Fertile Prayers: Boston Bombing, Orphan Rage and Visionary Anger; Parenting for Peace 
Rage, rage if I send you away, you’ll be back another day…That was the chant we sang in our Fertile Heart Visionary Mama teleconference yesterday as we talked about the anger and rage that is rising up for many of us on this scenic road to motherhood. The silenced, raging Orphan that finds a way to act her truth in spite of all our intentions at positive thinkging and affirmations proclaiming our love for ourselves and our neighbors. We talked about the difference between Visionary-rooted anger that moves us toward being our own strongest allies and destructive Orphan-rooted rage.
Then in the evening I heard about the awful devastation of the Boston bombing. Bombs loaded by human hands aimed to maim other humans.
I’m thinking about the Richard family losing one child, the other losing one leg, Jeff Bauman at 27, losing his legs!!!
Oh, it hurts, it hurts to see what we humans are doing to one another. I’m hurting and I’m scared and I can’t help but ask: what are these horrific events asking of me; asking of all of us current and future parents? Where are we going to hide our children to shield them from harm?
Are prayers enough? How do we raise children that will co-create a safer world? How to we show them a different way of experiencing rage? Teach them to channel it into life-enhancing creations?
Doesn’t it have to begin with stepping into the war zone of our own hearts? Not that it’s something I always willingly do, but I’m always amazed at how much energy gets freed up, when I finally face that tantrum throwing little girl wailing to be heard.
Which of the I.B.O.W. tools could be helpful with the warring factions in our lives so that we don’t have to act them out with our loved ones or radiate the rage into the cosmic soup?
What are the battles you’ve been waging lately?
How have they found expression in your behaviour?
What is the raging child inside you asking for?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and hear how we can support each other in moving not only toward a more peaceful fertility journey but a more peaceful human adventure.
With love,
Julia
A beautiful and inspiring post as always, Julia. I got chills when I read the sentence about stepping into the warzone of our own hearts. I have done that with the tools, not willingly, but I always learn so much when I comfort that scared orphan. I espcially love your post that begins “You must love the hater in you…” Sometimes it’s difficult to know what to do with the hate inside of us. Thank you for your beautiful work and all that you do!
Dear Julia,
I have definitely been working with my raging orphans, and noticing that stuffing my fear, doubt , pain, and anger often leads me to express my rage at times toward my spouse or just feel internally frustrated. I also notice this when working with clients. It appears thier anger is often masked by extreme guilt, shame, or fear.
I have been working with “Ladder of light” Fertile Heart Imagery 2 disc 1 and guided meditation on Fertile Heart Body Truth. Some quotes that resonated in me while listening to the Fertile Heart Body Truth cd Introduction – when in our journey we come to point to make a change or decision, come to that decision as the next birthing rather than defeat or giving up! This was so eye opening to me as per fertility doctor we have been advised to go straight to IVF with pregenetic screening, however, when discussing this with my spouse we both feel like we are giving up or defeated if we stop trying on our own and go straight to IVF not that we would not choose this, but right know this how we feel about it.
I had this really interesting vision come to me after reading the blog in regards to rage.
I was looking at everyone as a flower in a garden, trying to grow with the essential nutrients of food, water, sun etc. I then envisioned the set backs a flower goes through from time to time such as drought, hail, high wind, and disease/fungus. To me it seems we’re all just flowers trying to grow and evolve into the beautiful beginnings we were created to be. However, sometimes the incidents or issues that happen to us along the way cause our growth to stop or vear off course until we can find healing and peace, and some flowers need more help or guidance that is not recieved or overlooked leading to the demise of the flower or as a person negative behaviors toward others.
Beautiful writing Julia,
Tara
“Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.” ― Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted life.
I feel that peace and changing the world are heart to heat, person to person actions. Ultimately a change within us will affect our environment and everyone around us. I have a lot more peace in my own heart since starting the IBOW work and giving a voice to the raging, hurting orphans who’ve been straining to be heard. As I become kinder to myself I am able to be kinder to others in a much more sincere way.
During the last European Visionary Mama’s phone circle we practised “All of Me, All of You” (Fertile Heart Imagery II, disc 2) focusing on our partner. During the exercise I clearly saw how much my husband has done to heal himself, support me to heal myself and to move together with me along our baby journey. I was so moved and something changed something deep inside me. Later I was about to start practising the Body Truth exercises that Julia had recommended to me that night when my husband came into the room. As irritation at being interrupted began to rise, the visionary in me stepped in and chose to welcome him. We did ‘Welcome Home’, ‘The Orphans’ and ‘Unconditional Gratitude’ from the Body Truth CD together. It’s not easy for my husband to open up and do this kind of work so I was blown away with love and gratitude for him! That night I slept 10 hours which is something I never do. We now do the work together as many nights as possible. I’ve been sleeping well ever since. A deep, peaceful sleep.
How wonderful, Kay, that you were able to engage with your husband from the Place of the V rather than letting the O take over. Congratulations on a major snowflake!
I realized that my first response to events like the Boston bombing is a sort of numbness. After the first couple of days, I was able to take it in more and feel more feelings of sadness and anger. My husband, a Boston native, seemed to head straight into those emotions without the period of numbness. Having so much family in Boston, I do have faith that the city will come through with love and tenacity. I’m most sure how to address the rage so prevalent in the world, because it feels so huge and overwhelming. I guess for now, I hope to continue to help with addressing my own rage and to teach my child how to accept and work with hers.
For our homework of listening to the fertile heart body truth cd introduction, I felt struck by the bit about healing being a pilgrimage. My orphans constantly want to know “if we’re there yet”. I also realized that my intention going into exerciss is often as a “judge” wanting to fix myself and not as someone checking in on a baby in a nursery.
I love this, dear LSG: “listening to the fertile heart body truth cd introduction, I felt struck by the bit about healing being a pilgrimage. My orphans constantly want to know “if we’re there yet”.”
Dear Visionary Mamas,
Dearest Julia,
Something incredible happened, I had to experience that my doctor is a human being as well, as I evoked the orphan aspects of him. He was quite upset why I do not trust him. Thinking of the situation, I would rather say, that I have doubts in myself, that what he is doing works for everyone except for me. And I look for evidence why it should not work for me, and of course I find it.
I wish so much to have 100% confidence and not working against the process. I would love to work on it during the teleconference tomorrow.
Emma
Yes, Emma, the Orphans are always looking for the validation of their reality. How wonderful to be able to start seeing it for what it is!
When I heard about the bombing and the resulting deaths and injuries, I was sick to my stomach. These things only happen in other countries, not ours. Experts have been warning us for years that this would happen eventually, and then one day, it happened here. I wrestled with many orphans those few days. I first had an angry orphan to deal with, but then the fearful orphan took center stage. Was I being irresponsible and selfish, wanting to bring a child into this violent world? Would I ever know a moment’s peace if I did, worrying that my child was at the wrong place at the wrong time? As I watched the images and news coverage over the next few days, a strange thing happened. I started focusing on the heroes and the overwhelming show of support that the people of Boston showed to strangers in need. The people that ran to the fallen, despite the threat of potentially more bombs. The gentleman that lost both of his legs just coming out of a surgery and wanting to tell the police who did it. The police wrapping this case up in record time, bringing the suspect in as the people cheered. I felt very proud of this country. If I had a child I think I would point out that bad things do happen, but look at the heroes that showed what they were made of on that day. Average people doing extraordinary things. Maybe there is some hope for us after all…
Hello everyone!
Thank you, Julia, and thank you everyone for being here.
Some of the quotes that caught my attention from the Fertile Heart Body Truth CD introduction are
– consider the inner authority to distinguish between helpful and not helpful.
– how do I increase my energy?
– the Ultimate Mom will always point us in the right direction.
– consistent patient attention.
I have been doing Elbows First Body Truth CD and 3 Frames (All of You, All of Me) imagery from the Fertile Heart Imagery CD 2. There are many orphans needing a voice.
Blessings
Boston bombing ….a very disturbing event ! I just feel that people are getting mentally SICK every where in the world. We are hearing hopeless rape cases back in India, off late a 5 yr old girl has been brutally raped. It causes a lot of pain and fear. I am not safe, how can I ensure the unborn child can be safe in this world? Can I save the baby once he/she is in? I then started feeling, do I need a baby? May be life is good as is. Very weird random thoughts keep popping up. What is confusing me the most is whatever composure I gained last yr to take care of my body child has gone topsy-turvey. My orphans are only concentrating on work. I started to have a very jealous orphan, an orphan that feels incompetent, an orphan that is hankering for getting recognized. These thoughts are very much pestering. I have been doing “Council of babies, Disc3, CD2 fertile heart imagery” and have been doing out of the trap body truth exercise. Currently what worries most is about my longing. Do I have the longing to desire for a baby is my biggest question? I never thought I will even think about something of this sort. I am perplexed. I am speaking more with my friends, checking facebook profiles to see if that causes any pain, but i’m fine. Do i need a break from all this? What is this state of mind? So many unanswered questions.
Madhu
What a good question Madhu. The courage to feel a longing…it does take courage to feel a deep longing for anything. Certainly takes courage to long for a child. I look forward to exploring some of this on Monday. Really good questions!
Hi Julia,
I don’t know how we can create a safer world. But I think it begins with acknowledging our own rage and having compassion for ourselves. Rage and anger are normal human emotions, but they are also (in my opinion) covering up much deeper emotions, like fear and pain. When I am angry and allow myself to fully feel it, the anger quickly transforms into a deeper truth – I feel profound grief and/or fear. Whenever I open up and feel those deeper emotions, my anger suddenly fizzles out. It’s like a sword that falls to the floor when I stop fighting and instead attend to my own wounds.
Perhaps we can help our world by embracing our own pain and vulnerability and, in turn, give others a safe place to be vulnerable. We are all suffering in one way or another. Can we reach the angry young man before he harms others? Can we give him a place to rage, cry out, or grieve so that he doesn’t want to hurt people? I don’t know. But I know that we can give ourselves a safe place to feel our own feelings. Perhaps if enough of us do that, the waves will ripple out and reach those who are suffering the most.
Sound good to me Jessica, let’s keep sending those ripples of awareness on their way and trust they reach those who need it!
Dear Julia,
I have been encountering a rage orphan – the other day an appointment did not turn out the way I’d hoped (not super serious) and it involved some extra tasks for me that seemed to take forever. So I did 3 frames with her and let her speak her peace before bedtime that night and slept peacefully.
I have been using Out of the Trap Fertile Heart body truth and 3 Frames Fertile Heart Imagery (a modification of All of You All of Me) from Imagery II Disc 2. The rage orphan and chant from the phone circle were very helpful.
I have been teaching a youth/children’s monthly class and it concepts include respect for all humanity , love, etc. as well as service projects. I feel really good about it. When my daughter asks about terrible events I tell her that’s why I teach the class so hopefully people will feel loved enough not to commits such acts.
I sometimes wonder how can I possibly teach this class when I am not perfect, but then I remember no one is perfect so why not me. It’s a start.
Blessings.
Dear Robin, you ARE perfect! A perfectly imperfect humanoid like the rest of us and I thank you for being such a caring member of our Fertile Heart sisterhood. So glad the All of Me, All of You imagery helped you have a peaceful sleep.
love,
Julia
A very sad day indeed. I lived in Boston for a few years, and my friends there are so heart broken. Patriots Day and the marathon are such an amazing day of celebration and a triumph of the human spirit. We try to believe that this stuff only happens in other countries…not ours. But there is too much self-hatred that then creates hatred towards others. Joe and I would like to find ways to work on more self-love in the world, starting with being kind to ourselves each day and getting to know and love our own orphans.
Thank you for writing this.
Rachel
Yes, somehow when these things happen in far away places, they’re not quite real. I wish we wouldn’t need to wait for tragedy to hit
so close to home before we get galvanized to do something.
Thank you, Rachel!
Hi Julia,
I just wrote a blog entry praising your work. I even mentioned how your tools go well beyond helping one to conceive and are very effective in helping with everyday challenges. Then I noticed you had written this article…a miracle of sorts?!?
I have been fighting a few orphhans of my own lately and I have once again turned to your tools. I was even looking for a weekly call…Thank you so much for all your work. I wish I had some ideas on how to turn this rage out there into creations. I have been sheltering my 8 year old, Kalvin, from the news. No easy feat this day in age. How would I ever expalin what happened at the Marathon to him? It was Jackie Robinson Day around baseball on Monday as well, and as we watched the game together, I found myself struggling to answer all his questions surrounding why Jackie Robinson was not originally allowed to play baseball. If I am struggling with that lesson, how in the world would I explain the Marathon Events to him? I must say, Kalvin is a man of peace and is fascinted and impressed by Martin Luther King Jr. Hmmm, Kalvin does love to talk, maybe I can encourage him to be a minister of peace. Thanks Julia, Love, Kristen
So nice to hear from you, Kristen! Thank you for all the kind words about my work. We really do have do something to “Turn It Around.”
I hope to lead a Birth Your Next Creation Teleconference and continue with my Turn It Around Project, so please keep in touch. Kalvin I’m sure would make a brilliant Minister of Peace. Love back to you,
Julia