Keep Walking Dad, I’ll Meet You Halfway

By on June 11, 2019

Fertile-Heart-Fathers-Day-InspirationWhile it’s true that men get to have babies well into the golden years, a most recent study published in the British Medical Journal concluded that paternal age matters  For me, it simply validates the undeniable fact that yes, men age, as well as women. So do their bodies. And since sperm is inseparable from the body, it ages along with the rest of the “holy human loaf.”

Reading the findings of this research, which shows the risks to the children of older fathers, I continue to be grateful for the gorgeous Dads I get to meet and work with who keep walking to meet their children halfway, often in spite of overwhelming odds.

The one thing they have in common? Open hearts, and wide open minds. The willingness to do their own feeling, thinking, choosing. The willingness to consider that in spite of their age, or their sperm counts there is a great deal they can do to tilt the scale toward healthy sperm and healthy babies.

As much as I respect the findings of scientific studies, over the years my faith in the empirical science of direct observation and experience deepens each time I read another report that reflects good old common sense.

I hope this study, as the research that came before and comes after this report, serves to galvanize us all toward claiming whatever power we do have to shape the unfolding of our stories.

Which is equally true for everyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, or age, or diagnosis.

Happy Father’s Day to the valiant dads in our community and beyond. It would be great to hear about your experience of engaging your partners in your birthing journey.



One Response to “Keep Walking Dad, I’ll Meet You Halfway”

  1. Grateful Mom says:

    Dear Julia and Fertile Hearted Moms and Dads.

    I feel I have been sharing my journey quite consistently with this community through the North America Visionary circles. I am writing this comment first of all, for myself, and then for those who may be not yet on the circles but considering it,, or for the European circles, or who knows, it may provide encouragement to someone, or my future self for birthing my next creation. It is still hard to believe and we are 16 weeks this week.

    This is our second ivf transfer after going through grueling nearly 20 rounds of egg retrievals of mostly low stimulation or non stim and two heavily stim cycles with 2 fertility clinics yielding nearly 17 embryos out of which 4 turned out to be genetically normal per the test. Each cycle we would ether get one egg or none, and rarely 2. I think for two cycles – I ovulated just before they could retrieve the egg. We transferred the newest of the genetically tested normal, last year and it didn’t work. This year we transferred the oldest of these and this is our miracle baby. Sometimes I wonder whether it was because It was before I did any high stim protocol, or was it because I had attended by second workshop in Woodstock few weeks before that egg retrieval whose embryo we transferred 3 months ago. I know too well these are all the snowflakes I have been collecting over the last 3+ years, and not just one or a few things.

    I am grateful for this practice, for the woman who brought it to the world, for her two daughters, especially the younger one, for her husband. I am grateful for the affection that this compassionate woman showered on me when I visited Woodstock for my third workshop in the middle of heavy snow in December 2017. Who has taught me that I can be so much more. She has helped me discover myself. I could go on and on. I do dream of writing a dedicated blog post when we complete our family. I will also say, that Julia has supported me, even when all knowing where my husband has been on the journey, and his feelings about the practice, and for making me realize that I need to be all the more stronger to keep my belief alive/protect my practice. It’s this practice and Julia that helped me give voice to say when enough was enough, sometimes past the time I should have said it. The break we took between our last retrieval and first transfer and between the two transfers was crucial for me. And being able to articulate why I needed it, and help my husband come on board with it, was not easy. And I see and recognize when I communicate from a visionary place, and when I do, I seem more rational to him, and somehow things flow more smoothly. Some points that I had thought in my head would be very difficult to put across, when I finally expressed them, perhaps my conviction shone through, and it wasn’t a long-winded argument, but him agreeing to what I wanted on the timing for the last 1 year or so, when I really was able to scale back on the ivf rounds and begin to live a normal clinic visit free life after grueling 2-3 years we have had.

    Thank you Julia for having faith in me. For helping me realize that it’s not that I needed ivf, and that I needed to heal and make more room within my body, my routine and my life, that helped me make changes in an organic way, and those that I did not think possible 3 years ago. I also am lucky that we could have this opportunity of using ivf as a route with our own eggs and all of it was self-financed, although injectables were covered to most extent and grateful to Julia again, that I somehow managed to resist the stimulation after putting through a few cycles of it.

    There are days that I worry and days that this feels like a happy dream. I need to weave my practice back into the day. Writing this comment is a start to this.
    My journey would have looked very different had I not discovered Julia. She has kindled the flame of an activist within me and I need her and this community to keep the big picture in mind, and help me do my part in my own way. And to trust that I am a co-creator and co-author of my own life story and it is being written.


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