What about that subtitle?
I’m certainly not into pain as in unnecessary suffering. I’m talking about the temporary but unavoidable pain of healing. Because, you see, the orphaned parts of us are not afraid of the pain of not getting what they want. That’s familiar ground.
What they’re afraid of is the ache that rises up when after years of wishing to be found, someone—some kind, competent adult—deploys a search-and-rescue mission and finds them.
What we’re after in this challenge is the same aim we’re after in the Fertile Heart OVUM Practice: using specific elements from our toolkit (Meeting Your Child Halfway Videos, Imagery and Body Truth Audio Programs , the books ) to breathe through the contractions and birth that competent adult adoring version of ourselves.
The part of us that can be strong enough to feel, think, choose and act for ourselves and become our own kindest ally.
For the first part of this challenge, you’d be making a commitment to share your experience with the practice in the comments section of this blog as often as you decide to do so. (Please don’t use your real name, have fun with creating a username)
A more in depth review of the practice is in the document you received when you first signed up. A copy is on this Welcome! Page. But here is a quick recap.
- Choose one imagery sequence from any one of the course materials
- Articulate why we have chosen that particular sequence
- One Body Truth sequence (for this one you don’t need to clarify your choice, but do try to sample sequences you haven’t worked with before. Make room for surprises. (If you are including yoga poses in your practice, do your Body Truth prior to your yoga.)
- Conceive one self-adoring, Visionary rooted action you intend to take the following day
The point of this challenge is of course to observe with utmost compassion. Never, never, never, never do we let the self-blaming Orphan take the wheel.
Okay, resplendent FertileHearted Visionaries, let the love roll in.
We are supposed to share what loving thing we would do for our “daughter” or “son”. It brought to mind for me how my mother would care for me when I was sick. She would bring a white tray with a green leaf pattern on it to my bedroom. On the tray she would have foods best suited to my illness and bring me magazines to read so I could be as comfortable as possible while I healed. So I visualized that to care for myself this week.
So very beautiful, Robin!
I laughed until I cried. Cannot wait to laugh with my children.
I can see it! The laughing family…
I spoke on the call last night about wanting to give myself more space to feel ALL of my emotions. This morning, there was a rainstorm after many days of no rain. I went into my backyard and lifted my face to the rain. I let myself just move my body however it needed to move. I let myself cry, shake, and vocalize my pain and anger and grief. It felt so freeing! I’m going to watch the Visionary Calling to Be Born video and start with the Fork in the Road imagery, as you suggested Julia.
So great, Debbie, cheering you on as you keep walking on that freedom road!
Dear ladies,
I would like to share the wonderful news this week – my brother’s little girl, Helenka, was born on Saturday in Prague. She is very peaceful and beautiful and I can’t wait to go visit with them next week. This week I also decided to come out of the closet again, and share my visualizations with a colleague who was so excited about them, that it only made me sad I didn’t tell her earlier. And before the week ended, my husband heard that his sperm had come back after there were none, ten months after he finished chemotherapy to treat his lymphoma last year. I want you all to know that there is hope, after all, even if it seems a far off hope.
I am very happy and wish us all a peaceful week will with gratitude ahead.
Eva
My visionary actions this week:
1. Telling my doctor that I don’t need to know the sizes and numbers of my follicles at each visit. In doing so, I am learning to better trust him and his recommendations and I am helping my brain to not fixate on numbers and statistics, which it likes to do. It was a brave step for me and it also made me feel closer to my doctor, which is an issue of mind as I have general distrust for the RE community.
2. Listening to Dr. Christiane Northrup: http://thetappingsolution.com/2015VideoSeries/?page_id=21 I highly recommend this interview with her. Wow!
I am still doing A New Beginning, and I am also doing Healing the Heart (around past fertility treatments)
Thanks did the link! I can’t wait to check it out. I’ve been very keen on tapping and I’ve been meaning to give it a shot.
I meant thanks FOR the link. I’m posting from my phone and my autocorrect is too hyper. Haha
Hi Rachel
Thank you so much for sharing the link. It was pretty amazing and kind of touched on lots of subjects that we struggle with on a day to day basis, especially age related stuff. Also I like Dr. Northrup’s message on being in a community vs dealing individually.
Dear Fertile Ones,
It is such a blessing to be here. I did make a connection with neurofeedback and it seems like it could be worth a try and doable. We’re considering changing schools related to emotional issues of my daughter which may involve a much longer drive or rental of a new living space, so when things settle, I plan make an appointment to see if sleep can be improved.
Blessings to all.
I did the upgraded field of creation today morning. I decided to go late to the office and doing this felt like much needed compared to anything else in the world. I am feeling down due to acceptance issues again. Felt very nice to combine body truth and imagery together.
I have been doing 9 hearts for a while but I skipped doing it for past 2 days.
I just want to thank you to everyone on the European call this week. I found it so helpful to listen to you being so open and truthful. It was very powerful for me.
I am moving forward with “Gentle Jailbreak” as I’m calling it! (Gentle is such a lovely word I am going to keep saying it to myself). I’ve re-read Celestial Gravity too, there was so much there for me.
Once again, thank you.
Xxx
Thank you all so much for the European call last night. I came to it feeling like I’d lost my way a bit this past week and, unusually for me, couldn’t even bring myself to email Julia before the call to articulate what was coming up for me. But it turned out the discussions Julia had with Rachel and also Liz were so relevant and helpful to me and I gained so much from just quietly listening. I went back to my imagery this morning after almost a week off it – Meeting Your Child Halfway – and it felt good to be connected again.
Annabel x
You are most welcome, Annabell, thank you so much for checking in here!
I’m working with a New Beginning and Healing the Heart. The call today reenergized me and reminded me of why I keep joining these amazing, transformative calls. My visionary action is to join the RSS feed, but I’m not sure how. Can you let me know how?
Rachel,
The most recent Fertile Heart newsletter (dated Feb. 12) has a link in it that took me to a webpage where I could click and subscribe to the RSS feed. I tried copying the link here, but it didn’t seem to work.
Janeen
Hi ladies,
here is my contribution to our discussion, I post it here since I can’t seem to find the London circle thread. My discovery this week has been doing the Dance of Trust sequence n. 6 on Imagery 2 CD1 and the second sequence was selected by the shuffle function, so it was different every time. At first, it bothered me that I couldn’t control it or choose the second sequence myself. But later I became more open to not knowing what will come – and it deepened the level of my trust in the process, my body, my husband’s body and life in general.
I highly recommend it to enhance your practice, and see what happens. Let me know, what it felt like for you, if you want to do so.
Eva
Dear Fertile Ones,
You all are doing awesome work. This is a wonderful blog and question and I just wanted to support your work.
Ruth Hegarty – That is amazing with your blanket of reassurance.
RubyJ – Good for taking visionary steps. Wonderful walking.
Heather – Great for hearing and being compassionate with your oprhan.
Katy – Great punches.
FindingFaith21 – Yay for being inspired by more positive reports about your mom.
Veronica – I like your boat travel.
ChristyME – Yay for naps and yoga.
miraclehope – I hope your neck and shoulder get better.
Lori – yay for relaxing.
Openhearted – Good luck with your child’s behavior. Good advice at any age.
Bailey930 – Yay for the belly.
Blessings to all!
Robin – yay for you!!! You are awesome.
Hello All You Beautiful Mammas! Thank you for sharing this special part of yourself – I feel so blessed to be in such amazing company.
I’m in week 2 of my cycle, so I’m healing with Supporting Ovulation right now. Today my body truth fertility drugs are Defend, Receive and Soul on Fire.
Ever since discovering FH last year, I’ve wanted to be a ‘fertile heart success story’. I’ve wanted to share my story of triumph, belly pics, cute anecdotes of our new baby, and words of encouragement to everyone here and beyond. My visionary rooted action for today is to acknowledge and truly accept that [although I am not yet pregnant] I am already a fertile heart success story! I have changed my diet, my perspective, my practice and my holy human loaf in a way I never could have imagined.
Thank you all, and thank you Julia :)
Did ladder of light again and an orphan climbed out that I haven’t seen in a very long time. It was my I’m afraid to get fat and pregnant orphan. Thought we were wayyyy past this. Guess not. Was triggered by seeing the Thanksgiving pregnant person (many of you will remember from my forum posts) looking very large at the Super Bowl party I went to. I actually commented to my husband that I want to be a cute pregnant person, not a fat pregnant person. Trying not to dismiss this orphan as ridiculous and to hear her feelings as valid.
My visionary rooted action today is that I actually made the call tonight. Was determined to do so, even though work and the weather were crazy.
Well Bailey makes me nostalgic as I had a slightly different orphan who felt embarrassed to have a big belly. I mean when i started FH work, I hated to get that image of big belly. I had this feeling from childhood. Took a while for me to notice it and work on it. Now a days I keep checking every pregnant belly trying to see where it starts and ends so that i can imagine mine the same way..lol
I did rock the body but that didn’t seem right, my body still has something to say. I want to try the field of creation upgrade as my orphan is jumping into action. will try it out tonight.
MH. I think your note got into my head and then helped me find another orphan. :) I woke up this morning with a feeling like I had a dream that I was pregnAnt, with a big belly, but couldn’t remember the dream. And it was a nice, warm, calm feeling. And then I suddenly did remember. And it was a little weird/upsetting/confusing. I was at least 8 weeks pregnant and I was getting an ultrasound. The lady that was doing ultrasounds all day went home , because she had done. 80 of them and was exhausted. So Another lady was filling in. She did the ultrasound and we saw the baby and yolk sac. And then there was a giant face that almoSt like photo bombed the picture. It was a boy and his jaw bone seemed to indicate he was abnormal. Cue my “afraid I will have an abnormal child ” orphan.
Did ladder of light right after the dream recall. Two orphans climbed out. Afraid of having an abnormal child and afraid of getting fat and pregnant. I feel like I just moved forward. So thank you MH for the push.
glad I helped Bailey :))
Still doing Mirror of Truth – today the mirror was a dept store dressing room mirror instead of my bedroom mirror. Very interesting as I HATE those mirrors, but yet it’s what came up and I worked with it. I think my UM vision is getting stronger so I want to keep with this for a bit. AS for BT, today I did Rock the Baby. I haven’t done it in so long and it was just what my body needed My anger orphan has been very loud the past few days and after shoveling/snowblowing for over 3 hours today rocking myself was a true gift. My V was to allow myself an hour to just veg out on the couch and watch a silly daytime talk show where I didnt’ have to think about anything.
Good morning ladies,
Tonight I will switch over to mirror of truth but this morning I am still working on a new beginning as I am dealing with a number of angry/overwhelmed orphans.
I went lingerie shopping with my mom yesterday and ending up buying nothing as I felt very unfeminine and less of a woman ( my orphans decided that since I cannot get pregnant somehow I am less of a woman than others). My visionary action today is to find ways to reassert that I am feminine and fertile.
Any suggestions on imagery? I was thinking of maybe doing both woman and unconditional gratitude for BT.
How about Palace of …” adjusting the Palace of Truth and filling in any word that’s for you connected with being feminine. I”d be interested to hear what words you come up with.
Dear Heather……how about “soul on fire” body truth. I had similar feelings in the past and never liked doing soul on fire ,but it is pretty erotic :) and makes you feel very feminine…haha I don’t remember of “Woman” BT, as to what is in it.
Yes MiracleHope, soul on fire is very erotic and great for connecting with the sensual female inside!
Heather when I was feeling similarly overwhelmed a few weeks ago I found ‘Palace of …’ very helpful.
Today has not been the most visionary day ever. I have felt just a twinge of being under the weather. I am finding that focusing on being my own cheerleader – positive,etc, is helpful. My next most visionary step is to see what my body needs to get back to feeling better.
Blessings to all.
i continued supporting ovulation imagery and did unconditional gratitude body truth
one more thing I finally did was start reading the book
“29 gifts in 29 days”. It hit the spot so many times so far.
bailey – thank u so much for suggesting me to read this book 4 months back. o am doing it finally
Oh wow. Good for you. It’s a greAt book and a great exercise. Let me know how it all goes.
Today’s visionary action is making a nettle infusion. Using Land of Haves still and now seeing how I was calling it halves before…went for a brisk walk today too. It felt really good
I wrote under another blog how I had been doing “Lifting the Burden” for a while, and how it was permitting me to put some thought into being more environmentally conscious.
Today’s visionary rooted action: ordering my first set of “Gladrags” (re useable menstrual pads). I wish I’d done this sooner, but I am happy I did it today!
I know the sort of Mum I want to be: time to start being that person!
I’m still doing Supporting Ovulation, and Field of Creation. I think tomorrow, I will start Mirror of Truth, because I’m seeing myself as too old to have kids. I’m embarrassed about my age and I hate every single sign that I’m growing older because it’s proof my baby days are dwindling. I need to feel young and vibrant.
I did Unconditional Gratitude this morning because I was feeling really blessed and happy. It seemed to be good. Still struggling with BT, though. Tonight I’m doing the first 10 minutes of the intro, per Julia’s instruction.
Yesterday’s V action was a two-parter: I went to yoga class and did a headstand. Loving inversions! And I went on a date with my hubby to my friend’s birthday party. Sure, I talked too much and ate too little green food and too much cake. But it was so nice to have an adults-only evening. Another perk of my mom staying with us for a while—babysitting! So it was a nice evening out. Tomorrow, I will research juicers. I have a Vitamix and I love it, but I’m thinking adding a juicer to the mix can only be beneficial.
Dear Fertile Ones,
My visionary rooted action for today was to continue to do positive – something to work on – positive with my daughter and myself. I also did a tennis ball back massage. I felt badly about not treated myself wonderfully yesterday but it helped to get back on the positive, etc. – being my own cheerleader instead of criticizing myself extensively. My next visionary rooted action is to listed to some of Current of Creation.
Blessings everyone.
Tried an imagery today I’ve never done before. Ladder of light. Had two orphans climb out. One was about five years old and was the “I don’t want to go to this Super Bowl party tomorrow, because I am pretty sure my now non drinking cousin’s wife is pregnant.” Valid feeling. Acknowledging it. The other physical form has shown up before. It’s twelve year old me with pigtails in a green checkered dress with an apron. It’s the “I’m so overwhelmed with work and everything else in my life, I just want to kick And scream. And want someone else to take care of it or get me out of this situation.” Breathe little orphan and make a list, like we always do. Both orphans did climb out.
My visionary action tonight is that I am going to get dressed up and go out for drinks with my husband. And just be happy in the moment that we are in.
Today’s V action is getting some quality exercise in!
I don’t see my comment posted from yesterday, but when I check this blog on my phone it is there? Ok, I will repost and forgive me if it shows up and I’ve repeated :)
Yesterday I did Mirror of Truth – when Julia asks to imagine yourself with a big belly I see myself doing a (tasteful – you know, covering the bits and pieces, lol) nude pregnancy photo. It was really a beautiful image of my pregnant self. BT was Welcome Home and I am really enjoying it. My V action was to finish putting together my Total Gym and try a few exercises out. It was really good to awaken my muscles. I also took my dogs for a short walk in the snowy, but pretty weather. It was actually quiet peaceful
For today, Mirror of Truth( I really need to stick with this one) and got some good images of myself through my UM. BT was wailing wall as I’ve been a bit angry the past few days. My V action was a workout! and tonight I will go to the movies with my friends – it’s one of my favorite things to do and haven’t gone in so long. I don’t care how cold it is outside, I need a night out :)
I actually did take one of those artsy-fartsy preg shots when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I have it hanging in my bathroom (my favorite room–it’s pretty and quiet and my “time-out” spot. ha ha). Thank you for reminding me that I love that photo so much and how amazing it felt to take such a gorgeous pic. Because since my miscarriage, I’ve looked at that photo with anger and sadness, not as something I had and loved, but as something I will never have again because I’m too old and my eggs are shot. You’ve inspired me to try Mirror of Truth again to see how that feels. Thank you, my friend.
Today I continued with Mirror of Truth.. When Julia says to see yourself with a big belly I saw myself doing one of those nude pregnancy photos.. Of course covering the bits and pieces lol… But it was really beautiful image of my pregnant self. :). BT was Welcome Home again and I’m really loving it.. It feels like home. My V was to finish setting up my Total Gym and did some exercises on it.. Felt really good to awaken my muscles and I took my dogs for a short walk after work even thought it was snowy .. It was peaceful .
I love EVERYTHING about this post Lori!!!
On the teleconference call Julia recommended to another caller to do “Blanket of Reassurance”. Because I could identify with some of her feelings I decided to try it for a few days too.
My visionary rooted action was not consciously done. At the school I work at the students are doing a photography project. I was asked to choose a photo with a story to explain to the students. For some reason I was drawn to choosing a very old photo from around 1895 of my Great-Great-Grandfather and Grandmother, Great-Grandfather and all his siblings. I emailed my aunt to find out some stories about all these relations.
I read my aunt’s reply this morning, I learned that I was related to a famous play-wright by marriage, and how the sisters took care of each other’s children when illness and death struck. Then I got up do my visualization, and had this spine tingling realization as I sat under my blanket to do “Blanket of Reassurance” that some of those women’s stories had reached me!
Since this journey began I have become very interested in the non-linear lines of my family. The aunts, uncles…
I was very moved by Julia’s video ‘Three’. I’m sure we all have ancestors we need to claim. What I learned a little this week is to that I don’t need to control. I should try and just trust that I will get on and do what I need to, sometimes with awareness, sometimes not! I just need to be open and receptive to seeing the connections.
Blanket of Reassurance has led me onto Claiming Your Inheritance – which is a very interesting imagery exercise for me right now.
I just want to say that when I first listened to Blanket of Reassurance I thought it was an ‘easy’ one almost ‘cheating’, despite the fact I was drawn to it. Actually it turned out there was a lot more there for me than I could have anticipated. This has made me reflect that my inner guidance (UM) does know the safest way to draw things out.
Thanks for sharing. I have found it really helpful reading others thoughts.
Yesterday I ‘received’ a massage. I wanted to just relax and enjoy it in the moment on not put expectations on what it should do for me (fix my back for example). It worked. I was able to just be in the moment.
Today was sunny so I took a 20 minute walk. I have been using Julia’s phrase – “drop into the heart.” My mind is usually so busy and so as I was walking, I was reminding myself to drop into the heart and let the brain with all of its thinking and worrying rest for a while.
I started White Flower imagery (from CD 1), placing the flower in my upper back, where I carry a lot of tension and anxiety.
Good morning lovely ladies!
I am working with A New Beginning and Possibilities in my imagery practice and Unconditional Gratitude in body truth.
I have been dealing with some anger issues and resentment towards myself and others ( that my orphans perceive as having it all/taking it for granted and still wanting more OR those that according to my orphans have not experienced true longing and suffering).
I had this moment last night in bed after being intimate with Brian where I thought to myself, “what is the point of laying here and letting gravity work- what’s the point anymore of even trying”.
My visionary action for today is to work with my orphans and try to, once again, be gentle with myself. And Breathe. And be thankful for what I do have. And Breathe again.
Hello all! My visionary action today will be taking a long hot bath after work today. this week has been brutal at work and need to chill tonight. I am working with Land of Halves per Julia’s suggestion and it is very helpful. I see a very dry desert in the first part of the imagery and the second part with visionary I see a lush green landscape with waterfalls. Big difference! I am really committing myself to body truth at night and am playing around with some different ones. Last night though I was so frustrated (mostly work) I was throwing punches in the air ..rocky style! It felt great! Really looking forward to monday’s call!
Katy – I didn’t point this out the first time you posted it…I wondered if you’d notice. But you did it again this time. So
we can see her, hear her and adore her.
The imagery is The Land of Haves, not Halves. Katy, can you have it ALL? Or just half? A lovely little “slip.” These fertility
meds really work, don’t they?
Rocky got it all, so sounds like you’re on your way…
OMG you are right! ANd in the imagery I heard it as Land of Halves! Holy cow! Thank you for pointing that out. I did not see her :)
My imagery for today was again Supporting Ovulation as well as Possibility. My mom’s latest health crisis showed me that statistics are not predictions. When it comes to our bodies, so much goes into the mix that anything is possible. I’m trying to remind myself of that daily. Still struggling with BT. I tried the first half of the guided meditation and that was nice. I may actually revisit Field of Creation again, though, for my imagery. I’m struggling with the fear orphan again, and she’s starting to crop up in a lot of areas of my life, not just my fertility. I may need to see what’s going on with her. I can’t tell if I keep circling back to FOC because I need it, or because I’m in a rut.
I flaked on Visionary actions today. Well, I did curl up in bed for about 10 minutes and finish a book (which wasn’t that good, but I really wanted to be done with it), so that might count. Tomorrow, I will go for a walk in the morning. I am really liking the way so many of you are focusing on being still and breathing, just being in the moment. I may try that on my walk. It’s good to get out of my head.
I envy the walk you are taking today as we have almost 2 feet of snow here :( I think , maybe tonight I will take even just a 10 minute walk in my neighborhood to enjoy the beautiful snow… that will be my V for today. :)
I love how you were able to use your mom’s recent medical experience to learn that statistics don’t always promise the outcome. Our bodies are capable of so much more when we believe .
Heehee–I’m actually really jealous of all of your snow and chilly temps! I hate West Coast winter weather. I’m like the Morticia Adams of weather–I’m only happy when it rains. ha ha. Seriously–I get cranky when it’s sunny and hot.
It’s still stunning to me that my mom is a living (LIVING!), breathing example of how our bodies are so much more than statistics. If she can beat pancreatic cancer for the time being, what’s to say we can’t meet our babies halfway? Right??
I plan to do BUSY BEING BORN imagery and ROCK THE BABY body truth. I chose these two because I want to birth my baby naturally and want to keep walking towards that.
My visionary rooted action is to go with the flow, be in the present moment. Keep flowing down the sparkly river calmly on my boat, doing my thing without being pressured to do this or that on someone else’s timing.
I was so close with my visionary rooted action today. I had, in the past at work, tried too hard to be the “golden child” who can do everything perfectly in a short time frame (so much stress I had been putting on myself), I wanted to give myself more time to do the work, and not feel pressured to finish something. I had been doing really well today, up until the last 30 minutes of work. I need to learn to say ‘no’ when I know I won’t be able to finish something.
Dear Fertile Ones,
I’m still working with positive something to work on positive with myself and my daughter. I got a little discouraged today but after hearing my orphan, the UM helped my to gain inspiration from a wonderful teacher. My next most visionary action is to continue the positive, etc. and try to do one thing to be my mommy to myself. Today at least I was able to meditate a little.
Blessings to all.
Mommy to yourself is the key Robin. You’re giving so much, it’s time to take more!
Thank you so much, Julia. I need to hear someone say take time for me.
HI Everyone:
I have started on “Jailbreak” as my imagery this week as I need to break free from my sick/endometriosis/infertile/incapable orphan and find my path towards my longing. I find myself reluctant to come out of my jail cell but once I do I’m in this beautiful wooded path with tall grass, lots of sunshine, and blue skies. I have been hanging out with this image reaching the object of my longing usually a naked perfect healthy baby smiling and waiting for me.
I have been learning from you all. Thanks MH for the idea of doing body truth in the mornings. I have started this and it feels so good and energizing. I have been working with the Welcome Home BT. Its very calming. I have also done the Imagery a couple times on the BT CD and its incredibly healing.
My visionary rooted action today was taking a long nap with my 4 yo daughter. She was home sick and instead of searching high and low for a babysitter I decided to stay home with her and rest myself. It was very nourishing. I have also been trying to do a few yoga poses in the morning and at night along with my body truth.
Cristy
How sweet to be able to be home and snuggle w/your little one! I think that’s a great V action!
That’s a great idea to try BT in the mornings. Maybe that’s why I’m not connecting with it? I do it at night and it’s more like a get-it-over-with exercise because I’m tired and I want to watch TV and go to bed. Thanks for the tip!
Today I did guided meditation and added supporting ovulation to sacred choices.
I have acute neck and shoulder pain all of a sudden and hence my V action for tomorrow is to take vacation from office & rest a bit
MH – I find I hold ALL my stress in neck and shoulders.. treat yourself to a massage if you can :)
Thanks Lori, I just went to massage a week back …..i hope she did it right :)
I have to admit, I didn’t do anyt
Today I continued with Mirror of Truth. I am enjoying working with my image of myself and then erasing what is the orphan view of myself and replacing it with the UM’s image of myself. I think I have probably been needing to do this one for quite some time. For BT, I did Welcome Home and it hit the spot! Just moving and breathing is really a key experience for me and something I need to dig deeper into.
For my V rooted action, today I actually did a few. I took advantage of a 3rd snow day and relaxed in bed this morning watching tv. Felt so good!! Also I began to set up the Total Gym I recently purchased – can’t wait to get my body moving!
Mirror of Truth sounds perfect, Lori. Congrats on the Total Gym!
I love all the beautiful things going on in this blog!
I am still working with field of creation and wailing wall. Other orphans are popping out behind the selfish/bad mom orphan. The angry orphan and sad orphan today my orphan was just sobbing during imagery no one else around just a smaller version of myself. It felt so honest and true and I did not need to stop.
I have been sitting with myself daily digesting the ins and outs of life.
We have been struggling with our 4 year olds behaviors and we really set a tone this week for what we need to do as parents and how we need to parent better.
So my visionary step for today and tomorrow is to try to focus on the good things, show her love, and be patient at times of upheaval.
Hi everyone
This week I am going to keep doing Field of Creation and Hall of Forgiveness. For body truth, as of this morning I started doing Let it Be.
For visionary-rooted actions, I am going to try to find some work clothes that don’t feel like armor. And I think I will buy myself a stuffed lion. :)
I’m excited about joining you all in this challenge.
My visionary action for today is allow myself some failures today and not beat myself up for them. Also had a round of blood work completed this morning just for testing…unsure I will be moving forward with any treatment yet but whatever the results I am promising myself a round of body truth tonight!
My visionary action today is to treat myself to a delicious green juice at my work’s juice bar!
Drinking it now, yum!
Ok. Have been doing canopy of compassion to deal with a difficult work relationship. My canopy has popped up on the beach in Aruba and I sit with this person in beach chairs, with the sunset shining warm on both of us.
So I did it again this morning and a second difficult work person popped up. Same scene. And then, I looked down and I had a big pregnant belly in a bright red bathing suit and there was a curly haired little blond girl playing in the sand, along with a beagle. Like my perfect life, conceived through addressing difficult relationships. Feels like I opened a portal. Interesting.
Anyway, my self kindness today will be to walk away when one of the aforementioned difficult people acts up. I engaged yesterday and wasted far too much of my precious time and energy.
My imagery for this week is Choosing Life, as I have just started my first round of natural cycle ivf, so I wanted something to support me in that, visualising the coloured jewels of follicles. Today I chose Unconditional Gratitude as my Body Truth – I always find this a powerful one, and I wanted to remind myself of how much there is to be grateful for. I’m early in the IVF cycle so no specific orphans have come into dramatic action yet, but I’m aware, already, with the scanning and the waiting for blood test results etc, of my tendency to feel a bit nervy and contracted around this, so wanted to bring in that beautiful expansive energy of Unconditional Gratitude.
My visionary actions for today are:
-being aware of when I get contracted, or start going off on a storyline in my head and and feel into it, breathe, soften, try and release
-spending an hour with my best friend – always a great tonic
-I’m home alone tonight so will enjoy cooking myself a delicious healthy meal (including quinoa & roasted vegetables, home-made beetroot humus).
Hello everyone. Wonderful work everybody! My visionary rooted action for today was continue the positive-something to work on- positive approach with me and my daughter. I’ve found out that part of me needs my mommy so I did some more tennis ball back massage.
Blessings to all.
My visionary rooted action for today was continue the positive-something to work on- positive approach with me and my daughter. I’ve found out that part of me needs my mommy so I did some more tennis ball back massage.
Blessings to all.
My visionary rooted action for today was connecting with a friend and making plans to see each other. My action for tomorrow will be to take a walk outside (20 minutes if sunny, only 10 if cold and windy).
I have continued with Field of Creation imagery and am still working mostly with the lost orphan. That seems to really connect for me. I am also continuing with Jailbreak. I’m trying to see the face of my jailer. The person seems faceless.
I did “Rocky my baby” BT, felt so good and just did sacred choices, simple and a lighter one. Just feeling very tired, hence I decided to just rest of today and not exert myself.
Today I did Mirror Of Truth because lately I don’t like physical self very much. When using the soft silk cloth to wipe off my image in the mirror to reveal my true self, I see who I am on the inside. I have been struggling with this for a very long time and I think I might stick with this one for a while. My V rooted action was to meditate for 5 minutes to practice connecting my mind to my body. It felt really good to recognize and feel the energy in my body.
Today’s body truth. Defend receive. Continuing to work on the unclenching. And releasing my shoulders from my ears.
Today’s visionary action. Keeping to my workout routine, even when work gets crazy. Today was barre class, with the 69 year old woman (former ballerina and bodybuilder)I work out with in small group classes. She is an inspiration and positive energy force that makes me believe anything is possible. I am so much better mentally when I get up and leave on time and go exercise with her. Even if I have to do a little work in transit or at home later. This is my guilty pleasure and my way of recharging and taking care of myself.
I finally contracted the icky cold-flu going around.
I plan to keep doing THE PLAYGROUND imagery but do the OUT OF THE TRAP body truth. I chose these two because I want to be more happy imagining my baby, and not so miserable, thinking “why am I not pregnant yet?! I did all that I can for so long!” My visionary rooted action is to enjoy the positive in the present moment and take care of my body.
Today I’m still working with the nine hearts imagery, but I’ve also added healing the heart.
My body truth for today is unconditional gratitude.
My visionary rooted action was that I made myself a large green smoothie this morning for breakfast, along with an egg and avocado. It was delicious and nourishing.
I’m on day 2 of my cycle… Go Team! :)
Wow, it was hard to pick a visionary-rooted action for today. I got the news yesterday that the embryo I miscarried was a genetically normal girl, and since then I’ve had orphans coming at me from all sides — the self blame orphan, the “what if” orphan,” the “it’s not fair” orphan, the “should’ve been” orphan. So, in addition to Rock the Baby and Heal the Heart, I’m going to pick two times today, preferably during the work day, where I will hideout somewhere and just breathe. I’ll count twenty breaths each time, and for those 20 breaths I will just be.
Tanya- I am so sorry for your loss. I admire your strength so much… take care of yourself and please know we are all sending you hugs and love.
Thank you so much, Heather! I really appreciate the support.
So sorry T. Sending a big hug. You must have been far along for them to have been able to test. Been there and you have my empathy. Take care of yourself and leave space to feel whatever you feel.
Thank you for the hug and support, Bailey–I can really use it today!
Here’s a hug from me, too. My embryo wasn’t tested, but I still partied with all of those orphans you mentioned. I’m so sorry. I never understood the devastation of a miscarriage until I experienced one. Just know we are all here for you.
Today I am going to make every attempt to ” be still” and calm with myself. I woke up very upset but could not figure out what I dreamt. I woke up panicking that my eggs were no longer good and that they would be impossible for sperm to even get near.
I have been using A New Beginning and Unconditional Gratitude from BT ( thanks Julia- it was just what I needed).
I realize that one thing I really need to work on is my ” hurry up ” orphan. I feel like I am always in a rush, a hurry, a sense of panic. I feel like if I don’t take care of something now or resolve problems they will overtake me.
I am going to try and take lot of deep, steady, calming breaths today and just be aware.
Today’s visionary action (since I forgot to write last night) is I am heading to the store today for some green lemonade ingredients and will make one for myself today
Sounds great, Katy! Please remind me on the circle that I wanted to bring up something linked to your work and your healing protocol, okay?
Sure thing! Thank you Julia!
Hi Mamas:
Today I did Supporting Ovulation imagery this morning before I started back to work teaching. I’m beginning my fertile period and I am getting all OCD looking for clinical signs I’m ovulating. I thought I could use this medicine to support myself at my core and then just let it all be. Tonight I will be doing Field of Creation again. Tomorrow I will pick a new imagery; I’m not sure what will feel right, though. I’ll explore it in the morning.
I flaked on my Visionary action today. I started back teaching, and we were rushing around picking up kids, getting back from work, taking Mom to the doctor, buying milk. So I haven’t really taken any time to nourish myself today. I think I will have a mug of hot Ovaltine before I got to bed though. It seems really comforting. But my Visionary action yesterday turned out to be pretty good. I decided to stop focusing on what’s wrong with me and looking for all the signs that I’m 5 minutes from menopause and instead look at all of the things that physically prove I’m still very fertile (like I’m still having a period). It’s slowly but surely helping.
Tomorrow, I have big V plans. I will take a yoga class in the morning, and I will explore the introduction to the BT CD, per Julia’s recommendation. I’m looking forward to working through my barriers with Body Truth. I either feel nothing when I work with the exercises, or I just feel angry. I don’t think I’m utilizing the tool very well. Thanks again, Julia, for the guidance!
FF21- Your post reminded me something my aunt and I discussed recently as I was having a
” flat spin ” moment. I was lamenting my fear of going into and/or already being pre-menopausal. She reminded me that was she actually was pre-menopausal when she got pregnant naturally at 42, giving birth a few weeks shy of turning 43. She reminded me that your body is constantly surprising you. Also, my regular Doctor ( not my OB-GYN) was 42 when she gave birth. I am working on the same thing you are about focusing on what’s right with my body instead of what is ” going wrong”. Still a work in progress.
Amen to all that. Especially the ovaltine. I raise my hot chocolate to that. ;)
Dear Fertile Ones,
My visionary rooted action is continuing one good thing then one thing to work on and then one thing going well to say to myself and my daughter. Also being more calm – not shutting down orphans – just when there isn’t a tantrumy orphan around, being more at peace. Sleep needs more work. Thank you so much and blessings everyone.
Today I got my period after a 70-day cycle. I was exactly 6 weeks late. My last day 1 was Nov. 18, 2 days after the Fertile Heart workshop in Woodstock my husband and I attended. I have been scared for the last few weeks to get my period; not so much because it meant I wouldn’t be pregnant, but because I was fearful of losing trust in my body. I didn’t want to feel like it had let me down. What I felt today was not what I had feared; what I felt instead was a wave of compassion washing over me, a sense of hope that I can begin again, that my body is beautiful and fertile and working as it should. I felt a strong Ultimate Mom presence, and it comforted me to know that everything is going to be ok. I’m a little sad, but not too much.
The imagery exercise I’m working with this week is nine hearts, and I feel now that I should continue with that, as it’s a hopeful and soothing exercise. I’m going to do the rock the baby body truth exercise. My visionary-rooted activity for today is that I will begin to use my Buddha Doodles gratitude journal that I got for Christmas.
So much gentleness and self-loving kindness is coming through your words, Joanne. Thank you for sharing this.
I am still working with field of creation and I decided on wailing wall as I am struggling with anger this week. I feel like there is this angry part of me that just wants to jump up and down and scream. She feels pissed that no one listens to her and she just wants her space. I found a place within me that does not want to have another child. It hit me a few days ago and I have been wrestling with this.
I feel like this is an orphan related to the above. A little girl that wants nothing else then to point her sail in her own direction and do this with no one directing her or getting in her way!
Any input on imagery or body truth! I feel connected with Wailing wall and while doing field of creation I see this little girl she can be throwing a tantrum or just still backed into a corner hoping no one can get to her.
Visionary rooted I am finding quiet time and focusing on my breathing.
Yes! to quiet time!
This week I am using Room of Fear and Mirror of Truth as my medicine. Room of Fear as we have decided to go back to the western medical route, and I have a lot of fear around the process and I judge myself at each result I get. My ‘numbers’ were the worse they’ve been, even though 2 months ago they were great, it just moved in the ‘wrong’ direction, and I was so sad. I want to go through this process w/o judging myself every step of the way based on the results of tests. So, Mirror of Truth is where I see the ‘old’ version of myself and this morning the blood and follicle count numbers were pasted all over my body and one egg cracked on the floor and I wipe that image away.
I did Speak your Peace for Body Truth, as I do want to live in the truth, and I want to live with it without the orphan judging and being disappointed and letting that disappointment move through me.
My Visionary act for myself today is to sit with my husband with our meditation group and have a set time to live in the present and seeing life as is without the added mental analysis…at least for moments at a time.
Sound good, Rachel, say hi to the Judging Orphans from their cousins here in Woodstock!
I started doing body truth before I go for work and it feels awesome. I did “Welcome Home” BT today and while allowing my body to speak it ended up in elbows first.
Currently I am flooded with energy, which is making me highly restless and overwhelmed. Trying to calm down a bit.
I switched overnight from what I decided to work on to “Claiming your inheritance”. Appears to be the perfect medicine as I am working on my identity crisis and acceptance orphans. May be I should just add “White flower” to slow down.
Coming to V actions lots off late, which in fact became a habit now (fingers crossed):
Daily herbal infusion
Daily juicing (thnx to my hubby he does that for me, I just have to drink)
Today’s V action – will practice my music minimum for 30min and go for minimum 30min walk
Sounds like it’s time for soothing and calming imagery and Body Truth. While Flower, Sacred Choices, Fertile Soup.
BT: Rock the Baby, Unconditional Gratitude, Current of Creation meditation (you can do just part of it)
Sure Julia, thank you !!
MH, Let’s also work a bit on the circle with the idea of “identity crisis” that you feel you’re going through.
Beautiful topic for us!
Thanks a lot Julia, that will be wonderful !
Hey lovely ladies,
I have been working with A New Beginning but I am struggling with what to work with in Body Truth. Wailing wall was moving but overwhelming at the same time. I am working on slowing down and surrendering to what is. I find myself somewhat relieved the vitex threw off my cycle as it allowed me the opportunity to take my time dealing with my AMH results rather than rushing off to the next fertility wizard. As it turns out, my vitamin D was in the deficient range so I have started supplementing, so in a weird way the vitex-cycle- debacle gave me the opportunity to take a step back. Any suggestions on a healing body truth… I am looking for something that allows me to express myself but without anger or frustration… I want to be gentle with myself right now.
Unconditional Gratitude?
Hi All,
I forgot to post last night before bed, but I’m still continuing on with Heal The Heart and Rock the Baby. My visionary-rooted action for today is to pick a chunk of time during the day to be fully present. No thinking about miscarriages or trying for another baby in the back of my head. I just want to be fully, wholly there. The time I’m choosing to do this is during my daughter’s bedtime routine. Often, as I’m singing to her my thoughts will drift elsewhere. But tonight is going to be just about her and me, and the love that we share.
–Tanya
Hello!
My choice of one imagery exercise for tomorrow is THE BACKPACK.
I chose that particular exercise because I want to make sure I’m not longing for this baby to fill a void I may have in my life, and to really see what my beliefs are of what a mother/parent is, so I won’t pass my orphans on to my child, as my parents had to me.
My one Body Truth sequence is: DEFEND/RECEIVE. I want to continue working on protecting myself from people who continuously want a piece of me when I cannot or choose not to give. I don’t want to always be expecting others to do the worst to me. I want to be able to stand up for myself when the situation happens, not constantly be on the defensive. I want to stand up for myself with no guilty conscience. It’s not about hurting others, I want to do what is best for me, instead of considering everyone else’s needs before my own. I want to be proud of me, and be a good role model for my future baby.
My one self-adoring, Visionary rooted action I intend to take the following day is to do some research on how a strong woman behaves/thinks.
Dear Fertile Ones,
My next most visionary action is to do Circle of Protection Fertile Heart Imagery – that sounds very supportive right now, and continue something that is going well, then something to work on then something else going well for both fertility for me and for my daughter in her life. This is proving a difficult assignment for me, but I like it because it really makes me stop and think about what I am telling myself.
Blessings.
Wuhooo !!!! Thank you soooooo much Julia for cracking the issue!!
Very very very weird to see this happening. But may be this is a miracle :)))….I need to learn something from this incident
Love it, MH! There is no doubt in my heart that this little tech glitch was a gift for both of us! I
got to fix things I don’t usually need to attend to…and you…well you know best your side of this unfolding story.
Thank you for your patience throughout.
Crossing fingers to see if this post gets added to the blog !!
I chose to work with field of creation and meeting my child halfway imageries, currently wrestling with “Identify crisis” orphan and the orphan that feels its stuck in a quick sand.
Picked “Speaking your peace” body truth for last 2 days.
One more question i have is that if I could add the words “I don’t want to know my identity when I contract” and “My fertility and when I have kids is not my identity” ?
From V action standpoint, I cooked Yam and sweet potato, dear lord, its sooooo yummy and at the same time will boost my progesterone. Had no idea what I have been missing all these years :)))
Hi Everyone:
I’m still working with Field of Creation. While my Mean Bitch orphan took a day off today, the Angry orphan was back, along with the Jealous orphan. The surprising thing was, the Angry orphan was also mad at herself/me. I’m not sure why. Perhaps because I’m doing all of this work and my body still isn’t cooperating by growing a baby, or because I’m not doing enough, or….? I’m not sure how to figure that one out.
I also have been alternating between Possibility and Supporting Ovulation. I may pick another main imagery to work with tomorrow, but I’m not sure yet. I may just stick with FOC.
I’m having a terrible time with Body Truth, though. I just can’t find anything that feels right. Wailing Wall didn’t even work. I’m thinking Welcome Home might be worth another go. Any ideas here? I just feel pretty lost with this. Julia, can we talk a bit more about Body Truth next Monday in circle? I think I need some guidance.
So for my Visionary action today, I will spend some time writing in my journal and I will call to book my massage. Thanks for the ideas, ladies! Tomorrow, I will try to do some yoga at home. I have a fertility yoga DVD that I like.
Hugs to you all! Everyone back East, stay warm and safe through this latest storm.
Yes, absolutely K. we can talk about your struggle with Body Truth, but here is a suggestion: Listen to the first 10 Minutes
of the introduction on that CD. The Human Body as the Ultimate Compass, and share on this thread two quotes that resonate with you.
Email me after you have posted them here, to make sure I don’t miss it and we’ll take it to the next step from there. What
do you think?
I love it!!! Thank you, Julia. I’m going to do that asap. I really appreciate the advice. I’ll email you as soon as I post.
Here they are:
“Station WOB–the Wisdom of Buddha–is broadcasting all the time. But we can’t have access to that wisdom without a receiver.”
“Who we are, our ancestral history, our creativity, our relationship to the invisible world of the imagination, our degree of participation in our own healing, are for the most part not included in the equation.”
Congratulation, K.! But you need to get to sleep earlier than this:)
Ha–so right!! Guilty!
I tell myself that every morning. :-) I’m such a night owl.
You are a fluid, changeable fertileheartedhuman, K! Staying up late if you feel it doesn’t serve you, can be a resplendent side door to the Orphanage and as such another clue on your path.
Last night I completed “welcome home” body truth for the first time ever. I tend to stay around the same 3-4 body truths but decided to step out of my comfort zone for a new one. I was kicking and shaking and just releasing I think a ton of frustration and feeling like “IT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN”. I am about through a weeks worth of New Beginning and now I am looking for an imagery to help me let this orphan speak. thinking of turning back to field of creation.
As much frustration as I feel and as much I am completely unsure I will EVER be a mother to anyone other than my dogs I am continuing to walk. I just hear in my head from Julia “never ever ever blame yourself, you will be giving yourself too much credit”. trying trying trying
Katy, how about Land of Haves? Also, remind me in the circle or before to talk about a particular way of “upgrading” Field of Creation
Thank you Julia! I will try land of halves! I meant to write in my last post tomorrow I will be reading some of the FH success stories particularly for over 40 :)
I would love to hear that, Julia! Field of Creation is my standby, and sometimes I feel pretty stuck in it. It would be great to learn how to upgrade it.
Katy, thanks for sharing, you explained how I sometimes feel to a T, I too wonder if it’s not meant to happen…
BUT I just realized (again) that is the orphan speaking. Which also reminds me of what Julia said “observe with utmost compassion. Never, never, never, never do we let the Judging Orphan take the wheel.”
I sometimes forget that it’s the orphan speaking, and to remember that I need to continually use compassion when dealing with him/her.
I’m looking forward to hearing about the upgraded Field of Creation.
I chose to do Healing the Heart because I recently experienced a miscarriage. When I got to the part where I removed the thorn from my heart, I immediately felt like, “Yes! This is exactly what I need.” I’ve been resisting the grief and the feelings, and I’m thinking this is just the thing to begin to let myself truly feel — because as much as I resist it, the only way to heal is to actually go through the grief. My visionary rooted action for today was that I went to a yoga class this morning. When I do yoga, I feel such peace during and after practice, but I hardly ever make time for it. This morning I spent one hour and fifteen minutes dedicated solely to me and my body. It was wonderful.
Beautiful, Tanya, I clearly remember the moment I conceived that particular imagery for a client.
So glad to hear it hit the spot for you. I get that Body Truth is scary for some of us, but it really is
a powerful fertility drug.
Thank you, Julia! Also, I forgot to mention above that my chosen Body Truth for this challenge is Rock the Baby. I’m going to keep things as gentle as possible for now.
Tomorrow, my choice of one imagery exercise is The Playground.
I chose that particular sequence because I want to continue longing and seeing my baby in my mind, to continue giving myself a positive mindset in this journey.
My one Body Truth sequence is: Child’s Play.
My one self-adoring, Visionary rooted action I intend to take the following day is to watch some videos of babies or children playing.
Yes, yes, yes, Veronica! Keep going nice and slow. One imagery, one Body Truth. Keep making more and more room for your gorgeous self.
Hi Everyone:
I love reading the wide diversity in everyone’s visionary rooted action. Yesterday my visionary rooted action is asking my sister to watch our daughter and went out for a much needed date night with my husband. We talked about some of our possible next steps including the possibility of pursuing IVF. It felt good talking about it and expressing our concerns about it. Funny how we share the same concerns. I’m not sure if IVF is our path but I feel like we took one step in the right direction by talking about this. Its something that either of us really don’t want to do and are both scared about. I think that discussing this further and exploring our orphans around this topic together will be a visionary step to take this week.
Today I will completed the body truth meditation along with continuing with Field of Creation and Out of the Trap body truth.
My next most visionary step is taking one of Heather’s pieces of advice for children. Thank you so much Lori for also helping with the encouraging a child at school analogy. I am absolutely loving this. So the piece I am working on is telling myself something that is going well, then noticing an area that can improve, then finishing with something that is going well. As well as with fertility, I am giving thought to applying it with my daughter. Thanks everyone so much for this. I plan to look at other pieces of this beautifully supportive advice/story.
I am going to work with Field of creation for the week. I had an orphan pop up that felt selfish. I am so open right now and feel connected with myself that I worry I am going to loose myself in parenting, being wife, etc. I think I tend to give and give and I am trying to find a middle ground.
Visionary rooted step: spend five minutes daily before or after imagery to just sit with myself and get grounded if need be.
This is a great idea to spend time after the imagery. I was thinking last week that it might be helpful to me to add time before the imagery. I was thinking how Julia opens our phone circles with lots of welcoming words and reminders to breathe, etc. and I think it makes me more open for the imagery that we practice during the calls. But I like the idea of time afterward to to ground myself.
My visionary rooted action is such a blessing to me delivered by wonderful angels heather1975teaching and FindingFaith21 – wonderful lessons for how to support a child who is struggling to learn. So now I am translating that into giving myself visionary words for fertility and as well for support for my daughter. Thank you so very much!!!
Blessings to everyone.
XOXO, my friend. You are doing great!
Today’s Visionary rooted action is to sing and let my body dance to taylor swift’s new song “shake it off!” I need to learn to shake off pushy people and do what makes me happy! I will do “soul on fire” and “the playground”
My visionary rooted step for tomorrow is to be honest with some things going on in my life. I’m always keeping to myself because I’m scared to be open and vulnerable to others. But I think I need to be careful who I open up to. Maybe I need to be able to choose the right people who will support me in life.
I will do “Speak your peace” and the “Doorway to the Expert within”.
Yes, Veronica, knowing who can and cannot support us, is an important piece of the journey. So is the courage to open to another person and
trust that we have the inner resources to “survive” her/his response. Whatever it may be. To protect is not the same as to defend.
You’re so right, it’s just as you say, Julia. I was brought up to think of others before myself, so it’s been a bumpy ride of learning who is good for me :)
I’m more aware now…but there is still much for me to learn! I’m looking forward to continue learning, so I can get closer and closer to my baby.
I was able to open up to my friend a little today, about my journey. She was very supportive and told me she knows it’ll happen for me. It’s nice to receive positive energy from someone that I trust.
Veronica so glad you shared that. Sometimes I feel like the only one who does not want to be completely vulnerable! Just know you are not alone in this journey and being afraid to open up as well. (I so hear you!)
I loved what Julia wrote – I needed to hear that too.
Loving all the ideas of visionary actions on here! I think for tomorrow my visionary action will be picking a new chapter of fertile female to re-read. I am not sure which one yet but will pick it up tomorrow and see what calls to me!
I always do Supporting Ovulation imagery. I do this one because just as I found FH and began the practice I went 2 months without a period. I of course, feared perimenopause (still do) and once I attended Julia’s workshop, I got my period 5 days later. I since have been doing this imagery to remind myself of the creative potential of my eggs. Lately I have tried CD 1 -Possibilities. I like this one because it’s to open to the possibility of receiving what you long for.
What I did for myself today was yoga. In the midst of a small snowstorm, I still made myself go and it was blissful! Tomorrow I will find one hour to do some reading. It’s something I keep putting on the back burner and I literally have a stack of books I’ve been dying to get to.
Kudos to all of you going for massages! You know, it’s funny, I have a major massage orphan. I go about twice a month as I hold all my tension in my neck and shoulders and it’s truly a release for me along with being pleasurable. However, I always feel guilty going. I think that’s because my mother never did anything for herself; hair, nails, massage, etc. and I guess I feel that a massage is a luxury. But then I need to tell my guilty orphan that I work hard for my money and I have no one to answer to! We ALL deserve to self indulge!
Hi Lori,
I can really relate to the massage orphan. I feel it is a luxury, and my husband gives me a hard time about what it costs, so I end up going only very irregularly. I too hold all my tension in my neck and shoulders. I’m so glad to hear the massage is so helpful for you. I have been spending more time in our hot tub (not too hot) as that seems to help me with my tension as well and have been trying to take time to be kind and generous to myself. It is a wonderful shift of focus to think about how to tenderly care for myself!
J
Maybe if we think of it not as ndulgence, Lori the magnificent, but as self-care…
Hey there everyone- I am still using circle of protection and wailing wall. My visionary action is to take a step back and think before I act. I recently got my vitamin D results back and they were in the deficient range. I decided that I will take the time during the day to stand in the sun and simply enjoy nature.
Great idea Heather!! I was out cleaning up from a snowfall, preparing for our impending blizzard and put my face up to the sun for a few minutes today. It was a gorgeous day (calm before the storm) and I just soaked up all the vitamin D I could! It only takes a few mins every day to do that, even in the cold and it makes you feel so good :)
Visionary rooted step for tomorrow slow down and enjoy the day! Speak up for what I want, but also remember that other peoples orphans can be met by visionary!
Aaawesome, love this, T., thank you!
Dear Fertile Ones,
Yesterday was a big challenge day for my daughter. My next most visionary action the last few days has been to use 2 tennis balls in a long sack and lie on my back on them and massage my back with them. Another area I see as my next most visionary action is to be a better cheerleader for myself instead of letting the over-critical part of me be in charge!
Blessings to everyone.
Oh my goodness, Robin! I am stealing the tennis ball idea! I love this. My back is such a hot mess, I have to see a chiropractor about every 10 days. This self-massage would be wonderful to help ease my kinks. Thanks!
Yesterday I did Field of Creation and met a different orphan than the one I was expecting–the Mean Bitch orphan. She is scary, like those “Mean Girls” from the movie. Very beautiful, very cutting, very intimidating. It’s hard to deal with her when she’s telling me “You are way too old for this, don’t be an idiot. You are just in denial, wasting your time.” I need to work on how to help her. My UM wasn’t very helpful yesterday. I will try again tonight.
Rock the Baby didn’t do much for me. I’ll try Wailing Wall tonight.
Today’s Visionary action will be to paint my toenails. Why not? Might as well have pretty feet since I don’t have a big belly obscuring my view of my toes.
I am working with the Jailbreak imagery and having trouble really feeling engaged with it. I can’t answer the questions: How does it feel to be incarcerated? Do I want to be free? Maybe I could try focusing more on my intention for the exercise before I start. I will try that.
I decided to try Field of Creation which we worked with Monday night and that was an intense experience in which I was very emotionally engaged. It does help me I think to work with the imagery in a group and be coached through it by Julia. I think my creativity is pretty stifled right now, so maybe that makes it hard to get going with new imagery on my own. Any thoughts on that?
Perhaps this is more of a message for the forum boards, if so let me know. I have not used the forums and don’t understand as much how they work.
I think this is a great question. I often feel the same and struggle with this. Sometimes it’s like I’m just going through the motions and not really feeling the imagery.I have been trying to just not think when I do the imagery, and let things pop up. That sometimes works well. I wish I knew more ways to help me fully utilize the imagery. I do have more luck with Field of Creation, though. Sometimes, I pause the CD so I can let things unfold a bit more slowly. That helps.
Maybe try sticking with Fiels of creation for a couple days to a week. Some days you may not connect as much. I see this in my own practice especially if I am on a hurry in the morning. Hope thus helps!
Thanks OH!
MH, I think scheduling a massage appt. is a wonderful visionary action and I choose that as well for tomorrow’s action! Thanks for the good idea!
J.
Still working with Jailbreak!
Visionary rooted step for tomorrow, continue to ask what I need from others at work! Find joy in little things!
OK, here it goes. I’ve been so excited to get homework, and yet I find myself procrastinating the actual doing of the homework. Hmm. That’s interesting. But I will keep walking, one step at a time.
1. My imagery exercise: “Field of Creation.”
2. Why? This is my old stand-by, and while I wanted to choose another, back-to-basics one from CD 1, I feel drawn to FOC because of my latest orphan. The “Fu** it” orphan and all of her don’t-give-a-crap attitude and bitchy demeanor needs me right now. I need to hear what she has to really say, instead of all the insults and smack she is blabbing. I can see her (she’s beautiful, bitchy, very stylish, chain-smoking, scary, bitter. But I can’t determine yet what she needs.). I figure I will toss in some of the simpler imagery on an as-needed basis while focusing on FOC for my main practice.
3. Body Truth: Tough one!! I seem to always let BT slide. I think today I will try something soothing, because I feel pretty burned out and crappy with this cold. Maybe “Rock the Baby?”
4. Visionary action: I did one last night–I brainstormed a list of Visionary actions! ;-) So tomorrow, I am going to write about my imagery and BT in my journal, as well as whatever else comes up. I haven’t been writing lately (and I’ve been using the forums instead of writing in my journal), so I think I need to get back to basics and revisit my journaling. I’ve done that since I was in the second grade, so having abandoned it since my M/C is possibly a clue as to why it’s taking me so long to feel good again. I’m missing a vital part of what makes me me: writing.
Also, I’m thinking I am going to move my imagery to the morning instead of at night. When I wait too long to do my imagery, I tend to fall asleep! Not effective.
Dear ChristyME, mraclehope, FindingFaith 21, Veronica, Openhearted and Katy,
ChristyME – Wonderful for helping the homeless children.
miraclehope – Wonderful for accepting the visionary challenge.
FindingFaith21- I hear your stay up late orphan.
Veronica- Circle of protection is wonderful
Openhearted -Wonderful for building a healthy relationship with your husband
Katy -Wonderful for your husband’s imagery!!
Blessings to all!
Hi Everyone:
I will continue with the Field of Creation imagery. I think that I am finally beginning to see the “orphans,” acknowledging that certain behaviors/feelings are just orphans and not and not reality either. This is very freeing. Today I planned on having time for imagery but instead went to acupuncture and made a pot of lentil soup, yum!. Tomorrow my visionary rooted action be doing an indoor cycling/yoga class which I love.
Hello FH sisters,
My imagery is circle of protection… and your beautiful images are very present! I have felt so supported by you all and it really helps to reinforce that I am not alone on this path.
My body truth is wailing wall- which is so hard for me- I tend to want to simply ” move on ” and brush aside my anguish and grief. My intention is to embrace it and use it a healing tool.
My visionary rooted action is to treat myself gently and take a step back from the idea of running, literally, running to an RE’s office in panic and hysteria and just simply be still for a moment.
Amen to that sista.
Thank you Julia for the phone call and for being my helper Monday night in the imagery to take my orphan’s hand and help her to the side of fulfillment.
I really struggle with strengthening my visionary self, so this is the right challenge for me.
I have chosen to use the Jailbreak imagery. I want to free myself from the ‘shoulds’ I have in my head concerning religious beliefs. I want to give myself the freedom to feel, think, choose, and act in this area of my life. It is very scary place for me, but it is a key piece to healing for me.
The visionary action I conceived is to work on clearing some of the clutter from my bedroom. I think it could help clear some space in my mind.
RubyJ,
Clearing out some clutter to help clear some space in the mind is such a great idea! I’m going to have to steal your visionary action until I come up with one of my own. Lol! :D
Joanne
This challenge comes at a very timely spot for me, as I was feeling like I needed to pick a new imagery exercise. I pulled out all of my CDs and was initially wandering around in the nine hearts section with It’s All Good. But when I went back to record it down to me cell phone (easier for me to listen to in various places), I stumbled upon Canopy of Compassion, which I had never heard before. And it led to a “shaman” connection that I realize I was needing to make. (Funny how the universe works sometimes.) As I had mentioned on the boards, I had identified a pattern of work dreams that had deeper feelings related to my journey to my child. But what Canopy of Compassion made me realize was that there was another “closer to the surface” meaning to my dreams. There is a difficult person I deal with at work, who I struggle to apply perspective to, as this person sometimes says things that I choose to interpret in a way that hurts me. A good friend of mine has been helping me try to understand where these comments may really be coming from. And I really feel like Canopy of Compassion will help me further this effort. It’s a beautiful imagery that joins us all in the human struggle. As I always say to people…it’s important to be kind to people always….because everyone has a struggle.
And So that will be my visionary rooted compassionate action today. To take a deep breath and be kind to this person in some way today. As hard as that may be. And then celebrate the fact that I am a truly kind person that sees past hurtful things people might say and tries to understand where they are really coming from. And that this is the kind of person my unborn child would want to have as her mommy.
And I meant “shazam” connection. Not “shaman”. Damn autocorrect. Lol
Julia, thanks for this challenge and for encouraging us to focus on the visionary as well as the orphans. I wanted to mention two imagery sequences that I plan to do tomorrow: Supporting Ovulation because I am finally starting a new cycle again after almost 60 days and I know that my ovaries need all the support they can get and Meeting Your Child Halfway, because this imagery gives me hope and reminds me to look toward the future and imagine what I want my life to be. It is also helping to get in touch with the longing for a child which I don’t always feel. For Body Truth, I will try Wailing Wall which I have never done before. For my visionary rooted action, I wanted to mention one that I took already, that I made an appointment for my first acupuncture session! I have been feeling like my body needs more support and I hope this will help. For tomorrow, my visionary action is to make time to do my juicing in the morning before the day gets too hectic so I remember to take care of myself first.
Sofi,
Juicing is an excellent visionary action! Every sip is a big, fat snowflake. That branch is going to break!
Joanne
Keep taking good care, Sofi, both of those sequences are some of my favorites.
Hello everyone.
I am choosing 9 Hearts Fertile Heart Imagery (Imagery II) because I like it and I just want to open myself to what happens.
My visionary rooted action for tomorrow is to say:
Dear Body. I adore you. You are incredible and full of promise and possibilities. What can I do for you today? (This is something that you said, Julia, the Ultimate Mom would say to us.)
Blessings
Robin- that is so beautiful- I am dealing with the whole ” my body is betraying me yet again” orphan. I love what you said to your body. I think I may borrow your words while I re-learn what I love what about my body.
Heather
You both just kind of gave me goosebumps. Great perspective.
Dear Robin and Heather,
I’ve been working a lot lately too on loving my body, each tiny piece and everything as a whole. It isn’t easy at times, especially the beginning, but the more I do it, the more comfortable I get and the better I feel. Let us all keep going on this wonderful path of love, discovery, and creation!
Joanne
Yes! to staying on your chosen path, until of course, it’s time to change direction. Not because someone tell you to, but because it’s the next
V-rooted choice you’ve conceived.
Robin, I like that you chose that imagery, just because you like it! Love it!
Hello Most Fertile Mommies:
Thank you Julia for this inspiring homework. Just two days into the challenge and I have been having more vivid dreams and seeing my orphans more clearly. Tonight, I participated in a healing service at my Church tonight which I hadn’t gone to in many months. One message which really struck me in tonight’s service was that of healing oneself of mind and body in order to not only become closer to God (UM) but also carry out her good works. I thought about how this resonated Julia’s message of healing ourselves in order to not only birth a better self but a better world. I felt a push to sign up for a service project providing activities for children who are homeless that will be staying at the church next week. I’m sure that I will receive more nurturing than I will give.
I wanted to say that I have continued to work on the Field of Creation. I received a strong and clear image during Monday’s call that I wanted to continue the work. I found it to be very healing and empowering. Yesterday after the imagery I got this overwhelming sense of gratitude. I have been also working with the Wailing Wall body truth and releasing some pent up fear, panic, and grief.
Tomorrow I plan on continuing with the imagery and body truth. My visionary action for tomorrow will be attending an acupuncture session and completing the guided imagery on the Body Truth CD.
Thank you everyone.
I can’t tell you how timely this post is Julia ! The word “Judging orphan” and the phrase about “when the orphan is afraid and when is it not” hit the spot for me.
Believe me Julia, I compiled an email to send it to you to tell you I found a new orphan & an old buddy, who is “judgmental” about a given situation or what is or is not possible for me and slowly perpetuates this thought to my wholly human loaf and influences at every level. this same orphan decided last month that my cycle and my body were behaving weirdly (during the cycle itself), i was not seeing what I expected, so I judged that ovulation went for a toss and decided mentally i won’t be pregnant. But when my period got delayed by 10 days this orphan was in a panic mode and under a lot of tension. I thought it was expectation orphan. The moment it saw -ve result and bleeding, it felt at ease, there was a sigh of relief, which I was in denial with,I just didn’t want to encourage that thought. I was unusually calm and kind of normal (knowing how depressed I get every cycle) and that’s when I was wondering is it orphan rooted action or am i fooling myself thinking it is visionary rooted. i could feel a pinch of sadistic pleasure when I saw the -ve result and a thought passed by ” I knew this result, I told you….and I WAS RIGHT…”. I have validated my orphan feeling and let the orphan win. This one was so subtle that in it was right beneath my V and I couldn’t see her coming.
This morning I challenged myself to open up to this orphan and resume body truth as this whole month I didn’t do body truth thinking I am orphan free. And lo and behold, I see your “Visionary Challenge”. How can this be a coincidence? This is truly a wonderful miracle.
I AM IN and will give my 100% to this challenge.
And I am betting that this challenge will give 200% back to you!
Thank you Julia!
Today I did out of the trap body truth and I picked “Inside job” imagery to hear those orphaned parts of me clear and loud and also make my V strong.
Why did I chose: There are orphans trapped and subtly getting their stuff done under disguise, time to send the rescue team ….wuhoo !!
Ohh please add this message too
“My V rooted action, I will schedule my long pending massage appt tomorrow.”
Yes!!!
Funny!
PS: Tell Ed his photo is fantastic! How I love autumn!
Love this, Julia! It’s a new year, so what a perfect time to renew our practice with some back-to-basics work? I’m so ready. I have a lot of trouble hearing and seeing the Visionary, so this work will be good for me. A lot of times my Visionary-rooted action is “I’m going to stay up until 1 a.m. binge-watching shows on Netflix.” I tell myself it’s my me-time, but really, it feels more like punishment when I’m dragging myself out of bed the next morning, rushing and frantic in my attempt to start the day on time. So I really need practice honing those Visionary-rooted actions. Maybe by walking this path I will figure out how to walk out of the orphanage?? It gets frustrating for me to hear the Orphans, know what they are doing, but not know how to help them or walk out of the prison I keep myself in.
Just take one of them by the hand, K. and take one step in the direction of freedom. How about choosing one imagery that speaks to you.
You can do this at your own pace, but choose because then you can observe your response to that choice. Compassionately. And then build on it.
This is helpful Julia, because I also have trouble choosing an imagery exercise. What if it is the wrong one! I always seem to ask myself. But your advice here is to CHOOSE and observe. And be compassionate with myself. Thank you for that encouragement.
Yes, dear J., that’s what we brave mamas are learning how to do: feel, think, choose, act – for ourselves.
Thank you, Julia! I’m going to try and do just that. Who knew being gentle and compassionate was so difficult? I so need this challenge right now. Hugs to you, my mentor and teacher and inspiration!
I love this post and challenge. I was glad to hear you say that we were going back to the basics, because once I began dealing with my orphans, other orphans started to appear that I’ve never dealt with before (didn’t know they were there). I think this work is starting to get to the core of my issues, the “Boss” level, if you will. I’m afraid to feel the pain of it, but at the same time excited to find out what it is (and take loving care in handling her once and for all! :) )
1. Choose one imagery exercise: My one imagery exercise is “Circle of Protection”.
2. Articulate why we have chosen that particular sequence: Ever since Julia asked me to get a lightsaber to protect myself from the rays of light, it has helped me tremendously. I imagine myself blocking the hurtful rays and I feel powerful, and I get through the imagery safely every time…then I started to envision people trying to bite my fingers off for some reason. It pops up in my head a few times a day. I can’t make sense of it, perhaps it is because I feel that I am always being attacked, that people want a piece of me and want me to be hurt. I wanted to find an exercise where I felt protected.
3. One Body Truth sequence: I felt befitting to choose “Defend, Receive”. Although I had tested it once before, I have not incorporated it in my practice yet.
4. Conceive one self-adoring, Visionary rooted action we intend to take the following day: I will choose one gift card for myself that I have let pile up. I can’t figure out why I tend to keep them instead of use them, maybe because I feel undeserving?
Thank you,
Veronica
Veronica, keep claiming your power. You ARE powerful and really brave. I hope you keep claiming your power.
Hello Julia~! Happy Thursday.
Thank you for what you said, it means a lot to me. I feel that you see things about me that I don’t see or know in myself.
I want to be a person who is not easily taken advantage of. I want to become a strong lady who can stand up for herself, at the same time, be a person who is very compassionate.
I plan to continue with the same two imagery/body truth exercises for tomorrow for the same reasons. My one self-adoring, Visionary rooted action for tomorrow is to take some private time for myself and do what feels right to me, for as long as I feel like.
The imagery I have chosen is jail break. I choose this to open up to the fear that resounds within me. My visionary rooted action is to Choose to feel courageous in regards to decisions not feared!!! For example What I want in relationships with my spouse and family. I also read the book 1000 Gifts so their is a joy dare to count 1000 gifts in a year three gifts a day. They have included things like 3 graces from people you love or 3 sounds you hear.
Today I have tackled my visionary rooted action. I told my spouse I needed more affection from him as an orphan was brought up yesterday in relation to my birthday and how my dad can never remember it or how old I am thus reminding me how much I lacked in healthy relationship with males.
Letting the love roll here!
OH
So happy to hear you’re asking for what you want, OH Keep asking…
Yea for love! and Yea for shout outs to our husbands! I loved that your husband was mentioned in this Julia! One of my visionary action for tomorrow if ok that I steal this idea but a shout out to my husband! He has been quietly starting to use imagery. Not the imagery on the CDs but ones that he feels comfortable with. I think something he liked very much in the woodstock retreat was “imagining one moment in an ordinary day in the life you long for”. He is seeing a Chiropractor right now so when he is on the bed he is imagining me with a big belly! (He shyly told this to me one night!). SO I cheer him on tomorrow but in the path that feels comfortable to him not the one I design for him. For myself I continue to practice is patience and not perfection. Give myself the space to use my imagery before work and at night and alot of time when I get home from work to use body truth – I think that is the time I need I the most! Confession: One area I think I need more practice is body truth. So I will take the time tomorrow to really practice.
My imagery is from CD 1 – New Beginning. I choose this because it is a New Beginning for me. Choosing new actions that feel sorta dangerous..but I am doing them anyways. Julia was right – choosing actions that feel dangerous do loosen their hold on you the more action you use in that direction. I am really starting to enjoy challenges so thank you teacher for this one!
I’m all for a shout out to our partners!! Steal away, Katy!
One visionary action I am choosing for tomorrow is more sleep. I am running low on good sleep and I feel like this will help my tired body. Tonight I will go to bed 1 hour earlier. I was actually trained in Reiki too so I am thinking I might give this as a treat to myself tonight as I go to bed earlier.
I did not do body truth last night. I will make this a priority when I get home this evening.