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Julia’s Blog: Does the Universe Really Have Your Back?

By on August 13, 2017

If you were to google the phrase “the universe got your back,” chances are you’d find it in innumerable blog. It’s a reassuring oft repeated mantra, and it’s usually linked with a “secret” formula that will pretty much guarantee a particular outcome in this or that area of our lives.

And the word “universe” is usually a code word for “God” or some other outside force that looks out for us and as long as we learn how to control it, and offer this force  a requisite number of meditations, we will get exactly what we asked for.

Some people actually perceive the Fertile Heart OVUM work the same way: as a  mechanical repetition of specific imaginal sequences that will deliver the baby which ten IVF’s failed to deliver.

But what if we were to turn it around?

How would our lives, our challenges be altered if we turned it around and asked,  How can I have the Universe’s back?.

What if we both, I and this amorphous force, I callthe Universe want the same thing? Someone to be on our side? To have our back. To listen to our needs.

What if in fact a meaningful life was all about looking out how the Universe or in the language of Fertile Heart, the Ultimate Mom is perpetually asking:

Where do you stand on this? Which side are you on? Will you have my back?

What if those of us longing to bring the first, second, or next child into our family, intermittently paused and heard the Universe utter that question:

Hey, dear partner in creation, In this mind-boggling, mysterious, tough and full of wonder enterprise called human procreation, will you have my back?

Will you speak up about what you have witnessed?

Will you do the hard work of attempting to hear me?

Are we partners? Or is it just about you perpetually asking for the next thing I have failed to give you?

As broken as we may feel when faced with a fertility challenge, could this possibly shift our perception from brokenness to a sense of our own power? Of being entrusted to contritbute to one of humanity’s most essential conversations? A conversation about how our approach to life affects how we bring children into the world and the colossal consequences of our choices?

And as far as the magic of the Fertile Heart OVUM practice? It allows us to cultivate an inner strength so that we can first of all, be there for ourselves. Be there for the straggler, the troubled, the confused Orphans in us.

Once we can begin to be there for them, perhaps it will be easier for us to  recognize the people we can count on. People who’d catch us if were were to start falling backward.

Who knows? Maybe then the Universe/Ulitimate Mom, that force that refuses to be controlled or explained or manipulated will indeed send reliable supporters our way.

Or perhaps such trusted supporters have been there all along. Maybe we just couldn’t recognize them looking out at the world through the lens of our defeated selves.

This is something I have to keep reminding myself. It always works both ways. Chances are the person/power I look to for support has been looking for the same thing from me.

Have I been able to hear them in a way I wish to be heard?

4 Responses to “Julia’s Blog: Does the Universe Really Have Your Back?”

  1. AnchorMama says:

    Dearest Julia,
    Thank you for yet another thought provoking post and for always asking the hard questions. I do believe there are so many ways to lean into these words, to make sure I have “the Universe’s back.” Yet the triggering question for me in this post was the question, “Will you do the hard work of attempting to hear me?” This, this is really the hardest work. Whose voice am I hearing? The orphan or my visionary or my ultimate mom? And what is it asking for? I do believe that true strength comes out of the biggest challenges and I’ve personally heard/seen my voice become louder and more confident over the years I’ve been a part of the fertile practice. The waters may not be clearer, but taking one step at a time and taking the time to stop, look and listen is the best thing I can do.

  2. Gravid Sans Doute says:

    Dear Fertile Mamas,

    There are certainly many ways to care for the Universe, including caring for ourselves. I am delighted that with my new job I am able to more confidently commit to teaching the children’s class that I have been teaching for years. The class focuses on caring for one another including doing service. I am grateful for this opportunity.

    I have been working with Welcome Home Fertile Heart body truth and The Land of Haves Fertile Heart imagery (Imagery II). In the Land of Haves I have been listening to what I am looking for . One of the things is feeling loved and cared for . I’m still getting used to my work and time schedule. I’m trying to focus on how to care for myself withing that framework.

    Blessings to all.

  3. Tiddalick says:

    Wow, thanks Julia for this thought-provoking post, and thanks Lunden for your honest and enlightening reply (these are difficult questions, but as you say, asking the questions is just as important as finding the answers that work for us). I had difficulty ‘finding my way into’ this post, and understanding how I could integrate it into my life, until I started thinking about ‘the universe’ as God – I don’t think it’s the religious aspect of this that’s important, but that it helped me to kind of ‘personalise’ this universe and what it might be asking of me. So the idea of ‘having the universe’s back’ becomes an aspect of faith and living the life we are supposed to in a much broader sense: not just focusing on infertility and wanting a baby, but constantly opening ourselves to others and making our world a better place on all levels. Like Lunden, for me this means thinking about the environment, and also, as Julia has asked us to, reaching out to others about her work and alternatives to high tech treatments (which doesn’t mean turning our back on these if they are helpful – I write this while doing an IVF cycle, which interestingly has opened up new opportunities to reach people who may benefit from Julia’s work). For me, this also means working harder to be patient and kind with my living children, and creating a better world for them. All of which does, slowly and not on all days, but nonetheless, shift my perception from one of brokenness to a sense of our own power (to use Julia’s words).

  4. Lunden says:

    Yes! Thank you! My husband and I have been in the fertility journey for almost five years now. We are environmental activities (among other things -but that is actually his paid job) and as a result my thoughts about fertility and parenting are affected by these values. At times I have wrestled with questions and observations that sometimes feel in contradiction or contrast to one another while on this journey. Sometimes feeling like I ‘deserve’ to have everything I ask for, sometimes settling in to the reality that people don’t ‘deserve’ anything and they certainly don’t get everything they want. I go from feeling myself aching with every fiber of myself wanting to carry and birth a biological child and then I hear myself weighing the reality of over population and the stress this causes on the earth and universe. I think about resource (abundant, scarce, poorly used): money, plastic ovulation kits, pregnancy tests and medical equipment and it makes me wonder if it is all ok or if I am just justificing my actions. I try to be smart – re homing estrogen patches from a failed IVF before it expires to trans women in my community, bringing unused needles to the needle exchange, properly disposing of unused and expired meds, trying to make smarter choices about what and how I use resource (everything from OPKs, to money and time). Time – phew that is a big one. I have both waisted time and effectively used time on this journey. I have a lay persons doctorate in fertility (diagnosis, testing, alternative and western treatments) as well as in adoption. To be clear these questions and concerns are not spoken from my orphans. My questions aren’t coming from a place inside me where I feel victimized and undeserving. The questions come from an ultimate mom aspect of myself who is trying to figure out how I have my back, the earth and universes back as well as the back of my future child. I don’t have this all figured out yet and that is ok. The questions themselves are important. Thank you for reading. I am visioning the big picture with a big heart trying to hold space for how it all fits together.



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