIP membership at fertilityfriend.com. This is a humbling process.

    Underlying all my steps is just deep longing, and frustration with each missed ovulation. And I’m grateful for all that I’m learning.

    I look forward to our next phone session. Alina, thanks for the beautiful pregnancy image of us in a circle.

    Oh, and I’ve been doing the Child’s Play and Orphans BT and the Inside Job VI. Also, the greatest shift in my healing/happiness factor has been caring for a black lab. I’ve never been so happy living up in the snowy woods through 2 avalanche zones. This dog pops a champagne bottle every time I wake up, enter the door, and I’m enjoying some of the sweetest early am/late night walks. Highly recommend.

  105. MM says:

    Lots of orphans surfacing. Spotty practice last day and a half. I am going to pay more attention to my intention with the guided imagery. Yesterday I did several guided imagery sequences off the first CD: the Doorway Within, Hall of Forgiveness, New Beginning and Sacred Choices. I have also been working on Canopy of Compassion from the imagery 2 CD. I feel I need to narrow it down and stick to just a couple for at least a week.

  106. MM says:

    I am doing more Body Truth sequences. I am doing Let it Be from The Fertile Female, but I do it standing up, and I am geting a lot out of this. My body is more expressive standing up right now. I am also doing Elbows First and the guided imagery sequences Canopy of Compassion and Land of Halves.

  107. Mandy says:

    I started a new and very delicious imagery sequence with Julia’s help and guidance. During a session together we conceived of a sequence to help me get in touch with my orphans that are feeling pissed off about being “chosen” for this special challenge of infertility. I have someone to address my frustrations towards, and full permission to let loose. Also with Julia’s help, I have realized that I am often very reserved in both my imagery work and body truth work- always feeling as though I am not alone, being watched, and thus just a bit reserved and wanting to not fully release my emotions. This is something I need work on. I am realizing this has always been a character trait of mine- not wanting to piss anyone off, wanting to please, and being embarrassed to “cause a scene.”
    Imagery work has been going well for me, whereas I have been having a harder time committing to body truth. Still processing this truth and figuring out why.

  108. Gal says:

    Hi,

    Continued with the guided imagery sequence the Field of Creation from the Imagery 2 cd this week. Also Unconditional Gratitude Body truth guided sequence. I also utilized inviting am image of the Galina who feels ashamed and as a counterpart the Galina who does not. Also utilized this approach for the Galina who does not believe she can conceive again and Galina who does. Wanting to open to something new did Womb with a view body truth sequence from body truth cd. I tried this body truth a few months ago and thought I might vomit. Had a very different reaction this time. I have had a piece of my past fall into place this week and although it was another tragedy it has brought me confirmation of where some of my most frightening and difficult feelings have been coming from in the last 20 years. With this piece I feel clearer it is truly only a feeling and that there is nothing really to worry about anymore. Although I likely will not have much of a relationship with my Mom in the rest of this life I understand better who she is and who I am and want to be. I rate my homeplay the last days at a 10. Take care everybody,
    Galina

  109. MM says:

    Yesterday I began working with 2 new guided imagery sequences: The Land of Halves on the imagery 2 CD, and also The Canopy of Compassion from the same CD. I did the sequences 2x yesterday and this morning. The body truth I’ve been doing is Elbows First and I am continuing with SOul on Fire.

  110. Sharm says:

    I can’t believe a week has past since my last check in! Where does the time go.
    I have been working on two imagery sequences:
    1)The ladder of Light from the phone circle and 2nd Fertile Heart Imagery CD and 2)Dance of trust also from the same CD. When I first did the Ladder of light in the Phone Circle the orphans were charging up the stairs to get out. Since then the image has changed for instance the jealous orphan is really big and heavy and finds it hard to climb up the stairs, So is the orphan who feels that the re-occuring cysts are the reason I am not pregnant yet. The desperate orphan is skinner and seems to go up the ladder easier. The image is still juicy for me so I am going to continue with it for another week.
    2) I also I a enjoying the Dance of trust… today I converted that into a body truth and moved around letting the life-force move through me in whatever direction my body chose to move. it was fun to do since I had not done body truth in awhile very good…I would give it a 8.

    SP

  111. P. says:

    Like Mandy I have found very helpful to listen to the imagery CD before choosing a new sequence or if I find that my imagery exercises are no longer juicy for me. Yesterday I chose to do the mosaic of revelations and tree of faith and surrender. Another thing I noticed is that I tend to choose my exercises from the same set of sequences. Last week I was doing sequences from CD2, this week am doing sequences from CD3. My images are clearer and I do not have to fight that much to focus on them. Before there was much more disturbance. I also noticed that by being more present to my imagery sessions I am a bit more present to other aspects of life, or at least I am aware of this link.

    P.

  112. MM says:

    I spent a lot of time this morning listening to Julia’s imagery 2 CD, while doing each sequence as I listened. A couple of days ago I had decided to start new sequences from the CD, but I didn’t give myself the time to do so, so I ended up skipping the practice a couple times. Yesterday I had the pleasure of doing a little Fertile Heart guided imagery with a Fertile Heart friend.

  113. gal says:

    Hi,

    I have continued with my practice:
    on 1/1/11 I did body truths: unconditional gratitude and welcome home – gave myself a 7 and a 9. I also did the guided imagery sequences from imagery 2 – Room of Fear and Field of Creation at an 8 and a 10. I was having a difficult time the day before continuing into this day and this homeplay really helped me hear the orphan and support her. From 1/2 on to today I have primarily focused on the Welcome Home and Unconditional Gratitude Body truths and for imagery sequences the Room of Fear but primarily the Field of Creation. I have been in the 8-10 range this week with all of these sequences. This has also been the most engaged I have been with the body truth work and it is helping me notice and release more. I have also utilized the imagery sequence we did at Monday 1/3 teleclass of doing this work at a level 10 and a level 20. Overall I have increased my committment to the practice this week. It is helping me in many ways. I have also been doing 10-20 minutes of meditation almost daily.

    Take care,
    Galina

  114. Alina says:

    Thanks, Mandy! It feels so much better to truly enjoy all the gifts that life presents to us.

    I have continued with Retrieve the Treasure imagery and it gets more alive and real. Instead of seeing material treasures, today I saw an image of my baby when I opened the case. Felt very heartwarming and good medicine for my day.

    I started Cell Talk imagery yesterday and I’m enjoying it. Each time, I find my heart cells singing to my ovary cells. Feels sweet and endearing.

    I realized this week that I havent been doing Body Truth. Don’t know why, so I plan on starting again.

  115. Mandy says:

    As usual, the teleclass reinvigorated me on Monday night! I have been enjoying doing the “ladder of light” imagery that we did together- really healing to see those orphans climb up that ladder. That imagery struck a cord with me, and I plan on using it for a while now.
    Alina- wonderful to hear you are doing better after the holidays and “feeling deserving of treasures and gifts.” You are!

  116. Alina says:

    I had a breakthrough!!
    After being in a funk post holidays, I can convincingly say it’s over. Thanks to the teleclass last night, my imagery work, a passage I read in “Anatomy of the Spirit”, and my hubby sending me a text to check in on me.

    I’ve been practicing Retrieving the Treasure imagery and it has evolved into something very beautiful over the days. This morning I saw a glowing case, when I opened it I found a strand of pearls and I didn’t hesitate to put it on. It felt like it belonged to me. I didn’t think about it too much until this afternoon. It dawned on me that I felt deserving of the treasures and gifts I am finding in my heart. They are for me to cherish and enjoy. My UM has been patient with me these days waiting for me to figure it out on my own. Thank you!

  117. MM says:

    I did the guided imagery and body truth a.m and p.m. AFter 7 days with the same sequences, i am planning to choose different sequences beginning tomorrow.

  118. MM says:

    I did the body truth and guided imagery sequences twice today. I feel I’m receiving a lot through the guided imagery called Gates of Love and Fulfillment. I have also noticed that there is a lot of hugging going on in different guided imagery sequences, and I am liking this!

  119. Alina says:

    Happy 2011 to all! I had a beautiful visualization last week, we were all in a circle and either pregnant or holding a newborn. It was really beautiful and although I haven’t met you ladies, it felt very real and there were many smiles and love in the circle. Wanted to share that with you!

    I am back home now and ready to engage fully again with the FH tools. Time away with my husbands family in Norway was very nice but it did distract me from being fully engaged with my practice.

    Upon my return, I decided to do try “the Pillow” since it was one of my regular imagery exercises before my trip. I found that it was completely transformed, everything I saw and felt was full of light and sun. I was able to let go of the pillow and not feel any attachment to it. It was very comforting and reassuring. It confirmed that I was ready to move on. I would rate it a 9.

    I started “Retrieving the Treasure” today and I can tell there is work to be done. I saw a case full of jewels deep down in the depths of my body. When I retrieved it and opened it, I felt that the jewels didn’t belong to me. Then right away I had a feeling that maybe I wasn’t worthy of owning these jewels and treasures. Although this imagery brought up sad feelings, I look forward to continuing and see what happens. I rate it a 7.

  120. Mandy says:

    Hi All! Happy New Year.
    I am looking forward to the phone circle tomorrow night, as I feel that I managed to get a bit off track with my body truth work over the holidays. I have been doing my imagery work, added “It’s all Good” and one focusing on my fallopian tubes- which I know are clear, but still need the extra imagery work to convince my orphans.
    Looking forward to continuing this challenge in this new year that I am sure is going to bring many blessings.

  121. Sharm says:

    Like many of you the holidays were difficult for me to keep to my routine as well. I have been doing the imagery but not consistently. The last two nights I fell asleep before I did my nightly imagery. I am still working on the “three frames imagery” from the phone circle and the “cyst free” imagery I conceived with Julia.

    The orphan that came up in the three frames this morning was the one who feels that she has been ripped off. She has been deprived by being one of her only friends not to have a baby yet and also she just got a offer on her house and she feels the people making the offer are ripping her off by forcing her to accept a low offer.
    It was difficult to see the transition from the orphan to the Visionary.. I will work on this again this evening.

    For body truth I did Soul on Fire from the Body Truth CD and I would rate it about a 6.5.

    The cysts free imagery continues to be healing for me and I feel that focusing on a few minutes on my ovaries has created more room for them.. I will be moving on to a new imagery sequence tomorrow I am committing to spending one minute every day just connecting with that part of my body.

    Happy New Year!
    Sharmini

  122. MM says:

    Did the guided imagery and body truth today, afternoon and evening.

  123. Gal says:

    Hi and Happy New Year!

    On the 28th I continued with the guided imagery sequence from the Imagery 2 cd – “Issues In Your Tissues” – focusing on the ovaries – 7

    Same on 29th – a 7 again.

    30th – no practice!

    31rst- From Imagery 2 cd – imagery sequence – “It’s All Good” 2 times – gave myself a 6 and a 7.

    Overall my practice the last few days has not been as juicy. I am under a tough deadline and I was fortunate to fly in my former assistant for a few weeks to get me through it. I have not had the space to do what I need – but I will take some time tonight to listen to a couple orphans who have been having a particularly tough time today.

    Take care,
    Galina

  124. MM says:

    On the road (traveling)past few days.

    Tuesday–did guided imagery while in car (not the same at all as when I engage at home), I did not do any body truth.
    Wednesday–skipped both guided imagery and body truth completely, although it was on my mind
    Thursday–did guided imagery
    Friday–I did both the guided imagery and body truth exercies twice today.

    not sure if I skipped practice completely on Wednesday because my routine was thrown off from traveling, or because the guided imagery sequences I’ve now chosen are causing me to face some truths that are more difficult, and so traveling became an easy excuse.
    Glad to be engaging fully again.

  125. P. says:

    For a day or so I could not do any exercise, I could not believe in my efforts, but then I went back to the CD, listened to the exercises and felt the energy and the willingness to start again. I chose the mirror of truth and issues in your tissues and turned the imagery of the blanket of love/wisdom into a body truth exercise. I experienced that it is ok to fall and to stand up again, in a matter of days things can change.

    Happy New Year,

    P.

  126. P. says:

    This is the first time since I started the challenge that I skipped my work. I let the signals from my body discourage me completely. I feel I am working against so much resistance, for such a feeble hope. But the vision of what I want to create is still clear. I might want to spend a few days with exercises that let me just observe my vision, to see if some clue emerges.

    P.

  127. Mandy says:

    Happy Holidays, everyone. I realize that I have not posted in several days. I don’t like to make the excuse that the busyness of the holidays prevented me from being fully committed to my fertile heart work and from posting each day. I have been doing my imagery work each day- although now that I have been out of my regular routine, I have been doing my work at different times than normal. I recognize that this has made it a bit more difficult for me to fully engage.
    I made some green juice this morning for the first time in a month or so, and that felt nourishing and a positive step towards my renewed promise to myself to be more nourishing towards my body in as many ways as I can.
    Looking forward to reconnecting on the phone circle on Monday. Best wishes to you all for a joyous 2011.

  128. MM says:

    Yesterday and today I skipped my practice in the morning, but made sure I then did the sequences two other times during the day. It doesn’t feel beneficial to me to choose to skip it in the morning though. But I wanted to sleep in! I would say my commitment and engagement overall has been very high consistently, but I would have to knock it down a couple notches yesterday. I felt distracted. I started new Guided Imagery sequences this afternoon, from disc 2 of the imagery 2 CD: Cutting the Cord and Gates of Love and Fulfillment. I am doing Elbows First and Soul on Fire Body Truth.

  129. gal says:

    Hi!
    Happy holidays – I have continued my homeplay over the last week – I give it overall a 8.

    On the 20th and 21rst I did the guided imagery sequence “Issues in your Tissues” from the Imagery 2 cd. Gave my self a 7 and an 8 in engagement. Also did “Learning To Ask” from this cd on 21rst with an 8. On the 22nd I did the guided imagery “Mirror of Truth” from Imagery 2 cd. Gave myself a 7. On the 23rd I had a very interesting dream with the same friend from my college years that has come up in the other 2 dreams I have brought to the phone circle. I have wondered if her presence in many of my most important dreams is about her, but I have come to the conclusion she is coming as a representation of me and how I am trusting myself. That day I did “The Land of Haves” from the Imagery 2 cd and gave myself a 4.
    Took christmas eve off. The last 3 days I have done the guided imagery sequences ” Lifting the Burden” and “issues in Your Tissues” focusing on the ovaries. Both of these are as well from the Imagery 2 cd. Ranged from a 6-8 over the last 3 days. I have also been reading one of Herbert Benson’s books about the Relaxation Response and have begun adding this to my day. Sometimes I do a walking meditation as he mentions.

    I am hopeful you are all juicy,
    take care,
    galina

  130. Sharm says:

    Hi Ladies,

    Just checking in after 3 days. It has been much more difficult to keep up with the commitment during the holidays…since I am not in a routine. It has been interesting to observe that. Is the orphan more in charge during vaca than the V? Hmmm. I did the imagery twice yesterday and the body truth once. But the morning imagery of the three frames and cyst free not until the afternoon. The Body Truth of Soul on Fire in the afternoon.
    They are still juicy for me so I am going to continue for another week. I continue to work with the jealous orphan, the one that has no control over time, the one that is so frustrated that this process has been taking so long…over 6 years!
    Robin, thanks for your supportive post. I continue to work on both the orphans (the jealous one and the time orphan) as I think they have been silenced for a long time and have a lot to say. Will be interesting to see how our process unfolds. I have not done my morning imagery yet. I plan on doing it right after this post.

    Happy Holidays to All!
    S

  131. P. says:

    I kept trying to connect with the UM in my exercises – three frames and field of creation. The call for help turned into a series of questions, my orphans were almost angry at the UM: where were you during all these years? I have been receiving many insights and I noticed that practice and regularity were key.

    P.

  132. MM says:

    Did the Guided Imagery and Body Truth today. Feel I’m opening up; orphans emerging; insights appearing. I appreciate the opportunity to be accountable in a way that makes me feel like I’m choosing to honor myself. Thank you Julia, and thank you to the rest of you here.

  133. Robin says:

    Dear Sharm – I admire the way you are working with the jealous orphan and strengthening the visionary. I really liked that. Yay for you! Have a wonderful holiday. I’ve gone to bed earlier at least one night and am becoming conscious of that I share some of your time orphans, I think. Please guide me if you have some good insights.

    Alina – congratulations for doing the imagery and I wish you blessings for the holidays.

    Dear P – I liked “are you safe now” and am incorporating it into my thought processes and congratulations for doing the imagery. Blessings for the holidays

    Dear MM – That’s wonderful to try the new CD and be consistent in the body truth. Have a wonderful blessed holiday.

    Dear Galena – Yay for working with imagery and body truth and for all the work you are doing. Blessings for the holidays if you celebrate.

    Mandy – Thanks so much for sharing body truth. I might try doing soul on fire. Ive been doing Rock the baby. I just felt a need to be comforted.

    Dear All – Many many blessings to you all. I have been doing 3 frames related to the fear of my husband possibly losing his job. I am so thankful he still has one and hope for the best. I believe my visionary is comforting me -saying it is OK to find it challenging. But it is also OK to live fully and be grateful for every day he works. Thank you all so much.

  134. MM says:

    I have been doing The Palace of Truth and Choosing Life from Julia’s imagery 2 CD, Disc 3 as well as The Pillow from The Fertile Female. I am also continuing with the Body Truth sequences, Follow the Longing and Let it Be from The Fertile Female. I did these yesterday 2x a.m. and early p.m. and the same 2x today.

  135. P. says:

    It has been extremely tough to deal with my orphans. In the three frames I saw the visionary turning to the UM and saying “all yours, I need your help and I will follow you.” The intensity was pretty high, perhaps a 9. I felt it was wise to just turn for help and I experienced a relief. I am not doing any body truth at the moment, but continue with the field of creation.

    P.

  136. MM says:

    I worked with the same guided imagery and body truth 2x today but was not able to find a block of time this morning so I several minutes throughout the day where I was able to do one a time. I really tried to focus on the 3 long breaths so that I wasn’t rushing. ( I didn’t have time to do the Soul on Fire body truth so I improvised and did what I could with my eyes open while dancing with my toddler to 70’s music.) Tonight I did have a long block of private time for both the guided imagery and body truth.

  137. Sharm says:

    I have been continuing with the “three frames” imagery from the last phone circle and I can feel the visionary go stronger. Not only is she growing stronger but she is starting to act on things, like getting to bed earlier!
    Also find the “cyst free” imagery that I conceived with Julia very helpful. It is very similar to the imagery on Julia’s new CD with the same name.

    Body truth I will give myself about a 6 today. I am working on the “soul on fire” movement sequence from the body truth CD. Helping me feel more comfortable and at home with my body.

    I find it interesting that several of us on this post our working on the same body truth sequence.

  138. MM says:

    I have been doing the Guided Imagery and Body Truth at least twice a day, taking considerable time, usually in the early a.m. and then in the afternoon. I missed my early a.m. practice today so I did it this evening. It is late. I am not a night person, so morning is much better for me. I did several Guided Imagery sequences from the imagery 2 CD. I have added Soul on Fire to my Body Truth practice.

  139. Mandy says:

    Hello all-
    Way to go on keeping up with your imagery and body truth medicine. It is really nice to have you all here, and feel as though we are in this together. I have successfully done my imagery work each day, twice a day for the past few days. For some reason, body truth has been more difficult. I did do soul on fire last night. I realize I am still a bit “uncomfortable” in my body/feel reserved when I do body truth. Something I need to think about and process.
    Best wishes to you all-
    Mandy

  140. gal says:

    Did my homeplay the last two days – did not day before that. Focused on cutting the cord imagery – pretty good engagement – catch 22 of longing body truth – a 4. Did some open ended bodywork.

    Good night, galina

  141. MM says:

    I’m spending time with the new imagery 2 CD’s, trying to pick and choose the sequences that seem the most apropriate. I like these CD’s so much–the sequences are very powerful–and I haven’t been able to choose yet the ones I want to work with consistently. Today I did Choosing Life and The Palace of Truth from Disc 3.I continued doing the Body Truth sequences from The Fertile Female, Feeling the Longing and Let it Be. I also did a favorite guided imagery exercise that Julia shared on a phone circle a couple years ago that involved colored stones.

  142. P. says:

    Dear All,

    It is indeed very useful to read your posts and report here together. I have been doing the field of possibility and started today the 3 frames. The colors in my images are brighter and the figures and scenes in it more realistic. Sometimes I like to give myself the time to observe what is around me, take notice of the colors and scents and take pleasure in this practice. At the end of the sequences I sometimes have a little insight for an action to take. Today it was to ask myself each time I am scared “Are you safe now?” I feel like I flash back into a time where I was really in danger, but just by noticing that NOW I am safe I feel reassured.

    P.

  143. Sharm says:

    Alina, I can relate to what you’re saying about this time of year. So much to do so little time to get it done! Esp for someone who has big orphan when it comes to time!

    I am reporting in that I did do my cyst free and three frames visualizing last night and just the cyst free this morning and did not do the the three frames until right now.
    I also just did my body truth and I would give myself a 10 for it…really connected this time!
    Instead of coming home and turning on the tv like I usually do I chose to do body truth today.
    Checking in for me has been so helpful as throughout the day I can see very clearly now who is making the choices the O, V or UM – and who I am giving my power to.
    This evening it was the V and it was such a treat!

  144. Alina says:

    As much as I love this month, it is also usually a stressful time with all the holiday prepping. I haven’t been able to be as consistent as I wished the past week. I’m currently traveling and will be back home before New Years.

    I’ve really benefited from practicing three exercises: possibility, the pillow and sacred choices. For some reason, I can cry easily if I watch a sad movie or read a sad story, but it’s usually hard to allow myself to really cry it out whenit something related to feeling or emotion related to my own struggles and pains.
    When I did The Pillow for the first time, I started to cry and I just gave myself permission to let it all out. It felt good afterwards as if my body really processed the emotion. The Pillow is becoming lighter, softer and has a more ethereal quality and that makes it easier to envision it floating away into the bright sunny sky.

    I continue to practice possibility because it is a comforting reminder for me to really believe that a baby is possible for us. The parts of my body that struggles with confidence are my ovaries, and the place of undying belief is in my heart. I feel that my heart has so much to give and I have really asked it to be as open as possible to help guide me on this journey.

    As I struggle to write this entry on my iPhone, I realize how simple it actually is compared to my struggles with conception and nowadays my struggles to get a cycle back.

  145. MM says:

    I have been continuing to do the guided imagery on Julia’s Imagery 2 CD. I haven’t narrowed it down to the specific guided imagery sequences I want to do daily yet. Today I did all of the sequences on Disc 3 to familiarize myself with it.

  146. Sharm says:

    Hi Ladies,

    Checking in from the last couple of days…I did the the imagery with the three screens. The orphan changes every time I do the imagery, it varies from the jealous orphan, to the one that has no control over time to the one that is really freaking mad about her current circumstances. What I find most useful is to see one action that visionary can take to move towards the UM. For instance for the orphan who is late all the time I saw the visionary right down each hour what she wanted to accomplish an that helped her manage her time better. I am going to channel my V and do that..

    I am also working on the imagery I conceived with Julia on being cyst free which has been quite healing for me. The body truth I just did was soul on fire I would give it around a 6.5.

    Last night I could not go back to sleep so I did the imagery in the body truth CD. It brought so much to the surface on my God Father who just passed away. I will post more about the experience on the connections forum.

    Happy Holidays!
    S

  147. Rebecca says:

    I didn’t manage to do either imagery or body truth yesterday – I thought that I would think I’m a failure for breaking the run but I’m relaxed and looking forward to today – I actually missed it. It seems no longer a chore but a ‘sweet’ time for me. There’s a snowflake – enjoying my practise.

  148. P. says:

    Dear All,

    I have been doing the imagery “field of creation” but not “busy being born”. I do not know why, but I could only do one imagery per day. It helps me deal with particular orphans and also to recognize them at various points in the day. And how relaxing to breath out three times before starting the exercise.
    P.

  149. MM says:

    I did the imagery work and body truth p.m. and a.m. I received Julia’s new Imagery CD’s (yea!) and spent a lot of time listening to the new CD’s and doing the new imagery. I mainly did the Grounded in Truth sequences and the Human Game is a Contact Sport sequences.

    –saw your message Robin and did my best to respond.

  150. Robin says:

    Dear MM and all those responding here. Could someone check the message boards under connections and homework and 3 compassionate acts. Someone really needs comfort. Could someone help me with this?

    Thank you so much.

  151. MM says:

    Did the imagery work and body truth p.m. and a.m.Has suddenly become very challenging.

  152. Mandy says:

    I missed my imagery work this morning, but am taking an extra dose of medicine tonight with a few imagery exercises and some body truth… and a hot bath and an early bedtime. Also taking a day off from teaching tomorrow. I started a new cycle and instead of trying to power through and stifle my orphans, I think I’ll give them space to express themselves tomorrow, on a day off just for me. That’s good body truth, I figure. Be well everyone.

  153. MM says:

    I have continued with the Body Truth and imagery exercises yesterday p.m. and today a.m. It’s Day 7 and I’m going to choose some new sequences.

  154. Anne says:

    Wow, it’s been 5 days since I posted. I’ve so enjoyed being back at Esalen, having heart-opening contact, practicing awareness with Cheri Huber, being held with my journey to grow our family. And I’m noticing my Orphan wanting to punish me for not fulfilling this commitment. So I’m particularly grateful for Julia’s follow-up blog post last week.

    So now to renew my commitment, begin again, gently, lovingly, the way my UM wants to guide me.

  155. Rebecca says:

    sticking to my commitment – yesterday I allowed all my orphans out into a playground. I didn’t want to lock them away or shut them up I just let them be. It was liberating. I’m opening up tp body truth but not seeing clear thought but OK with that.

  156. P. says:

    Just finished my exercise, field of creation. I have been doing it every day for the past 4 days, but not always twice a day. I think of Julia’s words that this practice is intended to lead to action. I am thinking of it each time I finish the exercise. I will also start the three frame imagery tonight and spend more time with the V and UM.

    P.

  157. MM says:

    Did the imagery and Body Truth. Same sequences.

  158. Sharm says:

    I did the three frames imagery last morning but did not get to do it last night as I fell asleep before. The orphan who showed up is the one who is sad and upset about her body. She looks drained.
    I also conceived a new imagery around ovarian cysts with Julia which I did last evening and this morning.
    It felt really healing and I am committing to doing for a week possibly two weeks if there is still juice in the imagery.
    I did some rock the baby last evening. I still need to do my morning imagery with the three frames…will do it this am at work.. I also want to start the soul on fire body truth this evening. Will check back in with everyone soon.

  159. mandy says:

    Did my imagery and body truth today- on the day of a new cycle. Feeling down and frustrated, yet closer to my UM because of this work. Nurturing my orphans and my body with a special imagery exercise “prescribed” by Julia, and “elbows first.”
    And here we go again…a new cycle of hope and hopefully lots more gifts.
    Be well, everyone.

  160. gal says:

    oh – also – I felt at an 8 in my homeplay last few days

    this time Big hugs
    Galina

  161. gal says:

    I have been nursing a bad cold. i have been doing my imagery exercises every day. My body truth has been honoring that I am sick and need to stay home from work to get well again. Yesterday I was struggling with it and ended up working all day. Today I did better and did go home in the afternoon. I would typically do better but the angel in all this is how challenging it is at work and I have things only I do and we are on an important deadline. So it was homeplay to see where do I make space for me within this. My imagery exercises over the last few days have been focused on trust. This afternoon I did the 3 frames. I had an orphan show up I have never met before – an adult one who is doubtful – she doesn’t trust life. She does a lot but is always prepared for things to end up hurting her. There was no visionary action – this orphan was not interested in hearing from the UM. She laughed quietly – untrusting – off to bed to take care of myself

    Galina

  162. MM says:

    I have continued doing the imagery and Body Truth exercises, last night and this morning. I also did them this afternoon, instead of tonight. I am still working with A New Beginning and The Pillow. For BT, I’m doing Follow the Longing and Let it Be. I have also added the 3 Frame imagery.

  163. Rebecca says:

    I have managed my imagery every day – sometimes twice. It has given me faith and comfort. I have missed several body truth days. Given the news I got today I need to step up my efforts.

  164. MM says:

    Did the imagery and BT p.m. and a.m. First few days noticed very little. Now, to echo Anne, WO!

  165. Fiona says:

    Wow, This whole blog entry is amazing!
    I’m going to be quite honest here and say that I haven’t checked in with the fertile heart messages board or Julia’s blog until tonight. I wish that I had and would have seen this beautiful commitment to the fertile heart work. I have been keeping up my visualizations over the past 2 weeks but have been struggling with the body truths. It has been harder for me to take time for my body truths these past couple weeks, life has felt a little busier than usual.
    I did my visualization this morning when I woke up and plan on doing it before I go to bed. I usually visualize before I lay in bed with my book while my husband is getting ready for bed. It’s a nice private time for me to do my visualization.

  166. Sharm says:

    Hi Ladies,

    We slept in today…until 11.30am and then had to rush to get to 1am mass. I did my morning imagery “lifting the burden” in church. It was very peaceful and felt like a good place to do the imagery when it was quiet. The burden is very heavy and is a rock with different things carved on it each time. This morning it was jealousy and rage. I fell asleep last night before I did the imagery but then woke up at night and did the imagery when I woke up…

    S

  167. P. says:

    Yesterday I did only one exercise in the morning, field of creation, and nothing in the night. In a scale from 0 to 10, I had a level 6 of involvement in it. I changed my set of exercises two days ago and am now doing busy being born + field of creation. I struggle more with the former than with the latter.

    P.

  168. Gal says:

    Yesterday Did field of creation from the new cd (Awesome CD!) again working with the orphan who is afraid it is not possible for her to concieve again. She did make it to the other side and experience worthiness but she needs to keep practicing this.

    Did out of the trap body truth – did the reach – felt in my head but blank if that makes any sense – afterward thought that birth of first child really awakened my whole body – maybe that is a way to understand body truth more.

    Galina

  169. Mandy says:

    Came home late last night and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed. This challenge, and my commitment to it, led me right to my CD player to do my imagery work. My husband has been wonderful and is doing it right alongside me each night, and that feels very powerful to be in this together.

  170. MM says:

    I did the BT and Imagery last night and this morning. Felt I was rushed last night a bit; got up an hour earlier this morning and really took my time.

  171. MM says:

    I did my imagery and BodyTalk last night and this morning. I am finding that making the time do this this ritually as part of a group/public committment feels very nourishing and nurturing.

  172. Sharmini says:

    Yesterday I did the imagery “lifting the burden” in the morning and did some body movements at work…felt like kicking me feet in the air when I was in the bathroom by myself and punching the air. I was tired at night and went to bed before my nightly imagery.
    This morning I did “lifting the burden” again and when I walk away from the burden I keep seeing the image of myself pregnant this time it was in a green dress and I had two children around me a little girl and boy! I also did the issues in your tissues and I saw a yellow light coming from my belly. I have been having a lot of pressure and pain in my lower abdomen and lower back this week and I found this imagery very compassionate and soothing..like saying I am here, I am listening..

  173. gal says:

    Last night my body truth was that I was exhausted and so I went to bed! when I laid down I was amazed how tired I was all through my body. Glad I was aware enough to feel that. I did imagery yesterday morning – The Gal who was afraid to trust possibility.Saw my 13 year old orphan – so hurt – feeling so damaged. The UM came in to help – it did help some.

    This morning I did imagery – I did it in my car at a park in between the job site and my office. My 13 year old orphan was so enraged. It just hit me so hard when the my co-worker walked into the meeting – she is pregnant by accident.Today it just hit HARD. My orphan was so angry and feeling so like the past that these were not things possible for her. The UM came in and some other supporters. They were able to give some relief. Did another imagery later in the day because it was needed. Invited an image of what that orphan’s life would look like if she let go of the idea there is somethng wrong with her. The wrong became a cloak on her. The most surprising thing is as the cloak and other handicaps holding her back were removed how afraid she was – who would she be?

    Good night
    Galina

  174. Anne says:

    Done! It’s funny, I’m travelling tomorrow (will be calling in from Esalen again), and anxious about my ability to keep up the practice while on the road…and then I read P’s entry, imagine moaning in the bathroom. Right on. This is so much bigger than my embaressment level.

  175. Mandy says:

    My body truth work and imagery exercises have become a consistent routine for my mornings and evenings. I clearly needed this “challenge” from Julia. I did both today, and have been focusing on “Lifting the Burden.”

  176. P. says:

    My exercises today were a bit juicer for the fact that I allowed myself to make variations according to what emerged in that particular moment (maybe I would say 7 in a scale from 1 to 10). I am learning NOT to control images and feelings, am sure am still doing it, but at least I am aware of it. In my usual location (restroom in the office) something interesting happened today. I was silently crying and heard another woman crying too (less silently than me). I stopped my exercise and sent a loving thought to her. Then I resumed my exercise. There have been a lot of tears in my day but tried to look for comfort in the UM more than in food or other hurting behaviors. Still, the struggle is not over…

    P.

  177. P. says:

    I did the imagery exercise “possibility” and the body truth “womb with a view” at an unusual time, in the afternoon, and location, in an office bathroom. But it worked and the fact of sticking to it no matter what made my feeling of responsibility grow a bit stronger. My sequences are losing their strength, which means it is time to move to something else, I am attracted to field of creation combined with busy being born, from the new CD.

    Good night ladies,
    P.

  178. Alina says:

    I have been very engaged in the FH practice the past five days. Julia’s challenge requires me to have some structure otherwise I will slip.

    So I have set up a daily FH routine that is working for me. In the a.m. I wake up, drink warm water with lemon, followed by 20 minute meditation, 1 body truth and 1 imagery. Eat breakfast then go off for a morning walk in the park. In the p.m. I work on 1 body truth and 1 imagery. Also, started a journal to jot down notes regarding dreams and insights from imagery/body truth.

    I had two “landmines” blow up on me this week. I found that my orphans didn’t go into despair, instead I doubled up on imagery exercises and felt that kept me calm and on track.

    Also, my plan is to report on this blog every 5 days. :)

  179. Anne says:

    Wo. I just did the ‘welcome home’ – something’s shaking out from inside me. Wo. Amazing what can happen in 3 minutes. Hmmm.

  180. Suzanne Lang says:

    HI all-

    I’ve been avoiding answering julia’s blog post as i had the feeling of “oh my god, i can’t do anymore”. So, for now I’m going to say that i will do the best that i can but i can’t commit to this completely right now. And, I worry that “maybe i’m not committed enough to having a baby and this community if I can’t”. But, I think that i’m not going to indulge that orphan right now. And say that i”m doing the best that i can and doing the imagery every day and staying in touch with you all. And, that’s good for me for today. And, I am inspired by all of you and Julia!

  181. Sharm says:

    Hi Ladies,

    I did a combination of rock the baby and defend and receive this morning along with the lifting the burden imagery. I also did the issues in your tissues from the new cd and cyst free this morning as well.
    I really enjoyed the issues in your tissues found it very healing and compassionate to listen to sounds and color from your abdomen..ovaries etc.
    I did the “lifting the burden” imagery last night before bed. I keep seeing the image of me being pregnant in the 2nd trimester once the heavy burden is being lifted off my shoulders.

    best,
    SP

  182. Ruth says:

    What beautiful messages from Mandy and Julia! Thank you so much for sharing them. And wonderful to see the participation. For myself, I’m not sure I need another “should” right now, and I don’t have the cd’s yet, but I will do my best to be present, and to participate, and keep reading The Fertile Heart, and to do imageries. You all are inspiring!
    All love,
    Ruth

  183. Mandy says:

    Went to bed last night following the imagery exercise, “Lifting the Burden.” You are brilliant, Julia, for creating such poignant imagery material. This one was exactly what I needed, and I went to bed feeling much lighter.
    I feel renewed by this challenge.

  184. P. says:

    I did my imagery and body truth exercises this morning and kept listening to Julia’s new CDs. They are excellent, wish I had the time and the energy at this time of the night to articulate how carefully crafted they are.
    Good night to all,

    P.

  185. Anne says:

    Yeah. Almost forgot, so tired. I’m settling into BT “Coming Home” and FI “Playground”. I feel positive doing them. Am grateful to be accountable to you all. Faith is a practice.

  186. Maryann says:

    Very inspiring ladies, am enjoying reading your day to day posts. It’s making me more diligent in my own practice so thank you. Keep going!

  187. Gal says:

    Hi all,

    This morning I did imagery of the Gal who is afraid to trust the possibility of conceiving another child.

    Why would I stop because it hasn’t worked so far?

    Did body truth this evening – soul on fire and woman. really connected with woman this time. Image was of me in second trimester of pregnancy. Also really connected in general with sexual qualities of being a woman.

    Good night – sleep tight,
    Galina

  188. Rebecca says:

    Going well, imagery twice a day and body truth every other for 7 days. Have snowflakes falling all around, feeling strengthened and a little more open.

  189. Sharmini says:

    Hi Julia, Mandy and FH Ladies,

    Julia once again your blog post is exactly what I need at this point in my journey. Thank you for challenging us and encouraging us to increase our dedication to this work and ultimately ourselves.

    What struck me most about Julia’s post was the quote “Eternity in a grain of sand”. If I pause a moment to think about it – I see it so clearly! Wow! I also can relate to the fact that when I let go of the UM hand despair sets in almost immediately. It’s been happening quite a bit a lately.

    I have been doing this work for a few years now and I think I have missed one phone circle in that time! Talk about showing up! But at the same time I know I can be a lot more engaging, do the work with more fervor and incorporate it more profoundly in my life.

    So I am in – All IN!
    What better time to get more engaged and do the work with more passion than now – the season of Miracles!
    I have been having quite a bit of lower back and abdominal pain lately that set in after my last cycle and just went it for some further testing. Yet another call from my body and my UM that I need to pay closer attention.

    I have been working on Lifting the Burden imagery that we did in the last phone circle and a version of defend and receive body truth movement with it.
    I did the imagery this morning.

    Looking forward to going through this with all of you that are in!

    Warm wishes from a frigid nyc,
    SP

  190. Mandy says:

    Did my imagery work last night. I failed on my body truth…

  191. Anne says:

    Done! (Is this only day 5?!). As of yesterday, have been playing around looking for a different imagery exercise to focus on for the next 7/14 days(after the white flower). I have just been tap-dancing around the body-truth exercises, still finding the one that resonates most with me, that I want to explore.

    Today I received these chinese herbs from radiantwonder.com, and then had this fear that perhaps my purchase was a desperate gesture, reaching in any/every direction for help. What would my UM say in response to this scared orphan?

  192. Gal says:

    Hi,

    this morning did an imagery of the Gal who is afraid to trust in the possibilities and allow that part of her that feels she can conceive expression. an adult orphan.she did pass to the other side and was instantly in the last trimester of a pregnancy. she is worthy.
    did body truth speak your piece contract and release – noticed the difference in contracting and being stuck and letting go

    good night,
    Galina

  193. P. says:

    Hi all,

    I did my sequences today, the “possibility” one both in the morning and evening and the “womb with a view” only once.

    I started listening to Julia’s new CD, just to get familiar with it, even if I am not doing any of the new sequences at the moment.

    Good night,

    P.

  194. Anne says:

    Barely. Just barely. Grateful to be accountable to you all. I love relating to myself in this different way.

  195. Karen says:

    I’m new to Julia’s work, just finished reading the fertile female, and got the imagery cds and Body Truth, absoluteely love all three. I did the white flower imagery today and the Woman body truth exercise which was incredibly healing for me, my body just gobbled up the attention. There are a lot of mind body ideas out there, but this truly is a wonderful fresh extraordinary work. I feel very lucky to have found this community. Thank you Julia and Mandy and all the other wonderful women posting here!

  196. P. says:

    Hi Julia,

    I am touched by the way you keep reaching out to us to show us the riches of your gift.
    I have started believing that this is truly a rich journey. I renew my commitment to go a bit deeper into my practice. I am grateful for what I was able to do so far and am ready for the next stage. For me something clicked when I stopped doing the exercises with the expectations of the rational mind (“I struggle to express gratitude, therefore the exercise will not work”) and realized that something unexpected always happens in the intimacy of the practice and I too can get all the benefits that I thought were meant for someone else.
    In the last 6 days I have practiced the imagery exercise “possibility” and from today I added the body truth exercise “womb with a view.” This round feels juicer since I feel more creative and I do it less as a duty and more as a discovery. It keeps taking me so long to move from one stage to the next, but this is also part of me, each flower has its own, right time to blossom.

    P.

  197. Gal says:

    Hi
    This morning I did the imagery of the Gal who has blinders on and is stuck in the trauma she thinks defines her. Moved over to the other side and it felt much better.

    Did elbows first body truth this evening. Didn’t quite connect with it? This afternoon though I did trauma work with my therapist and I went in feeling really good in my body and this memory I was working on brought out so much pain in my neck and back and then moved to stress in my legs and arms as well. I am still sore – I feel like I’ve been hit by a mack truck. That has happened before. I guess this is body truth as well.

    Take care and hugs,
    galina

  198. Mandy says:

    Received my new imagery CD in the mail- thanks Julia, for a wonderful “welcome home” in my mailbox after a long day at work. I did my imagery and body truth, and have downloaded all the new imagery exercises onto an ipod (with my husband’s help) so they can be EASILY accessed…something I had not done before this challenge. Best to everyone- its lovely to have so much company on this challenge.

  199. Anne says:

    Done. Why did I have to wait to have this challenge to get exposed to these body truth exercises?

  200. Mandy says:

    Hello ladies-
    I did imagery work and one body truth again today. Thanks to all of you for sharing in this commitment.

  201. Gal says:

    Hi all,

    I’m in – today I did the burden of infertility imagery and the body truth woman – good medicine

    take care,
    Galina

  202. Robin says:

    Dear Mandy and all wonderful companions on this journey.

    I have been doing the imagery every day and appreciate everyone here. Unfortunately right now our computer stopped working and I am using my husband’s work computer. Thank you, Julia for your offer. I am considering it. Right now I need more computer access.

    Blessings to everyone here.

  203. (another) Rebecca says:

    Dear Fertile Women,

    I echo Alina’s comment–“Thanks Julia for kicking it up a notch.”I’m ready to step up. I did “Woman” again today and it feels good to spend 5 minutes on myself every day.

    I am grateful to my unborn child for this gift of space and time. To have the luxury of getting to know myself better first, before getting to know her. I see the gift of learning how to be an Ultimate Mom for myself more and more each day. How cool to have a chance to practice being a Mom in advance…if I can be UM for myself, surely it will be easier to be a UM for my child!

    Looking forward to our next call.

  204. Alina says:

    What an exciting challenge! Thanks Julia for kicking it up a notch.

    This statement in your blog post really resonated with me, “For the Orphan in us opening ourselves up to the Ultimate Mama caliber of Love is more dangerous than running through a minefield. You never know when your foot lands on a landmine and tears you to pieces.”

    In the past month, I have been feeling very close to my Ultimate Mom, her presence guiding me from darkness into light and from despair to inspiration. Then suddenly this week an orphan visited and I felt vulnerable. My heart is more open today than it has been in at least 14 years. Is there a landmine waiting to detonate if I continue on this open hearted path?

    My orphan visit was a gift, to remind me of my commitment to this work, because I feel closer to my baby than ever before. I cannot turn back now even if the road takes me through unexpected detours and possible landmines. The possible rewards are too great to pass up.

    I hear you Julia about the team effort. I’m excited for the adventures to come.

  205. Anne says:

    Hooray, Day 2 – done this morning, just holding off on reaching out to you. Something needs to shift in this program. I became envious when I read Mandy’s husband committing to join her. Time to check in with Kurt and see where he is on this journey.

  206. Mandy says:

    I am here once again today to say that I DID my imagery and body truth work. “Unconditional Gratitute” on the body truth CD. Saying thank you to my body for committing to this work.

  207. Mandy says:

    Julia-
    I was speechless late last night as I read your blog post. I feel extremely honored to have you dedicate a whole blog as a response to my post. Your help is something I simply cannot turn down, and it is healing and warming to know that someone like you wants to dedicate time to me.
    I also wanted to share that I showed your blog to my husband last night and his first response was- “It sounds like you need my help. I want to be more dedicated to this work too. We’ll do this together.” He has been so supportive and our relationship has grown so strong, that I didn’t fully realize up until the time he said it that I really DO need his help with this. I just wanted you to know that this magical little conversation also happened as a result of your reaching out to help me- another gift.

    Initially, my first reaction to your “proposal” was fear of committing to something so grand. Life is full right now with teaching and many other commitments, and my orphans reared their heads and said “I don’t think you have time for this.”

    I am here writing today to say that I hear those orphans, but I don’t think they’re right! I want to commit to a path towards creating this baby that we desperately long for. I am so grateful to have your help on this path- so, THANK YOU.

    I also look forward to helping with your peace project, and believe our mutual commitment to each other for these two grand purposes can be a beautiful thing.

    Thank you, from the bottom of my full, yet aching heart for this beautiful opportunity.

    In Peace,
    Mandy

  208. Anne says:

    Ugh. Day one of this commitment and I barely made it. One of my many orphans is screaming right now. Isn’t there some truism that “the first steps are the hardest”?

  209. Heather says:

    Moving, to say the least. The true gift, based on my experience, is who you become when you commit to this wonderful work. I did and it changed my life.

  210. Christine says:

    It’s all very interesting and I believe it works – I have had times when I feel very enthused about lots of things, and then there are times when I just feel tired and worn out! I think it’s great Julia is guiding people on their journeys. It always amazes me how simple and quick the ideas and exercises are, yet they get right to the root of things and expose the truth then and there.

  211. Robyn says:

    It’s Friday night at the office and I was just on my way out the door, but thought I’d check in on Julia’s blog.

    Can’t believe this post just EXACTLY hit the spot for what I’ve been feeling recently. Thank you Mandy. Thank you Julia. More to come…

  212. Anne says:

    Yes. This is my public commitment that for the next five months I’ll do the daily imagery and body truth practice, check in here once a day with whether I’ve done it or not, and vie with Mandy to be the first to check-in with something I want to work on. And I’ll be happy to help with the peace project.

  213. Anna says:

    Hello Julia, this is Anna (from Belgium). I am moving from loss to love, one day at a time. I will be back with you and the FH community soon. I accept the Ultimate Mom challenge. There is no going back for me, you know, and besides, the benefits of the Ultimate Mom therapy far outweigh the risks…. I am ready to co-create! Love, Anna

  214. Rebecca says:

    Mandy and Julia,

    Thank you both for your posts. I, like many Fertile Hearters I’m sure, struggle just as you have. But being ‘brave’ enough to face those orphans – to own them, is harder.

    I’m committed to the Ovum work yet eat meat, I do body truth but only one sequence, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve drifted off to sleep halfway through my night-time imagery exercise! Julia’s voice is so calming!

    Yet I wake up every morning and promise that today I will be more mind full, more attentive, more in the present, to look for the visionary over my orphans shoulders yet slowly but surely let them wash over me like a tidal wave.

    I promise that one day I will be able to love my self enough to hear my elusive Ultimate Mum.

    Tonight I won’t do my imagery ‘lullaby’ but I will go to sleep with the commitment to be open to my orphans of failure, of lack of commitment and unworthiness. I will think about how I can turn it around and take up your challenge Julia, and although I’m not in the position to continue the Phone circles at the moment I will post here every Monday how I am getting on. Thank you Mandy for giving voice to my orphan and to Julia for stirring me into action. One promise I will make today is that one day I will be able to love myself enough to hear my elusive Ultimate Mum.
    Rebecca



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