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Follow a Longing, Ask a Question that Counts

By on January 26, 2018

I’ve always loved Rilke’s advice in Letters to a Young Poet , “Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

But I don’t think we can live our way into useful answers unless we ask useful questions.

The question we sing about in this video (filmed after a Meeting Your Child Halfway Woodstock workshop) has been so helpful to me, whenever I’ve been mulling over a new creation, whether it was a baby, or a book or a peace project.

What is the question you’re wrestling with today?

Which part of you is asking that question?  (O? V? UM?)

How will you answer?

How does your choice take you one step closer toward turning your longing into a gift?

What question do you wish to bring into our next Visionary circle?

Dear Moms and Dads and anyone else who cares to chime in, let’s talk to each other. Engage. Support. Let’s practice conception.

Pregnant Woman in White link to Fertile Heart Mind-Body Teleconference. The Question that Counts
Pregnant Woman in White link to Fertile Heart Mind-Body Teleconference.The Question that Counts

35 Responses to “Follow a Longing, Ask a Question that Counts”

  1. heyjude says:

    Hello, I’ve continued with the playground imagery. This time the mountain I am climbing is steeper than it was last time I did this imagery. But the support at the guideposts feels more real and genuine. I have not watched the video for this week yet. Going to do it now. Hugs to everyone!

  2. LIN says:

    Practice, practice and more practice!

  3. Roma says:

    Yesterday after my comment here on the blog I asked my husband if he wanted to do my night imagery together with me, and he agreed. This morning we did a longer session of Body Truth and imagery together. It was very satisfying. I learned that in the future I can ask him more often if he wants to participate with me in the specific moment I am about to do my practice, rather than inviting him on a more abstract level (such as when we go for a walk and I tell him what I am experiencing, but we are far away from the Cds.) I loved sharing our images with one another, rather than just telling him about mine. We agreed that this work week we will try to do 1 imagery together in the evening. So, I feel like this is one visionary rooted action we are accomplishing for the relationship and for our desire to have a child. Yeeey!

  4. Gravid Sans Doute says:

    I forgot to check in yesterday, but I did do the All of Me All of You imagery.

  5. Genevieve says:

    I kept doing the birthing the mother, birthing the child imagery everyday and i really appreciate how the image of myself being pregnant and delivering my baby land in me. I still cry when i do it, but i don’t feel threatened by it anymore, i just let the feelings come!

  6. Roma says:

    Long morning session with Body Truth and Imagery. Same ones as the last days, and I also included Learning how to ask, which was powerful and soothing. A panicking and sad orphan’s voice could try out visionary solutions of formulating and transforming her needs of the moment. I still haven’t done this weeks’ videos exercise of asking something from my partner, though. I would like him to participate more actively with me and I will try, in the next days, again to find the right words for my desire without demanding. I am often in between what I believe would be helpful (a lot) and what he thinks is important to invest (a little less). In the last couple of months I have been inviting him to do imagery with me, to eat more healthy with me, lower his e-cigarette consume, which he tries as much as it is possible for him at this point. Even if my invitations are not always succeesful, I often end up telling him what I experience during the imagery exercises, and then we spend a long time talking about what comes up, which has brought us closer together.
    Ready to prepare for bed now and do another imagery before.

  7. Td says:

    I have been doing my imagery Every evening with the speak your peace body truth. Today I am getting time to do it in the morning too. I have been doing “a new beginning’ – it is so physical, I can feel that scrub. I think this past year is being peeled away finally and all the politics of the job I’m finally leaving. As well as beliefs I didn’t know I was holding about this never working. I am young and fertile and my body is perfectly capable of doing this!

    • Lin says:

      I keep doing the practice and being consistent, knowing strongly what I want and sending all the good energy and vibes to every loving and beautiful mum to be!

  8. Gravid Sans Doute says:

    I worked with imagery today – Learning how to ask. I’m not sure what I will be asking my husband yet. I’m hoping to be inspired by the imagery for what to ask. I didn’t do the imagery yesterday because I was recovering from my 2nd Covid shot. Blessings to all.

  9. LIN says:

    keeping doing my imagery exercises and being consistant and accountable with the OVUM practice!
    courage to every mum to be out there!

  10. Roma says:

    Lots of orphans today. Some visionary in between, lightening up everything.
    Same imagery and body truth exercise as yesterday this morning.
    Trying to do one more round before bedtime.
    Enjoying the follow-up here on the blog. Good motivator.

  11. LIN says:

    Last night did both mirror of truth and playground imagery (a very beautiful imagery)I loved to do it :)

  12. Zuza says:

    I did the All of Me All of You imagery last night and in the morning the Glass house. I have been doing the Glass house imagery for couple of days already and interesting thing is that each day something different comes up, although the strongest images rose up for the first time only.

  13. arose says:

    I did the All of me All of You imagery this morning. This journey toward a child has often turned our partnership into a list of to do’s and our value in the relationship connecting to how much we each “check off the list” each day. I really needed this reminder to enjoy my husband and to embrace his orphans with nurturing like I would a child as I act in a mothering manner instead of reacting from the voices of my defensive or mad orphans. I feel that this visualization creates a lightness similar to the assignment to listen to music from when we were 16 years old last week. I am ready to let go a bit and start dating my love again.

  14. Genevieve says:

    I have always difficulties to choose an imagery but i had a strong feeling i had to go back to the Birthing the mother, birthing the child imagery. That imagery connects me so strongly with some feelings that it is painful but i know that it is what i need for now. I will keep doing it once or twice a day until it is the time to test for bhcg during that IVF cycle. I did the imagery tonight and even if i cried, i didn’t see it negatively and i will persist.

  15. Batiface says:

    I did the playground imagery last night and this morning.

  16. heyjude says:

    Hello all – I did the Playground imagery last night and also this morning after my yoga practice. I had done this one a few months ago for several weeks, and what struck me is how different the same imagery feels and how different the images are this time around. much love to all

  17. Roma says:

    Lovely song. Today I did the Tree of Faith and Surrender because I needed both.

  18. LIN says:

    I often think that Julia you DO really too much for us, pushing us insistently to be consistent with the practice. I sometimes feel ashame of it because that really is not your duty. If to have a child is what we want the most, WE have to be accountable for it and it should not come from you. we are not childrens but grown up adults and ready to be future excellent mums. Thank you again for all what you do for all of us.

    The last couple of weeks I am doing the ´mirror of truth´imagery, sometimes is difficult to be consistent and sometimes its hard for me to believe it but i want to keep doing it for this week. I have done it a couple of times already since the moment we ended the visionary session yesterday.

  19. clares says:

    PS just wanted to say love the tune just listened to it x

  20. clares says:

    Hello I wanted to share that after a busy day at work I came home and did my body truth while tea was cooking. I will do my imagery before bed. I will have to now! Love to all x

  21. Bumblebee says:

    For a long time I fought this, I didn’t want to take part in the journey or learn from the experience, I just wanted the baby. Time and experience has taught me now that I can not avoid it. This is the path that has been chosen for me and surely its better for me (and my fertility!) to not fight it and dare I say it – find joy along the way where I can.
    I am certainly not going to be the same mother that I would have been if this longing and this journey had not been a part of my story.

    Also it is okay to embrace the longing, disappointment is disappointment, at least I can say that I dove in and experienced this connection with my child even before conception and that I am giving it my all because it is something which I desire. It feels a bit scary to come to this point sometimes, as if I am letting go of some kind of perceived control but I give myself to much credit as the creation of life is not under my control. It is something I can play my part in, but then ultimately I have to surrender also.

  22. ggloria says:

    “What a beautiful way to think of this”, was my first thought. But of course my Orphan chimed in, “after 6+ years of trying, all the doctors you’ve seen, all the effort you’ve put forth, you deserve for it to be a burden.” However, over the next couple weeks, I found my self spontaneously singing the song in the video.

    On last week’s call, when we were asked to invite an image of our child, I saw part of my baby’s chubby delicious arm with a little gold bracelet on it and what rose up in me was love. I tried to jump on the bench, but I wasn’t fast or loud enough. (It’s the introvert in me) I am so thank for to everyone who shared on the call. You each said something that resonated with me and I did every exercise with you. That night I had the most beautiful vivid dream that I had two daughters. It’s been years since I’ve had a dream where I had children. There was so much love in my dream and it all seemed so real. I feel I’m closer than ever to having our babies. I keep telling my husband the baby is coming.

    I’m looking forward to tonight’s call. Today would have been the third birthday of our baby we lost to miscarriage. Tonight we will celebrate with carrot cake (one of the few things I was able to tolerate when I was pregnant). Happy Birthday my baby, Nathan Grace.

  23. Julia R. says:

    It’s been a week since our call and I am so grateful to everyone who listened to my orphans and their anger and despair. I have gotten out the sword for my nightly Body Truth practice–a real metal one, about four feet long, used by my wife in her (yes) martial arts hobby–and when I hold it piercing the space in front of myself at eye level or over my head in a “Kill BIll” style crouch, it feels marvelous. Vital and energetic and assured. I’m trying to see that Visionary in the middle frame, between the Orphan and the Ultimate Mom, a little more clearly. My dreams are full of strange new cityscapes and adventuring and flying and exploring–never a familiar landscape, always new ones. It feels like good new territory, but I think that Julia is right–there just isn’t any way I can do this alone. I very much need your help, knowing that you all are out there, connecting with the same longing, feeling how much energy and life is there inside it, so much power. My orphans whisper to me that I can do it alone, “naked in a jail cell,” don’t need help, etc etc. Thank you all for helping me learn how to ask for help.

  24. WithGrattitude says:

    Hi everyone,

    The question my orphan keeps asking is “when is it going to be my turn?” My answer on some days is “I wish I knew!” But my answer on many more recent days is, “patience my darling.” I think being invited to look at our longing as a gift IS a gift. It’s an opportunity to turn something thought of as a terrible burden around on its head. I am trying hard to remember to stop and smell the roses on my journey. It’s allowed me to feel a little lighter, like the burden is eased a little bit, keeping my eyes on the end goal but allowing myself to enjoy my life a little more along the way.

    I enjoyed tonight’s discussion – particularly about reading dreams. I too have a lot of dreams where I’m in the house I grew up, or am with my family. I feel comforted by these dreams, surrounded by familiar places or with the people I love. I need to look deeper for the meaning the UM is inviting me to see. I look forward to connecting with the group again in a couple of weeks.

    Let’s all continue to be kind to ourselves and each other!

  25. Bel says:

    The question I am asking myself right now is how can I bring myself fully back to life, a question being asked by my V? I have felt myself shying away from life over the past few months, and feel like during this time the scope of my life has shrunk and my enthusiasm levels have generally been pretty low. Everyday has felt like a bit of a grind, to be honest. I’ve been questioning the work I do, the structure of my day to day life and have been longing for shifts, for new air, for inspiration and joy to rise again. I have realised, though, that they are not going to spring out of nowhere, that I have to help to coax them into being. And yet I’ve felt great resistance to taking visionary steps, finding it almost easier to stay stuck in my groove, even though it hasn’t been a fun place to be in! Interestingly, after a month of really bad insomnia (where I had almost no dreams), my dreams are returning and rather than matching how I’ve been feeling, they have mostly been very sweet & joyful and about fun things happening in my life. It really does feel as if the UM is whispering to me, encouraging me in this direction. I am trying to now take one small visionary step a day, something that gets me out of my routine, even if it’s as small as buying a new (& delicious) food on the farmer’s market alongside all the usual super healthy veg we always get! This weekend my husband and I are also going away for a couple of nights, to stay by the sea, unusual for us, as we spend almost all our weekends in the city . So slowly, slowly, I am determined to walk myself back to life.
    Love to all x

    • LC says:

      I felt so identified with this post. I have only been 3 months on this journey and right now feeling like my entire life needs to be re-assesed, although I’m not doing anything to change my situation. Today I feel like my entire life has been reduced to TTC and can’t see any joy on anything… Feeling like all my energy is gone, today I didn’t even wanted to do my Imagery exercises… I hope this is just an O’s tantrum and that my UM and the V make an appearance soon.

      • Roma says:

        Today was a public holiday, so I could really take my time for the exercises.

        Morning: Tree of Faith and Surrender.Rock the Baby.
        Evening: All of me, all of you. Unconditional gratitude.

        Grateful tonight for the couragous women of my visionary circle. They are my role models and they keep me going.

  26. MagnumMama says:

    Dear Fertile Mamas and Julia,

    I took a couple weeks off from life for a much needed disconnect, vacation and reboot. I even had a few celebrated glasses of my favorite Champagnes. I started my Fertile Heart practice again this week and at first felt very sad and frustrated. My orphans were speaking loudly -> Why am I still in the same situation where I haven’t given birth to my miracle baby yet? Reading this post and feeling the strong energy from the Fertile Heart community has reminded me that I am not alone in this journey. This chant has helped me get through hurdles in the past and put rogue orphans in their place. “Eye of the Tiger” is my new mantra – what a gift! I have also struggled with not doing body truths (or fertility yoga). Now is the time for me to add some extra seasoning to my personal fertile soup. Thank you for the inspiration and helping me to find the courage to get out of my own way as I seek truth along this path. xoxo

  27. Infinitely Fertile Yogini says:

    Dear Julia, and beautiful and infinitely fertile hearted Moms and Dads,

    It was a privilege to be part of the circle last week and start the year! I will miss interacting this week – but look forward to next Tuesday. My question for today is, am I ready to receive love and give love, starting with myself, unconditionally? Am I ready to be the first person to shamelessly and utterly be in awe of myself? For how far I have come in two years of walking on this scenic route with you all right here. It is okay to love myself. This is not an egoistic love. It is a caring that my body and my entire being wants to receive and they know that the potential of this love exists in abundance. This question comes from my V. UM is right here helping her with learning to ask the question.

    I picked the “First Nursery” for this week. I continue to struggle with even sitting down or standing up to do body truth. I did it once last week – but it is better than not doing it at all for last I don’t know how long has passed. My V asks – what is it that is stopping me from committing to body truth?

    Thank you Gravid Sans Doute for your comment. I had not heard the song “Eye of the Tiger” before – it is energizing!

    Looking forward to coming back here to hear more and share more.
    Love and healing to all.

    • Hello there, IFY, If you send me a note about it on Tuesday, I’ll guide you through a Body Truth on the call, okay? Body Truth is often the part of the practice that many of us avoid, but once you discover how much your body wants to speak and how instant the shift can be after a BT sequence, you might be more inclined to do it more consistently.

  28. Gravid Sans Doute says:

    Dear Julia and Fertile Mamas,

    Thank you for this message. I would say most of the time I am able to see the longing in my heart as a gift. I feel I am healthier for looking closely at my life, the Fertile Heart tools have taken me through many difficult times with a healthier emotional perspective and the teleconferences have helped me with interactions with children. Very often I point out to myself that there are many in the world who would gladly exchange places with me. Would I wish to live in Syria or North Korea, for instance, even with the children/family of my dreams?

    One of the questions that is often in my mind is how to manage full-time work in a balanced way with my life outside of work. This has been a little challenging for me, because I expected to be much more accepted at my job, better at it than perhaps I am. It was quite difficult particularly at first. I actually got a good review from my manager, so I am grateful for that. Most days it feels better. I have been working with the Orphans Fertile Heart body truth. Sometimes I feel judged, particularly at work. So I am also doing the Visionary Body Truth where I use my “sword” and lead the battle, backed by my warring angels. I ask myself who’s judgement really matters, and it’s no one who I sometimes feel judged by in this material world that really matters (ultimately). I went ice skating with my husband last night and they played the Eye of the Tiger song, and I thought that was the perfect one to have in my mind for this body truth. I am also doing White Flower imagery.

    Blessings to all.



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