In the last couple of years, the NYT Fertility Diaries, has done a great job on mirroring how easy it is to get sucked into the black hole of the Infertility Industrial Complex.
Consider this entry on prepping for another round of IVF, titled, New Year, New Round of I.V.F., New Attitude. In this chapter of her story, Amy Klein has engaged the counsel of an energy healer. Worth reading if only to recognize the helpless kid within so many of us, that hopes to be saved by the Magical Other.
While becoming aware of our beliefs about motherhood, as suggested by Amy’s healer, can certainly be useful, Klein’s piece reminds me of my own aha moment 20 years ago when I finally realized that giving away my power to “great healers” in Chinatown who would do the fixing for me, was not much different from giving away my power to the fertility specialists on Park Avenue.
Here is a short paragraph from The Fertile Female on this very topic.
As I see it this is what doctors and healers are meant to do for us.
“Engaging consultants, whether they be physicians or acupuncturists or therapists, can be eminently useful as long as you don’t see them as anything more than your esteemed consultants and you don’t leave yourself out of the equation. The word “doctor” means “teacher.” In the best of all worlds the task of these helpers is to teach you to read your symptoms, to help you understand the workings of the remedies they offer, and to show you how to collaborate with the intelligence of your body. Their task is to encourage self- trust.” ( From the “The Authority Vested in You” chapter of The Fertile Female)
Amy Klein’s next I.V.F. may or may not work. The troubling part is that she is missing the opportunity to model for the millions of readers of her diaries the one precious lesson in fertility that could make all of us and our common home on this little planet, more fertile: the power to create change in our bodies
and the world is in our hands. The incoming generations need mothers and fathers who will claim that power and use it to speak up on behalf of the children they so fervently wish to bring here.
How and to whom have you given away your power on your baby making journey?