How the Money Orphan Hijacked. the “View”
It’s early morning, and I’m engaging, as lovingly and patiently as I’m able to, with my Money-Orphan.
Who is a Money-Orphan? A Money-Orphan, in the Fertile Heart world, is a part of me—and possibly a part of you– that relates to Money in a way that creates suffering. For you, your loved ones, and consequently for the larger human community.
As many of you know, part of the Fertile Heart ™ Ovum Practice is articulating each day what it is that is asked to be birthed through you. Although I’ve known for years, that the Money Orphan has been in charge of my finances, I couldn’t quite gather the courage to poke my head through the door of the orphanage and call her name.
Then some months ago, as I began doing the math for printing t-shirts and launching a new website dedicated solely to the peace efforts, my next birthing assignment was clearly to make some sense of my money-related beliefs. So, I took a deep breath, and said it. Outloud. I’m birthing a healthier relationship with Money. .
As the adage goes, Be careful what you wish for! Or rather in the O-V-U-M world, be careful what you set out to birth. Once the gestation begins, you don’t have much say in what the next incoming-tide-of-creation brings in.
And so a couple of weeks ago, the current pulled in a big old plastic technicolor toy to lure my Money Orphan out of hiding.
On February 24, The View devoted an entire show (I’ve been told that this is not something they ordinarily do so you know there had to be a lot at stake) to one topic: Infertility. I don’t have a TV, but clients from around the country saw the show and sent a link to the entire online episode.
And that’s how the producers of that View segment and every one of the people who participated in it became the perfect midwife for the next stage of my money-madness-birthing assignment.
If I ever wanted proof of how badly the Fertile Heart™ philosophy of becoming our own authorities, is needed in the world of reproductive health, every second of that View episode offered such proof.
In case you don’t want to invest the time in watching the show, here are a few highlights:
A celebrity couple, the 35 year old Guiliana Rancic and her husband Bill, reporting mournfully that the chief problem with their failed medical treatments was – her age. Not that I blame her. It’s what she’s been told by the powers that be. Though I’d love to give her names and numbers of the many over-thirty-five new moms with healthy babies. Better yet, I’d love to sit down with her for a few minutes and see if we can conceive of a more interesting answer for her difficulties.
And another couple, unofficially representing a national advocacy group, telling us how lucky they were that their insurance covered their first three failed IVF treatments. The wife shared that she has been struggling with endometriosis since young adulthood.
I’m all for insurance. I really am. Still, looking at the beautiful young woman and her husband I couldn’t help but wonder what might’ve happened if IVF was not so readily available to them. I hope that now that she ran out of insurance coverage, she will turn to less costly, more compassionate approaches to healing her endometriosis and getting pregnant.
The show also offered an expert’s advice. This expert happened to be one who was recently a Guest on a Fertile Heart Phone Circle, an expert who has known about the Fertile Heart™ work and the multitude of treatment options other than IVF, for many many years. Yet he focused mostly on reminding the viewers about age-related statistics. At some point he turned to Sherri Shepherd, one of the hosts on the show: “If you conceived with IVF once, you will most likely need IVF again.” I would’ve loved to have walked into the studio and handed this expert a recent email from a client:
“I can’t believe that after having had eight years of treatment to conceive my first, I’m normal. I’m like everybody else, I could conceive naturally.”
Toward the end of the show, our reward to sticking it out, was a success story. The backdrop displayed a oversize photograph of a little boy. Minutes earlier, we listened to his self-deprecating dad as he bemoaned his substandard sperm: “I tried vitamins and herbs to improve the quality,”he said, “but it didn’t work.” Vitamins and herbs. Well, what else could he have done but moved right into IVF after that fully holistic attempt to heal himself?
Since the vitamins and herbs didn’t work, the wife endured several years of treatment to conceive the smiling little boy.
Was he conceived with ICSI, I wondered. If so, were his parents counseled by someone like Dr. Sherman Silber, a urologist, quoted in Liza Mundy’s Everything Conceivable, “If the problematic sperm is the one that fertilizes the egg, a boy born as a result will have a chromosomal problem with all his sperm, and will thus be infertile.”
My hope is that the dad will be inspired to seek a more creative path toward repairing his sperm-related ailments. And I trust that the sweet little boy in that photograph will not have to suffer any consequences of the treatment.
But wouldn’t it be great if couples such as this one, would be encouraged to engage in a more meaningful exploration of treeatment options before moving on to a procedure with such potentially risky side effects?
So how is this View episode such a gift for my own birthing process?
No matter how badly I wish to fight it, the truth is that at this stage of our evolution, the human psyche carries a deep imprint of a Money Orphan that says: Money equals Value. The more you pay the more valuable the service must be.
I’ve observed it for years with clients who, although they tell me how much the Fertile Heart™ tools make sense to them, will spend thousands of dollars on repeated failed medical treatment, before committing a tiny fraction of that cost to coming to a workshop or ongoing classes, or even buying a book or CD.
If it costs $15, 000, it’s got to be more effective than the ideas in a CD that cost $18.
This is not a conscious choice. It’s not something most of us have control over unless we begin to compassionately observe it in ourselves; observe how our credit card receipts mirror our beliefs.
So, now that I declared my desire to bring forth a Visionary rooted relationship with finances, I see how most of my life the Julia who has been making expense-related decisions was without a doubt a motherless child
I watch that child agonize over registration fees, and see how she is still the awkward, frightened kindergartner who brought shiny calendar-cards to school, hoping to bribe her way into friendship, into feeling more acceptable. She is also a child raised in a society that viewed money as an instrument of evil. A child of parents who lived in lack as a way of paying for being alive.
That child believes that if she is generous and self-sacrificing enough, someone powerful and grown up will speak up on her behalf. She believes she can make other people care about, what she perceives to be injustice.
Now that I understand all that a little more deeply, I can begin to clear up her confusion. I can show her that there is no fertile money, no tainted money, and no clean money. At this stage of the evolution of our species, money is simply the currency of exchange. And an imperfect currency of power.
Sadly, in the human society, it is right now certainly the Orphan that’s the Chief Financial Officer. In the world of Reproductive Health we’re selling out big time. Whether consciously or not so consciously, the experts of the field must know how much potential harm they’re causing. Very very few of them speak about it. After all, what will happen to their investments in all that state of the art technology, if we discover that we can get pregnant on our own?
Surely it was the Orphan that produced that View episode.
As for me, if I don’t begin to offer my work in a way that –reflects my own respect for this beautiful birthing practice, there is little hope that this healing modality will reach the many people who might find it useful.
Another sobering realization is that I can’t buy anyone’s passion for the causes I care about with money or discounted fees.
But I can continue to pass on what I’m learning about the wondrous adventure of following through on our longings; of discovering what is at the root of our desires. If we can support each other in that exploration, somewhere along the line we might discover that the causes we humans care about most, are the same.
Well, what do you know? 7:25PM. Just as I get ready to dot my I’s and cross my T’s on this post, an email arrives. I don’t recognize the name, but the timing of it surely feels like a nod from the Ultimate Mom:
“I would like to donate some money to your cause. I am a success story and feel that this work is so important in empowering women to take their power back when it comes to their fertility.
Please let me know where and whom to make the check out to.
I have since contacted Jamie, and she responded with another note worth sharing: ,
I don’t mind at all if you use my name. I would be honored. I will put my story to paper soon and send it along to you. Because I am renewing a beautiful and magical practice that I haven’t practiced for a very long time, I will be tithing monthly to your organization for a while. I have been pondering who to tithe to for about a month and then inspiration hit! Universe spoke and I took action.
Thanks again and blessings to you and your beautiful work.
I am about to hire a helper to design our new website focused on the OVUM approach to peace related activism and healthcare reform. Jamie’s contribution will go to a special account assigned solely for the new website expenses. Thank you, Jamie!
How about you? Who’s in charge of your finances? Is it the O, the V, or the UM? Could birthing a healthier relationship with Money and Power be helpful for your baby making journey?