Off to See the Wizard: Who is Your Fertility Authority?

By on January 6, 2014

In the last couple of years, the NYT Fertility Diaries, has done a great job on mirroring how easy it is to get sucked into the black hole of the Infertility Industrial Complex.

Consider this entry on prepping for another round of IVF, titled, New Year, New Round of I.V.F., New Attitude. In this chapter of her story, Amy Klein has engaged the counsel of an energy healer. Worth reading if only to recognize the helpless kid within so many of us,  that hopes to be saved by the Magical Other.infertility mind body untapped

While becoming aware of our beliefs about motherhood, as suggested by Amy’s healer, can  certainly be useful, Klein’s piece reminds me of my own aha moment 20 years ago when I finally realized that giving away my power to “great healers” in Chinatown who would do the fixing for me, was not much different from giving away my power to the fertility specialists on Park Avenue.

Here is a short paragraph from The Fertile Female on this  very topic.

As I see it this is what doctors and healers are meant to do for us.

“Engaging consultants, whether they be physicians or acupuncturists or therapists, can be eminently useful as long as you don’t see them as anything more than your esteemed consultants and you don’t leave yourself out of the equation. The word “doctor” means “teacher.” In the best of all worlds the task of these helpers is to teach you to read your symptoms, to help you understand the workings of the remedies they offer, and to show you how to collaborate with the intelligence of your body.  Their task is to encourage self- trust.”  ( From the “The Authority Vested in You” chapter of The Fertile Female)   

Amy Klein’s next I.V.F. may or may not work. The troubling part is that she is missing the opportunity to  model for the millions of readers of her diaries the one precious lesson in fertility that could make all of  us and our common home on this little planet, more fertile: the power to create change in our bodies
and the world is in our hands. The incoming generations need mothers and fathers who will claim that power  and use it to speak up on behalf of the children they so fervently wish to bring here.

How and to whom have you given away your power on your baby making journey?

7 Responses to “Off to See the Wizard: Who is Your Fertility Authority?”

  1. Lori says:

    If this journey leads you to a reproductive medical facility it can be very difficult to stand your ground and go with your “gut” feeling. It becomes an environment conducive to you questioning yourself and knowing and trusting your body. The more I look deep within I am letting the “scientists” have less and less control. It’s a journey that I am cherishing as I continue to meet my baby halfway :)

  2. heather1975teaching says:

    I gave all my power to anyone ( literally, anyone) wearing a white coat who worked in the high-end fertility center I used to go to. I thought ” well… they are the experts, so I will do whatever they say because they know best”. I would wait ( in the clinic, by the phone, or on the exam table) like a little child hoping to be praised or feeling scolded AND being told what to do next.I have since switched clinics and made major changes that benefit me and changed my role in my own fertility journey.

    • I hear you, Heather, it’s such a temptation to have someone do our thinking for us, especially when we’re feeling vulnerable.

      • Miracle hope says:

        I can’t agree any more Julia & Heather !!!!
        The temptation of handing over the authority someone else is so easy & we fall into the trap even in our sleep…..whereas hearing our self is such a tough thing & there is such a resistance to be heard……even to believe I ask myself 1000 reasons & justifications, proofs on how & why should I believe myself…….as if I am doing a big favor…….This makes me wonder about human behavior & I am reminded of the 3 angels story, which is simply a superb story.

  3. Katy G says:

    I work in the medical field for petes sake and I am guilty of giving away my power to my doctor. In a way it was easy b/c all I have to do is show up for appointments and give myself injections which is somehow less painful than asking myself “why wont you change your lifestyle in order for your body to be more ready for a baby to come”. Now that is the question I have been avoiding for so long.

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