Lesson In Fertility: What’s In a Name?

By on June 24, 2015

This post is dedicated to our resplendent Miracle Hope.

Dear Miracle Hope,

As your humble encourager, I’m thinking it might be time for a new name.

Because you see, the name Miracle Hope implies that you are hoping for a miracle.

And you are not the only one.  BusyBeingBornNew  The idea that this next “miracle” will be the one that saves us and then we’ll never have to ask for anything else again, is a tempting tune we all hum from time to time.

When we find ourselves wishing  for a child that isn’t showing up on our timetable, it’s easy to forget the countless miracles that led to this miraculous moment you and I are living right now…and now…and now.

But what I’m beginning to sense as you, dear Miracle Hope, keep soothing your various Orphans and birthing your multiple Visionaries, is that the part of you that knows that YOU ARE a miracle— and the chief co-creator of miracles in your life— has been growing stronger.

In many wisdom traditions people choose to take on new names to support the emergence of a new, not-yet-born self.

What do you think MH? Is it time for a new name?

How about the rest of us? What name would best reflect the new Self you sense to be wiggling her way  through the birth canal? Fertile Heart OVUM

42 Responses to “Lesson In Fertility: What’s In a Name?”

  1. FindingFaith21 says:

    Wow. A new name. I figure the timing is right, since I’m embarking on a whole new and unknown chapter of my life right now. I might as well change my name and hopefully, this will help me change direction to one more healing and empowering.

    Years ago, I had my daughter and was sidelined by postpartum depression. This came as a huge shock to me because I had never ever felt more mentally awesome and alive as I did when I was pregnant. Luckily, my husband knew what was happening to me, got me help and I was on the road to recovery by the time my daughter was 6 weeks old. For that next year, I healed physically and mentally, and bonded with my daughter so deeply. As I worked through the PPD, I blossomed into this awesome mom. It was hard work, but so incredible, life changing and so amazing.

    In this journey, I heard a quote and it embodied what I was going through: Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she became a butterfly.

    That was it. I was at such a dark time, and then after this huge change, I grew wings and emerged this beautiful creature–a mom. The book I wrote about my journey was thus titled “Butterfly.”

    Which leads me here. I am in the dark. I am huddled in this tight, confining cocoon right now, feeling all sorts of strange sensations and seeing nothing, unable to believe that something good can come of all of this pain and change. But I want to have faith that this journey, too, will lead me to my wings. I need to believe that someday soon I will emerge another beautiful creature.

    So I am now ButterflyFaith.

  2. Liz1 says:

    Hello everyone,
    I’m filled with anxiety at the moment. I have the option to do my 1st IVF cycle next week, but feel blocked and afraid. I think afraid because of the orphan who wants everything done perfectly so am worried if this is the right cycle for me, but also afraid of it being successful!!
    I’ve been away from practice for couple weeks, so am now starting with Welcome Home, and I’m not sure which imagery exercise yet, I’ll see what feels right.
    When I was on holiday recently I came up with a new name- “Heart Wide Open”- I’ve noticed times in recent months when I definitely feel more open-hearted/ less contracted by fear, and it’s something I want to keep working towards. It helps me feel more connected to others and more generous too.
    Really looking forward to the call this eve.
    Liz x

  3. Lori says:

    Hello everyone!

    I have been absent for quite some time from both the blogs and phone circles. I was sidetracked by the sale of my house and moving into a new place. It took about 2 months and brought lots of orphans. I admit, my OVUM practice has definitely suffered through this change. I am heading on vacation this week to Aruba for a much needed relaxing time with good friends. My hope is that when I return, August will be a good time for me to refocus on my practice and give my orphans the attention they deserve.

    I’ve read through these posts a few times over the past month and as my name on here is currently just my name – Lori. I didn’t really think I had to change it. I really had no direction to choose something else. But just this afternoon, checking in, I realized that something I am very big on practicing is being in each moment. It’s really been something that I enjoy and brings me comfort. So my new name shall be In This Moment.

    Hope you are all well and will check in next week upon my return :)

    In This Moment (Lori)

  4. FionaC says:

    Dear Julia,

    Thank you so much for this post – I agree completely. Time for a change in name for this journey! I am still thinking it over as I am searching for my V to help me find my new name. At first, I thought of using “Patience” or “MiraclePatience” as patience is something you mentioned I need to have – when we were on a Visionary Moms call some time ago. This also prompted me to realise that I have so little faith in myself as patience and faith go hand in hand. Since participating at the Workshop, however, I feel I need a stronger name than that. I hope that the next time I post, I will have found a name that resonates deeper within me.

    Now, I am very keen to share my experiences of the Workshop and what has happened since. Thank you Thank you again for accepting me into your home and for sharing the OVUM practice with my husband and me. I am deeply grateful every time I do an imagery or body truth. It is making me feel stronger and more hopeful every day (of course I have quite a few “down” days, too). This post will be quite long… I am sorry about that! I need to post more often so that this does not happen..

    Since the Workshop in June, I have been feeling a lot more open and relaxed – I think it brought my husband and me much closer together and I am realising that my new life style choices (to be a vegetarian (well still eating fish) and doing all my imagery/body truths, yoga and juicing & learning more about healing foods etc), is not a farce (as some of my friends think it is) but a truly important way to make our little family healthier and happier.

    I have been doing a lot of imagery and body truths relating to a number of Orphans in the past weeks since the Workshop:

    1. my Orphan who says that my parents will not love me if I do not do what they want me to do (i.e., not have another baby). I have also been practising my daily “f*** off” phrase. I still feel quite bad that I am doing that as my “good girl” Orphan is definitely very strong. Though, I am increasingly feeling stronger about living my life my way and not always having to please everyone else, including my parents.
    I did a lot of imagery / body truths, such as:
    – Womb with a View
    – Woman
    – Your Mother not yourself
    – Defend/ Receive
    – Field of Creation imagery
    I can feel how my relationship with my parents is starting to get a bit better. They even told me to stay away from people which chicken pox in case I am pregnant. So, they are not being as negative as they were. In any event, I am now starting to feel more self-sufficient and not focusing on what they want for me – but what I want for myself and my little family. It feels really good to be that way.

    2. a new Orphan I found or re-found, who thinks I have no way of being able to have another healthy baby & have no faith in myself: Through the imagery in these past few week I have come to realise, too, that I have very little faith in myself that I can get pregnant with a healthy second baby. It was prompted by one of the questions on the paper that you distributed at the Workshop. I feel very much that I have been lacking in faith and trust in myself. The imagery I have been doing is:
    – Tree of Faith and Surrender
    – Meeting Your Child Halfway
    and lots of Body Truths.
    Recently, I have also been focusing on Possibilty and Field of Creation. It feels like the sabotage Orphans are working strongly at the moment..

    3. most recently, the Orphan who says I have “old eggs”and that I am too old: I just got back from another fertility doctor who told me I must rush to do to IVF immediately (the type where they check the chromosomes of the embryos & only put back the healthy ones) as I am too old (I am 43) and he said that even IUI is not going to work on me – “despite my youthful looks & young looking uterus/womb”, as he said. I was really very upset about it and I had to remind myself about my inner strength and my Visionary. I had wanted to see him to get a picture as to my hormone levels (as I think I am lacking progesterone post-ovulation). I am going to ask him if I can have progesterone support after ovulation next time I see him.
    My husband does not want to do IVF as he does not want me to put my body through it (and as he thinks it will put too much stress on our family life, plus it is soooo expensive), but I am half-minded about IVF as the chromosomal issues are a worry. But I am doing imagery and aiming to create a chant that says “I am healthy and young and happy, so my eggs & womb and endometrium are healthy, young and happy and will help me become a mummy of a second healthy baby”
    So, I have been focusing on:
    – Issues in your Tissues
    – Supporting Ovulation
    plus Welcome Home, Defend/Receive, Elbows First, The Orphan, and Gratitude
    and I will be doing a few other imagery practices next week – I thought the above are the most important for me now, as he was focusing so much on very negative stats. I was so upset at his words – though I am proud to report that I asked him half way through the conversation to stop with giving me statistics as I don’t need to know (nor do I want to know) the numbers.

    The journey continues –
    Love and peace to everyone on your journeys,

    • pineapple says:

      Hi FionaC,

      I don’t mind reading a long post. Sometimes its what is needed and there is always opportunity for another to walk with you. You touch upon a lot, and I can relate to much of it. I am 43, and trying to have my second child, and I too have been overwhelmed by the stats. I think it is just a feeling though – not reality, and holds very little value moment to moment. But keep walking and you’ll choose a direction right for you.

      I wanted to pick up on the progesterone issue. I’ve had several miscarriages, and have always been told my progesterone levels were ok. I visited a new clinic, who specialise in monitoring hormones with particular attention to progesterone. I was told with my levels recorded over the last 3 years they would have prescribed me 400mg during LP and 800mg post conception. I’ve never been given progesterone during my LP and only recent 400mg 5/6 after conception. Progesterone deficiency was something I queried during my first few loses and nobody considered it relevant, that and my IBS. This clinic considers both relevant.

      To give you an idea, they like to see over 60 (UK measurement) 7 days post ovulation.

      All the best.

      • FionaC says:

        Hi Pineapple,

        Thank you very much for your message – … I realised soon after I posted my message that it was really rather long and very detailed. Too much information, I thought! I guess that is how my mind is feeling, too. The stats were really rather a worry and I am determined to find my own path again having been slightly waylaid by my many Orphans that appeared recently. I think you are right, it is just a feeling – and even my OBG said, “in the end, the numbers don’t actually matter or mean anything” and he continued on to say that he has delivered many babies to women who had the statistics against them.

        About the progesterone levels, thank you for mentioning your experience. I am now really quite keen to have my levels tested. None of the doctors I have seen have listened to me about this – so I think I will try another possible clinic which is known for doing a lot of tests. That or I will insist on tests with my current OBG.

        Best wishes to you, too!

        • FearlessRose says:

          Dear Julia, I think I might have found a name for this part of my journey. It is FearlessRose: I think I need to remind myself that I am fearless (I know I am or I would not be on this journey) and rose, as it is such a beautiful flower and I need to remind myself that I am beautiful just the way I am.
          I also would love to report that I am now on the road to healing my relationship with my parents. Your guidance and wisdom during the Visionary Moms call last week has had a very ground-breaking effect on how I am interacting with my parents who I love very very much. We are healing our relationship! Thank you again!

          • FearlessRose says:

            Dear Pineapple,
            It is late and I am not sure how to amend my post after submitting it – but I wanted to add that I am very sad and sorry to read about your miscarriages and losses. There are just no words that can console one when it comes to any miscarriage, but I wanted to say that my heart and thoughts are with you.

  5. MiraculousLife says:

    Today’s free chat session was awesome :) !!
    I saw my husband as an “Adoring Dad”. I was so proud of him, he was courageous enough to ask his question. He checked with me before and was hesitating and I said that was a good question and encouraged him to speak up. I was in fact surprised he dared enough to speak up. He usually calls himself as “Ultimate Papa or Ultimate Dad (UP/UD)” and keeps saying he has no orphans and is full of V and UP …LOL…..and I pull his leg.
    This was a true miracle as in the first place I never expected him to listen to this call. I felt very happy that he was able to speak his mind with Julia and could identify his orphan.
    Thanks for your guidance Julia :) !!

    Coming to my work, I seem to be lacking focus. I have to do something about it. I am feeling a lot of restlessness and lacking complete focus in all the tasks that I am doing in my life, be it work, imagery. My out of focus orphan is on a rampage :)
    Need to see how can i get my mind clearer and bring back some focus.

    • Dear S., It was so happy to hear his voice, it was a pleasure and an honor to engage with your Ultimate Papa husband!

      Go easy now…on yourself, slow down, breathe, and enjoy the ride and your wonderful partner. You are two beautiful parents, your child is on your side; has been meeting you halfway all along. That, to me, is the only story worth living on this journey.

  6. MiraculousLife says:

    Today’s free chat session was awesome :) !!

    I saw my husband as an “Adoring Dad”. I was so proud of him, he was courageous enough to ask his question. He checked with me before and was hesitating and I said that was a good question and encouraged him to speak up. I was in fact surprised he dared enough to speak up. He usually calls himself as “Ultimate Papa or Ultimate Dad (UP/UD)” and keeps saying he has no orphans and is full of V and UP …LOL…..and I pull his leg.
    This was a true miracle as in the first place I never expected him to listen to this call. I felt very happy that he was able to speak his mind with Julia and could identify his orphan.
    Thanks for your guidance Julia :) !!

    Coming to my work, I seem to be lacking focus. I have to do something about it. I am feeling a lot of restlessness and lacking complete focus in all the tasks that I am doing in my life, be it work, imagery. My out of focus orphan is on a rampage :)
    Need to see how can i get my mind clearer and bring back some focus.

  7. Gravid Sans Doute says:

    Dear Lizl, pineapple, MiraculousLife, and RightHereRightNow,

    (This is Robin)

    Thank you so much for being here.

    Lizl – Welcome back! I’m sorry your boyfriend was not well.
    pineapple – What you said rings true.
    MiraculousLife – Great for surrender.
    RightHereRightNow – Wow. Great vacation!

    I have been doing Welcome Home Fertile Heart Body truth and Supporting Ovulation Fertile Heart Imagery (imagery II). I have been focusing on in the moment I am using Fertile Heart tools to have the belief that this is making a difference. I’m also considering working on courtesy in our home (myself included) to help make a better atmosphere.

    Blessings to all!

  8. Liz1 says:

    Hi everyone,
    I haven’t been on here for a while & had lost the habit of practice, but thankfully last week I started again and am finding body truth so helpful… especially in grounding myself and living in my body rather than head! The last couple of weeks have been tough as my boyfriend is unwell and I have been feeling the need to keep everything together. But now I’m allowing myself to let go, cry, and see where that takes me. Brave caterpillar I could really relate to your post when you talk about your relationship with fear. I realise I’ve been afraid to lose illusion of control when it comes to some things at home.
    I would love to come up with a new name too so will think on that..
    Best wishes to everyone xx

  9. Gravid Sans Doute says:

    Dear Wonderful Mommas,

    This is Robin with a new name.

    pineapple – I am so glad your husband was not 53!! Wonderful idea – changing all the stereotype names thrown at you!
    MiraculousLife – I love your co-worker pregnant after 6 years story.
    WarriorBeagle – I love your new name
    Everyone else – blessings, blessings and thank you so much for being here!

    I have been doing Soul on Fire Fertile Heart body truth and Supporting Ovulation Fertile Heart imagery. I am continuing to be in the state of being, to the best of my ability, when I am doing any aspect of my practice, that it is making a difference. I find it rewarding.

    Blessings to all

  10. Gravid Sans Doute says:

    Dear Wonderful Ladies and so many new names here.

    Wonderful Joanne for RightHereRightNow.
    And Miraclehope or MiracleLife, you are not outside the circle. I appreciate you so much!
    ConfidentBeliever, BraveCaterpillar – Wonderful names!
    pineapple, Bailey930, AmandaS, gaffkt,and RachelSF wonderful to hear from you.

    Gravid Sans Doute is the new name for me. (This is Robin) Gravid is the medical term for pregnant and sans doute is French for without doubt.

    Right now I’m focusing on whatever I am doing, working with the tools, etc., does matter – I’m pretending to the best of my ability that I fully believed it is making a difference in the moment I am doing it – staying fully present (like you’re RightHereRightNow name, Joanne). I have been doing Supporting Ovulation Fertile Heart Imagery (Imagery II) and Soul on Fire Fertile Heart Body Truth. I’m just seeing where this leads.

    I have been thinking about what Julia has been saying about hearing the orphans and attending to them, but not buying into orphan reality. I believe if we look around the world, most people have been living in orphan reality for a lot of years. (Like through history – most people have been in there – some have managed to be visionaries) Well, all of us, including medical researchers,R.E.s, our Aunt Tilda who says just relax, most people and all their comments and views, people who write articles for magazines about fertility, all of these people have been immersed mostly in orphan reality. So all these things we hear from people or medical people that some part of us may take as true, may very well be steeped in orphan reality. Maybe it’s no more true (on a case by case basis) than any other orphan reality is. Also, my husband is a statistical analyst and he is pretty good at it and careful about it, and he is generally appalled at the many claims that are made using statistics that have no basis in fact or are skewed, etc. and he has worked in a variety of industries. So there you go. Just something that occurred to me.

    Blessings to you all and thank you so much for being here!

    • Pineapple says:

      You are pregnant with vision and giving birth without a doubt!

      I definitely feel I’m living in an orphan reality at the moment. She is fearful. Fearful that the statics, the misplaced comments (comments made by others living their own orphan reality as you commented) are proving themselves true. When for so long I have been campaigning they are wrong and I really believe what your husband says. My UM keeps reminding me of this.

      These are some pretty strong orphans taking my wheel at the moment, its probably no coincidence that we are 7/7 here in the UK today. Exactly 2 weeks before my son was born and his father came close to death in a tube bombing. We never think these things can happen to us, that we somehow live our lives looking on the devastation happening to others without ever really really having to do anything about it. Thankfully, there are people like Julia who make a stand against such violence.

      Wow, I’m using the public library to access the web today, and they have just conducted the 1 minute silence at 11.30am (GMT) in memory of the 52 who died here 10 years ago, and a tidal wave of emotion has come over me. As I look away from the faces of others, so as to hide the welling eyes, it so very easily could have been 53. Something has to change!

      So, when I think about my name and its birthing, I hope for a little more action and commitment (on my part) befitting the name. I can’t change the world but I can change my response to it. Peace to all on this memorable day.

      • pineapple says:

        I’ve been thinking about my thoughts on my commitment and my taking action, and actually I think I do commit and I certainly do take action – too many and too hastily! I think I’m literally living in my orphan reality and allowing her to give me a hard time. She has big expectations and thinks that unless everything is perfect then this baby can’t be born and I can’t be good enough. In haste to do everything all that I achieve is a succession of failures. And this feeds my orphan by saying ‘there you go – told you so – next time you must do this, this and this…..’. Today I feel a little more ‘touched by angels’ than inspired.

        • MiraculousLife says:

          Dear Pineapple
          I couldn’t resist to respond to you. I always have this orphan from my childhood. I prepare a checklist that says what all must be done in order to – pass an exam, to crack an interview, to get pregnant. The list is never ending, as I complete one, another shows up. This feeling overwhelms me and I feel depleted of my energy. Thankfully I realized how it was sabotaging my energy and making me feel worse, especially when I read any success story and when they say what all they did, that really triggers this orphan baby.
          That’s when my strong desire to surrender really cropped up. It feels so good to give up the control and bow to what is. I am learning to appreciate myself. I loved what our Gutsymama wrote. That is what we need to say to our own self, appreciate every little thing we do and that is how I am trying to build my faith.
          I did CD1 – new beginning and grand hall of faithfulness to remove the clutter and fill myself with faith last month. Felt really good post that.
          So don’t worry you are not alone in feeling so. At the same time, I hope my experience helps you a little.

          • RightHereRightNow says:

            GSD, yes, so often people misrepresent statistics. It’s such a manipulation and is so frustrating. I guess this might help explain why one person reports one ‘fact’ and another reports a completely opposite ‘fact’ about fertility.
            Pineapple, ML, I’ve had some orphan rooted fears lately as well about the long list of things that ‘needs to happen’ before I can get pregnant. Stress has made these orphans louder.
            My stress has been compounded recently. My husband and I didn’t get a vacation last year and this year we’ve been working a lot lately leading up to this vacation. As of tomorrow, we’re on vacation for 2 weeks and we’re heading to the coast to enjoy the ocean, the sun, lots of amazing food (including gluten -gasp!- and dairy -my goodness!-), and most of all, each other.
            I feel that I have a lot of stuck emotion and energy inside me. I look forward to releasing it, letting go, and surrendering.
            Thank you all for sharing your insights. I truly appreciate it, even though I might not respond to you in writing.

  11. RightHereRightNow says:

    Hi All You Beautiful Mamas!
    I really love the idea of a new name because of the rebirthing process.
    My new username will be RightHereRightNow because this is a constant reminder for me to live in the present moment. The past is done; I can’t (nor do I want to) rewrite any of the previous chapters in my life. The future is unknown but is unfolding as it should.
    I am exactly where I need to be – Right Here, Right Now. And I find peace and tranquility in this.
    As Julia reminded me on the call Monday night, I need to slow down and not breeze through this process. Enough of trying to get through this to get on to the next part. Right now is all I have – feel it, savour it, live it.
    PS, it’s Joanne.

    • Pineapple says:

      Hi RightHearRightNow, I simply had to reply to say I’m loving this new name of yours. You have literally redirected my boat of inspiration towards bluer skies!

      • RightHereRightNow says:

        Thanks Pineapple! Your name is great too :) It’s fresh and fun and delicious – everything that life should be!

  12. MiraculousLife says:

    Hi All
    I think i found my new name. I came across lots of names so far and this specific name “Miraculous life” really resonates with me. There is an orphan that is popping up head saying “what if you feel this life isn’t a miracle tomorrow after giving yourself a name?” and the answer my V conceived instantly was “Wow that’s a miracle in itself” ….LOL
    Feels so good and better. May be its all in perception.

    When I went to update my profile, I found interests field and I wrote “I want to be a mom”. Who doesn’t want to. Well that was my goal. I have finally changed it today to something different “to embrace life as it comes, to believe in myself and my not yet born baby and to learn to let go”.

    I guess I will stick with this name from now on.

    ML (oldname: MH) :)))

    • MiraculousLife says:

      And Happy 4th of July to all !!
      Can’t wait anymore for the vacation to kick in………my nephew who will be turning 1yr is coming to visit me for the long weekend. His first bus ride, plane ride. Oh my god I am beyond thrilled :)

  13. pineapple says:

    I really like the idea that there is a new name for a new me around the corner with a re birthing. Its inspiring to think that nothing is set in stone, that everything is developing, and changing, and unknown. I don’t see why the same rules could not be applied to every label and stereo type I’ve had thrown my way. My “old” shall become wise, my “low” shall become selective and my ‘pineapple’ shall become inspired by all you wonderful women.

  14. ConfidentBeliever says:

    I dabble around with many names. I was thinking hope or patience. But then i thought about last nights phone call and how I felt so confident. I am a mom. I took steps to become a mom. I took care of myself to take care of a child. I want to laugh and play and snuggle and cry. But as soon as I hung up. I was like way did I say those things. I jinxed myself. I was punishing myself for believing that good things could happen. And I dont know why I do that. At what point did I learn you should keep your wishes and hopes and dreams to myself?! So, my new name is Confident Believer.

  15. I always had trouble choosing names for myself, thinking about a name for my team, thinking about a new username for a website, and so on. I think it might have been because I would fear defining myself in front of others.

    So far, mi username for most of my social media accounts is a nickname my husband gave me “microco” which is short for little thing in Spanish. For this website I didn´t want to use it, somehow I didn´t feel it suited me anymore so I just chose my initials. After reading this post, I knew it still didn’t say much about me or my journey.

    Wanting to be a mother has taught me so many things so far I cannot feel anything but gratitude. Among all the things I learned, I think the most important has been my relationship with fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of messing up, fear of not being enough, fear of feeling too much, fear of loving, fear of living… I also learned I can be brave too, I have been brave in the past, and I want to be brave now to feel all the pain, all that I have to feel to listen to my orphans and learn how to heal them. I want to let all of these parts of myself die and give birth to my new self.

    Right now, I will only be as brave as to give myself a new name. When I thought about all of this, I was looking for something that would symbolize these feelings and remembered that Katy Caterpillar was my favorite childhood story. So my name now is “brave caterpillar.”

  16. Bailey930 says:

    I would like to revisit a name that Julia gave me when I went to Woodstock. T the “warrior”. At the time, it was because I came off as very tough sh@t, nobody is going to mess with me. I have given this a lot of thought over time and at some point came to realize that, in a lot of ways, this warrior was an orphaned part of me. Trying to keep everyone away and on the outside, so they couldn’t see the deep emotions and longing and hurt associated with this journey.

    I’ve spent a lot of time with Defend, Receive. And have really worked hard on trying to make myself vulnerable to people I feel I can trust and making an effort to allow myself to lean on them when I know I need support.

    At this point in my journey, I feel also like the warrior has come to represent the visionary part of me. That has kept walking, despite feelings of embarrassment, blame, and fear of failure. It represents the part of me that works daily on her control orphan, trying to realize that this is the one time in my life that something is really truly out of my control, despite all of the effort I’m putting into it. So T the warrior, with a still tough exterior, but big heart that I expose more often to this I can trust, is the new name I identify with.

    Not really sure I know how to change my username on this site. Lol But know that this is what I identify with.

    • MiracleHope says:

      Very nicely said “Warrior” :)))
      nothing came up to me instantly…….I was thinking MiracleMe, MiracleSelf……..but nothing is really resonating just feels like fabricated. So I will wait for the right visionary name to pop up.

      I could instantly connect with your “warrior” orphan. I had that orphan too to shove the vulnerable part of me away so that no one can see how i feel.

      • Bailey930 says:

        MH. To me you are the visionary mayor of the group. Always a loud strong steady voice. Always relating and connecting. Always honest and candid. So to me you are VM instead of MH in this moment.

        • MiracleHope says:

          Hehe…….thank you Warrior Bailey :)))
          Well till Julia mentioned yday about waking reality observations, it never even registered with me. I want to share my waking reality that I came across today.
          So I shared with one of my team members that I am going for IVF and told her about my journey. She was really cool and supportive. She mentioned that her sister just went through IVF and it didn’t work and that she was feeling very low. I immediately became our FH advocate, introduced her to Julia and OVUM tools. I explained to her how I was 3 yrs back, some striking shifts that I had and how OVUM tools helped me work with my emotions and feelings etc. She appreciated all the work and my frame of mind and how important it is in this journey. I gave her all the info to her and asked her sister to checkout the FH site and if she connects recommended her to go to Woodstock as she stays in NY

          Now the actual matter that I wanted to share is, my colleague shared her fertility journey. She got pregnant after TTC for 6yrs. She was diagnosed with tilted uterus and soome other issue with her husband and was told very strongly by several doctors that getting pregnant is out of scope and can never happen and to look for adoption. But her desire for children was so strong that under no circumstances she was going to give up being a mom and they started all the work for adoption. And one fine month she fell so sick that she thought she had some severe health issue. lo and behold when she went to the doctor, she was told she was 4 mon into pregnancy. She made it, naturally. And after another 3 yrs, she again got pregnant. Both times doctors said she can never get pregnant.

          I was super excited to hear her story. Its just incredible

          • WarriorBeagle says:

            VM(MH)….that is an incredible story. Must confess. These stories stir my jealous orphan, so thank you for bringing her to light. Like….YEAH….that’s great….BUT…..what about ME? When is my OMG I’m pregnant moment going to happen? Why all these other people and not me?? You know. I know you know. It does give some incredible hope that gigantic miracles do happen.

            Perhaps I will call myself Warrior Beagle….since it’s not just Bailey anymore….I have Hailey too, since this journey started. :) :) :)

  17. RachelSF says:

    I’ve been thinking a lot about names. Is it a coincidence that my biblical ancestor waited many years to have a baby? She yearned for one and had to watch as others gave birth to her husband’s children.
    Through this journey, I’ve felt more alive and radiant, and I’ve been sitting with the name Rae. It’s not so different from the one I have, but I like the connection to the ray of the sun, the radiance of my being, and the one-syllable that feels grounded and strong, and it happens to be an Egyptian god as well. Now my husband some times calls me Rae Rae (which is what Jackie Robinson called his wife, Rachel, supposedly as seen in the movie 42 about him)
    I am a magnificent miracle, and it’s a beautiful miracle that I found the IBOW work.


  18. gaffkt says:

    Love this post! I have not really given myself a good name on this site. I am going to start changing that now! I am going to ponder this and will come back and give my name. I would like it to represent the healing life I am working on and want to continue!

    • gustymama says:

      I have been trying to decide on a new name for myself. Going back and forth with different ideas. Then I decided today I wanted to honor myself a little. Honor myself for continuing my work even when it seems difficult. Honor myself for continuing to walk forward! I have heard Julia say many a time it takes GUTs to do this work. She is right and I am so glad I found the spark within myself to have the guts to do this. I want to combine that with the word I long to be heard said to me: mama. I want to be a mama. My new name now is: gutsymama

      • RightHereRightNow says:

        Wonderful name! I feel like I’m standing right beside you, being a gutsymama too :) The work we do on ourselves not only heals us, but it heals the world as well.
        PS, I think you should honour yourself A LOT. ;)
        Thank you.

  19. AmandaS. says:

    So true that it’s easy to forget all the miracles that led to my incredible life. I have a husband who is everything I dreamed of for many years and I love my job. These things didn’t happen overnight, I had to work for them. Maybe that’s the name I would choose, DreamerWorker. I like that name! Thank you for this post, Julia! (glad the posting problem is fixed)

  20. MiracleHope says:

    YAYYY……..Now the blog is accepting the posts :)). Okay I am posting what I had below

    Oh My God Julia !!

    I have a your blog on my name :)))))……… made me feel so special……….I just have no words.

    This can’t be a coincidence? I read and re-read the blog multiple times.

    Finally, after all these days, I had an amazing experience last night, my UM responded via a dream and my orphan finally showed up very vividly and pretty strongly and as I was struggling to make sense of what my next V self am I trying to birth and what does this orphan really trying to convey to me………lo & behold the very next morning you have a blog exactly addressing my inner feelings and giving me my clue to decode the secret behind my next V self that is ready to birth itself and is in gestation…………… indeed a HUGE MIRACLE.

    Almost from past 2 weeks my focus has been flushing toxins like doubts and pessimism out of my system inside out and filling myself with faith. To that I have added supporting ovulation where in I am relentlessly trying to empower my ovaries and all the cells in my body to believe in themselves that they can make a difference. I dont care if I am ovulating now or not, all I was caring was to empower myself and gain the strength to co-create a space for conception and to keep clearing the clutter.

    But almost over past couple of months, I got dreams here and there, which clearly showed I was still feeling neglected, out of place, odd man out, unnoticed, looked down upon, seeking attention desperately, desperate to walk with the sheep and be supported by kith and kin unconditionally to feel safe and I really didnt know how to handle this. This is one thing I just can’t take. So finally I feel like I am opening to this big dragon, which happens to be a small baby orphan, which is all set to birth into its next visionary and looking to be empowered.

    Thank you thank you thank you !!!

    Coming to name change Julia, yes I agree time to revisit my name. I will wait for the right name to come up :)

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