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NYT Infertility Diary: Farewell, Amy Klein, Let There Be Light!

By on February 5, 2014
Julia Indichova

Julia Indichova

Our Fertile Heart Studio is, for many people, the last stop on the baby train. Often it’s their last ditch effort at getting pregnant, after they have depleted their bank accounts and their ovarian reserve. So it’s fitting that my book, Inconceivable made into the last of the weekly entries of Amy Klein’s Fertility Diary.(Thank you Amy!) as she takes off for yet another round of IVF in Israel.

I did get a huge dose of healing from Amy’s entries. Mostly they validated the value of the work I do,  enlivened the rabble-rouser in me, and energized me to ask the awesome moms in our community to support me more actively in our outreach efforts. Otherwise my work will continue to be trivialized as a feel- good-stress- reduction technique or a  “detox regimen” of green juice and tempeh.

Green juice and tempeh are not a bad beginning. It’s just not what the I.B.O.W. fertility practice is about.

Nor is my work about choosing spontaneous pregnancy over IVF or egg donation or surrogacy or any other form of assisted reproduction.

What we do here in Fertile Heart land is a birthing practice. We give birth to babies but before that,we give birth to a stronger, more fertile, more engaged, more co-creative version of ourselves. We use this challenge as an opportunity to awaken to our role as grown up women and men who joined the human race to make a contribution.

So take good care, Amy Klein!

I confess that for now, it seems to me as though you are on your way to be another celebrity spokesperson for the the well oiled machine of the infertility industrial complex. Your favorite novel validates the choices you have made so far. “I would go through it all again, every needle, every loss, every raging hormone, every heartbreaking second, to be here right now, with my beautiful daughter sleeping beside me.”(What Alice Forgot” by Liane Moriarty.)

What would the heroine of your favorite novel say to the women who had gone through “needles and raging hormones and years of hearbreatk” and walked home to en empty nursery and a body ravaged by the process?

Whatever path you take, I also trust that you will keep walking till your reach your destination. My hope is that you will reach it without any further unnecessary suffering. You and I have been born into a wondrous wisdom tradition. One of the first lines in the great self-help book of teachings we chant from every Saturday morning says,

God said let there be light and there was light.

To me that line speaks of the light of consciousness— the light that calls to each of us to feel, think, and act for ourselves, and, as best we can, choose the most life-affirming next step toward the object of our desire.

13 Responses to “NYT Infertility Diary: Farewell, Amy Klein, Let There Be Light!”

  1. Mary says:

    Well written and lived! Julia, as I navigate this “delicious” baby journey, I am beginning to know with my being this Light of Consciousness. I am starting to see the birthing of myself of one that can contribute to the world. Again, I thank the stars that you are an activist for this light. I wish Amy Klein the best, and that one day she may hear the call of the light.

  2. Anna says:

    I have loved reading (and re-reading) this post, and all of the Fertile Mama’s insightful comments. Thank you deeply. I can’t help but be moved by your beautiful ‘light of consciousness,’ Julia — the light that is one of the tenets of the IBOW practice. It guides us toward our best selves and creations. And this light is so healing, too. In our imagery work, so often do we envision ribbons of light moving through us, or we wrap treasured images in healing, golden light. The power of this is truly palpable!!!

    As Amy moves forward in the infertility industrial complex, this light could heal her — make her whole — and prime her for creation.

    My hope is for the light to lead her to the IBOW practice.

    And my hope is for all humans to be open to bathing in this light.

    Thank you, dear Julia.

  3. Hautbois says:

    I have loved reading (and re-reading) this post, and all of the Fertile Mama’s insightful comments. Thank you deeply. I can’t help but be moved by your beautiful ‘light of consciousness,’ Julia — the light that is one of the tenets of the IBOW practice. It guides us toward our best selves and creations. And this light is so healing, too. In our imagery work, so often do we envision ribbons of light moving through us, or we wrap treasured images in healing, golden light. The power of this is truly palpable!!!

    As Amy moves forward in the infertility industrial complex, this light could heal her — make her whole — and prime her for creation.

    My hope is for the light to lead her to the IBOW practice.

    And my hope is for all humans to be open to bathing in this light.

    Thank you, dear Julia.

  4. Katy says:

    Wonderful post. It is so true about birthing ourselves first so we can (as you say) think, act and choose what is best in the moment we are in. This practice as well I feels spreads to other areas in your life other than conceiving a child. I am amazed at how much calmer I am at work;in stressful situations etc. It has been a great lesson that I truly needed.

  5. Openhearted says:

    Julia this is another wonderful post. I am also happy Amy mentioned you in her final piece, but my visionary longs that she could open up to the practice. However, I know those orphans that can get in the way and over shadow any good intention my own visionary or ultimate mom has in store for me. This practice is truly about birthing a mighty birth of one self before the baby birthing experience. Robin you had an awesome comment that I could not agree with more. Thank you Julia for the practice and thank you my fellow visionary mothers who are taking part in this journey with me!

  6. RachelSF says:

    A birthing practice it is! Describing the IBOW practice as ‘Detoxify’ing is very underwhelming. Too bad she didn’t have the courage to try it and birth a new version of herself. But, that might be scarier than flying across the earth to keep searching for experts.

  7. Robin says:

    I love that you call this a birthing practice which is not only for the babies but ourselves. Can you imagine the wonderful world manifesting from such conscious creation? How empowering that is. A world where we don’t have to act out all our orphans. What a beautiful gift to choose the most life-affirming next step toward the object of our desire.

  8. Katy says:

    Wonderful post. It is so true about birthing ourselves first so we can (as you say) think, act and choose what is best in the moment we are in. This practice as well I feels spreads to other areas in your life other than conceiving a child. I am amazed at how much calmer I am at work;in stressful situations etc. It has been a great lesson that I truly needed.

  9. Lori says:

    Beautifully written post Julia.. I am always touched by your words.

  10. heather1975teaching says:

    I truly wish Amy Klein the best. Anyone who struggles with fertility know that this journey is a complicated and ” labor ” intensive one regardless if you give birth to a child or not. The difference in her journey and those of us involved in the practice is that we will be walking toward our child with a greater sense of self- having discovered our personal strength and inner wisdom. Our labor will have resulted in giving birth as well, but to ourselves first and our children later ( whether that’s birthing through adoption or otherwise.)I hope all of us on this journey are filled with light, in whatever form that light takes.



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