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Fertile Heart™ Game Changer: The Question that Counts

By on March 18, 2014

The great poet/philosopher, Rainer Maria Rilke tells us  “to have patience with everything unresolved in our hearts” and love the questions so that we can gradually “live our way” into meaningful answers.

The truth is, we can’t live our way into useful answers unless we ask useful questions.

The question we sing about in this video (filmed after a recent Meeting Your Child Halfway Woodstock workshop) has been for me a decisive question to ask myself when I’m faced with “labor pains” in any of my birthing adventures,  be it a peace project, a book. or a baby.

Is there a question rising up for you at this stage of your pilgrimage?

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80 Responses to “Fertile Heart™ Game Changer: The Question that Counts”

  1. Harmonious Life says:

    This comment is for my practice for yesterday. I haven’t yet done my practice for today. It is seemingly a pattern for me that when my schedule is more hectic (weekdays), I make time for my priorities. When it is more relaxed I mismanage my time. I really need to stay organized!!! But I also need to learn to forgive myself and start fresh when I realize I am not staying the course for the day.

    Coming back to my Friday’s practice.
    Today’s question that counts for me is, how do I let go of fears, and let go of control over outcomes? And establish trust in the higher powers? Trust the intensity of the losing to do the work. And simply go on collecting snowflakes, without ever getting into an “auto-pilot” mode. Continue to be engaged and excited about my pilgrimage toward motherhood, and my pilgrimage with my partner toward parenthood.

    • Harmonious Life says:

      Too bad. I ended up misspelling the single most important word in my comment :(

      Of course I meant “Trust the intensity of the longing to do the work”.

  2. LittleMiracle says:

    Did my imagery practice today and yesterday and notice how easily I allow myself to break my word around the things that matter – I recognise my orphans saying ‘it won’t work’, ‘there’s no point’. The question that counts for me is how to I embrace those orphans and continue to take the actions aligned with what I am committed to, growing the strength of my conviction that this is possible?

    • Harmonious Life says:

      Dear LittleMiracle,

      I want to say thank you for being part of the experiment that Julia created for us! I hope we could connect in future. Know that your insights have helped me, and I looked forward to seeing updates from you. I don’t know if we will continue on this experiment. I want to give it a chance :) It would feel like being on the Miracle Bench again!

      I want to post my first update for this week. I did my first body truth practice this evening. I picked the ‘Unconditional Gratitude’. Thank you Julia for letting me explore it on my own than telling me the answer to my question on the call yesterday. I also picked a new imagery starting today – The Grand Hall of Forgiveness. I am hoping to do two imagery exercises every day, whenever I do the practice.

      Today’s question that counts for me is, am I really committed to give it all it takes? How badly do I want this dream to come true? Can I show that through my actions rather than words? I get prompted to ask these questions again and again when I have had one of those difficult conversations
      with my partner. I do want to convert every pain into labor pain.

  3. LittleMiracle says:

    Did my imagery practice today and am present to the love and extraordinary people in my life. The question that counts for me is how do I remain present and love life now, every moment – instead of living for ‘one day when / if I have a child’? How do I give up that attachment, so there is space for my child to show up

  4. Harmonious Life says:

    I did my imagery practice today.

    The question that counts for me today is, how do I bring myself to be present in the moment? Slow down, take in each moment as it arrives. Be grateful for what I have. To know and sense through the day that I have been the co-creator of many things/events that have happened – or is that all things/events? So that I can take inspiration from this place of knowing, and continue on this pilgrimage with the courage and confidence of an able, happy, fertile to the brim co-creator who is guided by the Ultimate Mom within her.

  5. Harmonious Life says:

    These comment were meant to be written for Monday, and Tuesday. I have missed writing on the blog, but I kept notes.

    Tuesday:
    I did my imagery practice. Today’s question that counts for me is, how do I tune into my Ultimate Mom through the day? And strengthen my inner feelings of courage and freedom.

    Monday:
    I did my imagery practice.

    Today’s question that counts for me is, how do I nurture my body-child as a mother would? Compassionately, and with lot of love. This body has already given me a lot and will keep on giving me more for many years. I want to respect her, treat her well, and listen to what she has to say. I want to follow the mantra Julia taught us – Feel, Think, Choose and Act.

    Watching the Ultimate Fertility Diet video for the second time was helpful.

  6. Harmonious Life says:

    I did my imagery practice today. I picked ‘Room of Fear’ for this week.

    Today’s question that counts for me is, how do I remind myself throughout the day that, God is watching over us, and he has been guiding me all along, I only need to keep my heart open, keep faith in my body, myself, my partner and our actions and that, one day we will have our baby in our arms.

  7. LittleMiracle says:

    Did my practice today and the question that counts for me is what more is there for me to learn before I meet my child? Perhaps there is still something hidden from my view that would make a difference to me and those around me. I am curious and practising patience…

  8. LittleMiracle says:

    Did my imagery practice today. I cried at all the amazing people who showed up in my Circle of Protection. The question that counts for me is how do I open myself up to accept / receive the love and support of others?

  9. Harmonious Life says:

    I did my imagery practice today.

    Today’s question that counts for me is, How do I open space in my life to use fertile heart tools daily, so as to help me create space in my life and body for conception, and more life?

    As Julia says in the Fertile Female book, “What’s important initially is a commitment to regular practice. Your belief will emerge from the practice”. (Page 57, chapter “image by image”).

  10. LittleMiracle says:

    Did my imagery practice and reading today, and the question that counts for me is how alive to I dare to be?

  11. Harmonious Life says:

    I didn’t do my imagery practice this morning and haven’t done it yet. I don’t have an excuse other than just a habit I fall into from time to time of poor time management.

    Today’s question that counts for me is, even after knowing that the stakes are so high, and that the imagery really helps on this pilgrimage, why do my actions not align to take my dose of the real medicine that I need on every single day, twice a day?

  12. LittleMiracle says:

    Did my imagery practice today and the question that counts for me is ‘how do I strengthen my inner voice’

  13. Harmonious Life says:

    I did my practice today. Again, not the best of focus.

    Today’s question that counts for me is, How do I remain hopeful while letting go of control and taking responsibility for my actions? Boy, life is a balancing act!

  14. Harmonious Life says:

    I did my practice this morning and night. Morning practice didn’t have time at home, so did the imagery on my train ride.

    Today’s question that counts for me is, why is it difficult for me to devote more time for my own healing when I sign myself up for extra time doing office work so often with little thought to its longterm effect. I come up with more excuses for putting off part of my healing protocol, sometimes cramming in the last minute, and end up being sleep deprived. I want to create more time for myself and manage my time more effectively, and creatively.

  15. Harmonious Life says:

    I did my imagery practice today. I have been having trouble focusing in the imagery exercise last few times. I almost dozed off more than one time. I need to create more energy for myself and create a more conducive atmosphere prior to doing the imagery.

    Today’s question that counts for me is, How do I choose to feed the bird of faith that sings, “More shall be revealed”, rather than the bird of doubt?
    Bird of doubt asks, why me, why so much suffering, and so on. I re-read parts of the Celestial Gravity chapter.

    I am seeing the fear orphan come up more often last two days. She is fearful of things going wrong. I need to be gentle and compassionate with her. I have been working with the ‘Field of creation’. The quote that struck a chord with me today while reading FF was the one that assures us, that ‘blowing it’ is simply not in the realm of possibility. Every little or big step you take, takes you closer to your longing.

    There’s one voice in my head that tells me to increase the intensity of the imagery exercise, and there’s another that says, stay the course, simplify, one imagery a day is still good. Rather than doing many on a day, then none on the next. I liked Julia’s analogy of a homeopathy drug for the imagery. I also re-read the quote by Hutchinson Murray that Julia mentioned on the phone class about ‘commitment’. I am hoping that the message sticks in my mind.

  16. LittleMiracle says:

    Did my imagery practice today, and the question that counts for me is how do I allow myself to feel the hurt and upset and rage so that I can heal? I feel so disconnected from myself after all these years of trying. Like I am numb – a hamster on a wheel…

  17. LittleMiracle says:

    Did my imagery practice today. The question that counts for me is how do I create the space to be a loving mom when my life feels so busy? What will that look like? Is being so busy in the way of my baby showing up? Sometimes I feel I keep busy to mask the pain and upset. Sometimes I feel I keep busy to hide the resignation that this won’t happen for me – where if it doesn’t that I have a good career and I’m successful at least in this way.

    • mariana33 says:

      I did my imagery exercise today. I’ve been wrestling with two sets of orphans that are very interrelated. Oneset doesn’t think that having “my own biological child” is in the cards for me. The other set of orphans is repulsed by the thought and concept of being needed or needing which has created an ambivalence about motherhood. I’m not really ambivalent about being a mother but being needed and needing are painful concepts for me. I decided to focus on an imagery exercise called motherhood revised. The question that counts for me is how do I reimagine a motherhood that allows me to be a full person that needs and is needed?

  18. Harmonious Life says:

    Did my practice yesterday morning, night, and this morning. Today’s question that counts for me, is: How do I cultivate the patience and faith to get through the rough waters and step into the reality of my dream?

  19. Lori says:

    My questions now is… what do I do now that I am stuck in this holding pattern??

  20. CristyME says:

    HI Julia:

    The question that is burning up for me is what is this journey calling me to do at this point? I was working with this question along with concept of gratitude which we discussed and it helped me step back from my own immediate reality for a minute. It helped me see all the gifts I have at this point and thought who else in my life can I support and walk with. I reached out to someone who I haven’t spoken to in a long while. It felt really good to rekindle that relationship. Thanks again to my unborn child.

  21. Katy says:

    Thinking of the question from the last teleconference: “I’m afraid to engage because…” (and I agree with Veronica) because I am afraid of being judged. I am afraid of what others will say. I am afraid when they hear I will be 40 in November, they will say “tough shit you should of conceived when you were younger!” (which I am horrified to read in the comments section of Amy Klein’s NY blog). It pisses me off when people judge and then I come up with both dukes up ready to fight. That is why engaging is so hard for me at times.

  22. Robin says:

    So this week for the only question that counts, a question that came up for me was Why is my first reaction jealously when a mom friend of mine with many children says she’s trying to arrange a day off a week. Her parents are both living, unlike mine. That probably helps a lot. And if jealousy relates to shame, I’m not sure what the shame is in this particular situation? It caused me to look at how do I spend my time. I’ve been doing Welcome Home Fertile Heart body truth and Jailbreak Fertile Heart imagery. My husband is a statistical analyst and so it just hit me the similarities between that and our holy human loaves. In his job (or at least sometimes) you look at a process to see how you can improve it. You try to look for the things that would have the most impact and see if there’s anything that could be done to change/improve it. If there isn’t anything that can be done, you look at whatever has the next amount of impact. So I’ve been looking at what I’m doing – to see what the biggest obstacles are, then think if there’s anything that can be done about it. Even if there’s “nothing” else that can be done, there is imagery – visualizing it improved/fixed. A focus for me is rejuvination and also my daughter’s situation. Like I could visualize my daughter with all positive wonderful outcomes, etc. I haven’t totally started the doing part, but just thinking about it in this way makes sense to me and is very exciting. To do all with the balance of not overdoing is my goal.

    Blessings.

  23. Veronica says:

    On my quest to better my body, I started up yoga again. In one class, we were in a genie-like pose for three poses, the first time, my yoga teacher asked us to send ourselves peace. In the second pose, she asked us to send someone we know peace, then the third pose, she asked us to send peace to the world because we surely need it.

    Then she said “peace comes from within”. I’ve heard it before but it struck a chord in me after physically and mentally sending out peace. I was brought up to always give and think of others, and forsake myself. So the question has always been, “do I deserve to have a baby?” I felt that it was ok to want things for myself and to give myself permission to learn and feel peace (love, compassion, happiness, longing, etc), in order to continue meeting my baby halfway.

  24. Veronica says:

    Hi Julia,

    I hope I am here on the correct webpage.

    On tonight’s call, you talked about engaging in relationships, engaging on Facebook. You had us ask ourselves “I’m afraid to engage because…” and the answer that came up to my mind is “…because I don’t want to be judged”. I don’t want other people to know what I’m going through and think “oh that’s why she’s not able to have a child”.

    • Lori says:

      Veronica, I completely understand how you feel. I often thought that if people I know see that I’m active on Fertile Heart, they will wonder, “What the heck is she doing?? She’s single and old!” But now, I don’t care who knows or who reads it anymore. I am living my truth and meeting my baby halfway is way more important that anyone else judging me.

  25. Lori says:

    Maybe the hardest question (at this point for me) is.. “what is this negative pregnancy test teaching me? Which Lori is it trying to birth?”

    • Sending much love, Lori and hope I and the circle can be your midwives in this next birth. Sometimes the toughest questions bring the most useful and most urgently needed answers.

  26. Openheaeted says:

    Lately I feel like I’m too busy. I feel the need to simplify but then I can not give anything up because I feel I need it? I am also asking lately am I lazy or truly letting go. For example, Not making time for imagery twice a day 4 days out of the week last week, having a glass of wine, eating a little bread or sweets. I feel like when I stop trying to be perfect I over indulge.
    I also keep asking myself how long do I do these teleconferences for, when do I stop them. When do I know it is time to move on? I always connect with the calls on multiple levels, but there is this F*** It orphan hanging out lately.
    Lots of questions are popping up lately.

    • T., some people have done the calls for as long as 4, 5 years before they conceived or met their child in any other way, but you don’t need to be on the calls to do the practice. Many of the Moms no longer actively participating in our community write about how useful the ideas and the tool s are in their life. They may not do imagery every day but it’s there when they need it.
      So for you stopping might be a way of getting unstuck and discovering what you need and whether you’re doing the imagery and just going through the motions because you feel it’s part of the “homework” for the calls, or are you doing it because it’s a source of revelations and it supports your growth and fertility in the deepest sense of the word.
      It’s great that you connect with the calls on many levels but what might be happening is that you feel being on the calls means doing the practice. Being on the calls is about being in relationship. Which is the most terrifying thing for the O’s in us. The calls are really about supporting your practice and receiving guidance from me when you need it and supporting others through your presence and engagement. It’s about community. That may not be what you need or are looking for right now. And that’s perfect. Maybe, for now, you have gotten all you need to get from this practice.
      Another possible question that might be useful to ask is, Why is it such a F****ing Orphan that’s showing up? Why isn’t it okay for her to show up? The “appearance of an O is a call for celebration in this work. How else would the UM in us know where to focus her love and attention? Who is this O? What is she asking for that’s so frightening to hear?

      • Openheaeted says:

        Thank you for your insights. After posting this I really worked with this orphan and found she stems from a place where dictating her wants or needs was never an option. Also if this orphan did state her desires guilt, shame, or not being heard/listened too insued.
        Thank you again for answering my question as my orphan of the moment is the not being heard/recognized.
        T

  27. Lori says:

    This beautiful journey is the most wonderful work I’ve ever done. But when my orphans are acting up as they are today (fear, ANGER, it will never happen) I think it would be so much easier if I could just remove the desire from my heart. Is it even pssible to give up the heart’s desire when you so desperately want it? Is that orphans running wild?? Where would that leave me?

  28. Annabel says:

    Today’s question that counts, regarding physical rejuvenation: When i think about physical rejuvenation my mind goes straight to juicing, food, exercise. But what about how our mind affects our physical wellbeing? The tightness I feel in my belly when stress rises up, or an orphan cries out loud. The sense of physical exhaustion/depletion I feel in a stressful situation. Some of these situations are unavoidable, but how can I find a way in which they don’t deplete me physically?

  29. Annabel says:

    Today’s question that counts (regarding physical rejuvenation) is how can I really learn to listen to my body and what it needs, rather than go with what my head tells me it ‘ought’ to be doing. My tendency is to over-push, but I’m pleased this is starting to soften and I’m learning less can be more. For example, this morning the ‘old’ me would have forced herself out of bed to get to a strong early morning yoga class, but the ‘evolving’ one slept in and did a few yoga poses at home instead and I feel great now. May I keep tuning in more and more, not just to help me create a baby, but also as a really valuable tool to use for the rest of my life.

  30. Robin says:

    During my practice a question that came up was “Why do I have to do everything right? So then I worked with that. If I don’t do everything right.. my daughter might not be OK. If I don’t do everything right my child may not show up.

    The orphan here is the orphan who says “You have to do everything right.” What a set up because, being human I am not perfect so of course I will not do everything right. Can I forgive myself my human imperfections and maybe there will still be enough snowflakes.

  31. Katy says:

    The question I continue to challenge myself is: Can I continue to allow myself to be vulnerable
    in this work to meet my child halfway. When I look up vulnerable it says ” to be susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm”. Yikes! that does bring an O out for me. However I want to continue to allow myself the scary(for me)moments that allow that O more healing.

  32. Robin says:

    Wonderful work and questions KN.

    A question for me -Can I balance the needs of my daughter academically and emotionally with taking care of myself? I’ve had several fearful days with orphans at the wheel, but today feels pretty good.

    Blessings to all.

  33. Rabia says:

    The more I have thought about it, the more I am ‘letting’ my challenges be a gift and a blessing.
    I am moving from thinking about the practice from the top looking down, like something I have to get through, to something I want to immerse myself in because I really am enjoying it and its not something which makes me feel uncomfortable or as though I am becoming desperate. In fact by not doing this I am desperately clinging on to a reality which is not mine and can only keep me back.

    I am not fighting this immersion anymore out of a fear of not wanting to be one of ‘those people’ and just wanting to blend in with everyone else and follow the same paths to a child that everyone else seems to have.

    I have seen glimpses before of the kind of person I want to be and have wanted to be even without the baby coming into it. I have seen glimpses of the mother that I want to be and without this practice and uncovering and letting out the mother that I want to be and letting her show herself I don’t think motherhood will be as joyful for me.

  34. KN says:

    OK Julia, you gave me an “assignment,” and I’m up for the task. :) Why am I doing this practice? The obvious answer is to have another child and taking medications/doing assisted reproduction makes me uncomfortable. But that’s not the whole answer. This practice just feels right. So I am doing this because I know I need to. I need to switch tracks because if I don’t, I won’t have the life I want for me or my family. I haven’t always had an easy life, and I have many orphans that have been around so long I can’t remember a time without them. What you said the other week really hit home: If I don’t heal myself, I won’t be the mom I could be to my yet-to-be-born baby or the children I do have now. I need to heal myself before I can be the mom I want to be. I need to start over, to be reborn and birth who I want to be. That’s why I’m doing this.

  35. Robin says:

    Wonderful work Anabel, Lori and Miraclehope.

    I am doing Elbows First Fertile Heart Body Truth and Fertile Heart Field of Creation (modified from Imagery 2) with my fear and overwhelmed orphan. I am trying to be a better mother to myself – pausing and asking myself what do I need?, what am I feeling and doing my best to mother the orphans that come up in the most meaningful way. One exciting thing is that my daughter has started to share some dreams with me and I have helped her use some of the Fertile Heart tools for dreams to see if she can help herself hear the Ultimate Mom. I hope in some small way that can help her on the path to emotional healing (or at least a stronger state). The question I have is how to be the best loving mother to myself while retaining balance with my daughter and her needs? This is exciting for me, though.

    Blessings to everyone.

  36. Miraclehope says:

    Imagery: Did circle of protection twice (night with husband). The unhappy orphan turned into happy visionary, yay !!
    Didn’t do juicing, did 5min dance, no walking.

  37. Rabia says:

    Do I have the guts or the ability to walk the trail of truth?
    Am I strong enough and good enough like those in the video?
    I feel like I have this inside but I need to give myself permission to become this person.

  38. Miraclehope says:

    ImagerY: Circle of protection only once at night along with my husband (orphan resisting to receive happiness, stubborn orphan that kept liking being unhappy whatsoever :-((( )
    did juicing, 1 hr walking. no aerobic exercise

  39. Miraclehope says:

    Imagery: circle of protection twice (night along with husband)
    7min fertile dance :-), felt so good moving my body, 30min walk
    did juicing

  40. Miraclehope says:

    Imagery: Circle of protection @ night along with my husband
    1 hr walking, juicing. no aerobic exercise (had bad head ache).

  41. Miraclehope says:

    imagery: Mirror of truth in the morning & meeting my child halfway in the evening only by me
    1hr walking, 1min aerobic exercise, no juicing

  42. Miraclehope says:

    Imagery; Meeting my child half (did separately @ night)
    30min aerobic exercises (incl 5min kick bxing)
    did juicing

  43. Miraclehope says:

    Imagery: Mirror of truth in the morning, meeting my child halfway (together)
    Body truth (elbows first), 1hr walking, no juicing

  44. Miraclehope says:

    Imagery: We both did mirror of truth in the morning (separately) & meeting my child halfway together
    Did 1 hr walking. No juicing no dance for today.

  45. Lori says:

    Questions for me for today.. “why am I saying no to what I want?” “How do I create space for the love I am trying to cocreate?”

  46. MiracleHope says:

    just did mirror of truth in the morning by myself. Didn’t get to do imagery in the night.
    did 1hr walking & 5min dance. both of us did juicing.
    We plan on starting meeting your child halfway from tomorrow evening.

  47. Miraclehope says:

    Imagery: Did mirror of truth twice (Night with Srini)
    lots of walking and did my dance :-)

    i did juicing last 2 days but couldn’t do it today.

  48. Miraclehope says:

    Imagery: Mirror of truth imagery twice, & with my husband @night
    5min dance
    1hr exercise
    5min dance

  49. Annabel says:

    Today’s question that counts:
    How can I let go of trying to control the things I cannot control? This question arose when I realised I was feeling tense about whether or not I will be ovulating when I see my partner next weekend (we are in a long distance relationship so timing can be tricky…) and worrying that it might happen later or earlier than usual (as sometimes does) this month. Of course I cannot control this, so can I learn to relax around what is happening, rather than building up a load of tension inside me, which doesn’t help me, or change anything.

  50. Annabel says:

    Yesterday’s question that counts:
    I notice that in the last few days I have been distracted, in a good way, by other things in my life. Subsequently I haven’t felt as ‘desperate’ for a baby, as I’ve been more able to enjoy the here and now. Which is great. Yet at the same time I’ve noticed how my level of commitment to my practices has waned a little. So my question is can I find that right level of balance between completely being in and appreciating the here and now, while at the same time staying very committed to my longer term desire of having a baby and staying committed to the steps that I trust will help me walk towards my baby?

  51. Miraclehope says:

    I did white flower imagery in the morning (mainly bcoz i didn’t have time and instead of skipping i wanted to do something small but helpful)
    I did mirror of truth in the night. i will do meeting my child halfway with my husband tomorrow. i asked him to go through introduction and the imagery couple of times so that we can work together from tomorrow.
    i did 1 hr walking and did 10min strength training kind of exercise, tried something different.

  52. Miraclehope says:

    I did imagery only at night, 1 hr walking, 10min aerobic exercise. I am getting dreams but can hardly remember.

  53. Miraclehope says:

    I did imagery in the night and did my 5min dance. Man what an experience !! Thanks Julia. I will add details on what I felt in the forum

  54. Annabel says:

    The question that’s coming up for me today is can I learn to be less thrown around by the information I receive? For example I receive some ‘good’ news (eg a lowered FSH) and suddenly I am convinced this means I will be pregnant tomorrow! Fast forward a few days and I get some less ‘good’ news and now everything is catastrophic! I am never going to get pregnant, this is it. Etc. etc…Can I learn to find a steadier middle path?

  55. Miraclehope says:

    I did imagery twice, body truth, juicing, & walking for 30min

  56. Frida says:

    Hi Julia,

    My question of today is: “Not thinking everyday of the child I want so much, weakens my longing to get pregnant?”. I have a hard time at my job and I can’t think so often of my baby, because my mind is busy with work…

  57. RachelSF says:

    (I love this new look and feel. I thought I wrote a comment the other day, but I don’t see it here)
    My question today is how to continue to lead my life from a place of compassion for myself and for others? Today this stems from some strangers saying negative things about my brother in law in public forums, but it also happens in the fertility journey with doctors trying to do their best, but being insensitive and hurtful. Can I have compassion for everyone b/c we are humanoids not perfection.

  58. Frida says:

    Hi Julia,
    As you asked in our last call we had on Monday, I’m writing here me question of the day: “What do I have to change in my current “healing protocol” , in this stage of my pilgrimage, in order me to become pregnant?” I guess it is a visionary question ….

  59. ThinkPositive says:

    Hi Julia,
    I just listed to the video again, after being myself away from our community for one month, and for the first time since i started to get to know you and the OVUM tools i feel that yee…perhaps it is a gift…
    For sure it is a gift to my daughter as the journey makes me a better mommy every day. But maybe it can be a gift to R as well. Slowing down now. If it is a gift–i need to accept it and learn to appreciate it.

  60. Anna says:

    “When we choose to walk the trail of truth,” our longings in our hearts are gifts —
    This video fills me with peace, hearing Julia’s beautiful voice, and those of the Visionary Mamas and Papas at that particular workshop — it brings back to me those incredible moments in Woodstock, where my eyes and heart opened…where I learned to call and meet my child, with eyes wide open.
    My question is: how do I keep my eyes wide open, trusting my Ultimate Mom who holds my hand, who soothes the fearful Orphan, in every juncture of my trail of truth?

  61. happy_swirl says:

    Lots of orphan-rooted questions are popping up for me…Why is it SO painful?? Am I getting any further in getting the truth? What if I never get the truth? Does Truth=Baby? I live in hope now, but what if I never get the baby? It would be hard to think of it as a blessing, and I certainly don’t want to think of it as a burden, bad luck, or punishment. This is a great work, Julia! The slideshow at the end is very powerful and touching, it almost breathes a new life in you! Thank you for posting!

  62. tanja says:

    What a lovely way to soothe the cross orphans inside of me – the ones that make stormy times a misery and add nothing useful to my willingness to experience the truth I find within. These are the orphans that say I am not allowed to feel x and it’s bad to feel y, I ‘should’ feel this way and I ‘should’ respond that way. The song is a lullaby which I hope I will remember in stormy times when I could use compassion and comforting – I intend to sing it to myself when walking past the sweet little nursery school where the kids are currently playing underneath beautiful flowering cherry blossoms.

  63. CristyME says:

    I also love and really appreciate this video. I thank you Julia for including the video in this blog which is such a powerful medium. You project such wisdom and confidence as you sing it give me hope. Hope to trust myself and keep walking down the path. Hearing the voices of the other fertile mamas and daddies helps me realize that I am not alone in this journey. The question that keeps popping up for me is What is My Gift? I think that the journey has given me certain gifts already but I sense that there is a gift which I don’t see yet or quite understand.

  64. Frida says:

    Great song, simple and powerful in the same time.
    The questions that are rising up for me are: “Is it my longing intense enough to make the difference ?” “If my body is the physical expression of my soul, then what is missing in order my body to respond to my longing?”

  65. Robin says:

    Dear Julia,

    A wonderful video! Life is a gift and a blessing whether it is in a newly arrived person or ourselves or others. Thank you so much. The question for me is what is my next best step toward my child. Also, how to connect to my visionary more so the tumultuous times can be can be more of a gift than a derailment.

  66. heather1975teaching says:

    These questions popped up today and have been playing over and over in my mind. How do I keep my faith strong? How do I nurture that orphaned part of me that says, ” It won’t happen for you.”?

  67. MiracleHope says:

    Hi Julia
    I was quite stressed when I added my comment today morning and those were the questions at that moment. After doing imagery in the night, the question that arose in my mind was on “forgiveness”. how can I cultivate the habit of forgiving and on top of it providing support to myself, my baby or anyone else who is associated with me? I am terrible as I can’t forgive and forget the mistakes whether those are made by me or anyone else. I have a dire need to learn forgiving. How do I do that is my question?

  68. Katy says:

    The question does change throughout mu journey. The question rising up for me now is: what do I need to do now, if anything? (and not medically speaking) more of a question to my ultimate mom.
    I randomly start singing your other song at night sometimes “I want to read you a bedtime story” and right now it is to my dogs but they seem to love it too :)

  69. MiracleHope says:

    Will there ever be a day when I see myself as pregnant & a baby in my arms? How much more patience do I need to stay grounded? What is the missing piece of puzzle that is not allowing me to get pregnant? What else is my baby expecting of me? I am tired and worn out at times and my mind is filled with a myriad of questions.

  70. RachelSF says:

    I love this video and the song! Joe says he loves the message as well. I sent the link to some friends who used the word ‘birthing’ for their new work project, and they loved it too. Thanks for sharing this song with us.

  71. heather1975teaching says:

    I weep every time I watch this. The tears are a mix of sorrow and happiness! I simply love this song. I sing it to myself every morning on my way to work. It reminds me that ultimately my longing is a gift. I love the collection of pictures at the end but the one that really gets me is the black and white of the young couple with their newborn in the hospital bed. I just pray that one day I will have a picture of myself just like it. The question(s)rising up for me at this stage of my pilgrimage are those ones no one can answer. How long do I have to wait? Why is it so hard? Why can’t this happen for me like it does for others? Very Orphan rooted questions for sure. Thank God for the imagery. Love these songs Julia-thank you for sharing them.



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