Unexplained Infertility, Unexplained fertility & Billie Holiday

By on August 14, 2012
Photograph of Billie Holiday singing.

“Hush now don’t explain, just say you’ll remain”

When Unexplained Infertility is the Lucky Hand You’ve Been Dealt” is the title of the new video I uploaded yesterday. And now I find myself walking around the house singing the sultry Billie Holiday song, “Hush now don’t explain, just say you’ll remain”…Such a sexy tune!

No, Billie is not talking about unexplained infertility; she’s talking to her lover. Nonetheless, she has something to teach us about infertility and fertility.

The unexplained infertility/lucky hand video is really as much about unexplained fertility, as it is about sharing some of my views on this confusing term and diagnosis, so exploited, and mishandled by the mainstream one-size-fits-all trajectory of IUI’s, Clomid, Femara, injectables, and IVF fertility treatment methods.

It’s disheartening to meet so many women who are cajoled into fixing what’s not broken and end up breaking what in some cases can be a lot harder to fix. No, a lot harder doesn’t mean impossible, especially if you hit the Fertile Heart trail. But wouldn’t it be nice if when it came to our exquisitely designed Holy Human Loaves we paid more heed to that old maxim of not fixing what’s not broken?

Our desire to understand why this heart-wrenching life challenge, this alleged unexplained infertility shows up in our lives, is a healthy impulse to follow. To keep exploring the reason for our difficulties; to patiently attempt to unravel the mystery of the unexplained diagnosis is a worthy task to take on.

The Fertile Heart™ Ovum Practice

It’s what the Fertile Heart™ Ovum practice is all about. Every imagery exercise and Body Truth sequence was conceived as a divining rod, a homeopathic remedy meant to elicit a physical, emotional, and soul-shift within us that would bring the baby an inch closer.

But to think that explaining it means controlling the outcome of this mysterious event called the creation of life, is not only arrogant, it reduces this challenge into a mechanical, fully explainable phenomena.

I meant it when I said in The Fertile Female that we can decode many of the mysteries of our infertility diagnosis and we would be foolish not to try. But I love Billie Holiday reminding me that lovers return, and babies can arrive long before we understand what it is that made conception impossible yesterday and lo and behold yes, oh, yes, possible today.

As always, I’d love to hear your feedback or comments on the Unexplained Infertility, Lucky Hand video (click to watch). And if you have experienced unexplainable mysteries small or large on the baby road, would you share a story or two?

12 Responses to “Unexplained Infertility, Unexplained fertility & Billie Holiday”

  1. Kristin21 says:

    Julia, Thank you for the is very inspired video. Over the past year of doing the fertile heart work and engaging with the many orphans that have come out of hiding and coninure to come out of hiding, I realise more and more that the mystery of my body and of creation holds the key to conception. The more I become my true self – courageous to speak my truth, the more compassion I feel for myself and for those around me. By staying engaged with myself in my body truth and imagery practice, more is revealed to my every day and snowflakes of healing come at very unexpected times. Life is a mystery and the more I live and love in the present and see that silver balloon inflates with all my efforts towards meeting my baby half way float off towards the source of all life or UM, I realsie the letting go is so important! I keep telling myself, just stay with it…trust, believe, remain open to receive and beautiful experiences continue to guide me along the way each day!

  2. sunnymoon says:

    Hi Julia, every word you say in this video and also in your books makes so much sense to me. Such a refreshing approach to fertility issues..Since I joined this community about three months ago and started the OVUM practice, I’ve come to a place of hope and action from one of despair and impotence. At times I can’t help but think that if only they found something wrong with me I could be fixed and everything would be well, as you say in your video. But this could really be a once in a life time chance of truly getting to know myself and living the fulfilling life I so much yearn to live. I wasn’t expecting it to be piece of cake and, as you know, participating in the 1st session of your European Phone Circle on 10th Sept, made resurface some old orphans that were never fully taken care of. But I feel that this is for me the right road I’m travelling over. While doing the homework you gave to me and listening to the Room of Fear, some clues about my relationgship with my mother came up. So, if possible, this is one of the things I would like to work on during our next phone circle Monday 24th.
    Thanks very much Julia for what you do, the hope and better lives you give to women, the risks you take and your courage.

  3. swati says:

    Julia thank you for sharing this post. I’ve come to appreciate the “unexplainable” on this journey and the OVUM tools have helped me learn just how important and interesting that part of this journey is. The mystery of this journey while at times has been frustrating and disappointing, has also been one of the most human experiences I have had and fornthatnInam grateful. Thank you for all your support on this wonderful journey.

  4. Mandy Queally says:

    I am a woman, and now mother, who was dealt that “lucky hand” of unexplained infertility! What Julia speaks about in her video and in this blog rings so true to me, and to all those that can find the strength to understand this journey as a gift. We tried for nearly 4 years to conceive, and plodded through the fog of infertility treatments, dozens of doctors, websites and books. It wasn’t until I fully accepted the Fertile Heart work and listened to my WHOLE being – physical, emotional, and mental that I began to really see this journey as something that could positively change my life.
    I have a 10 month old amazing baby girl, conceived naturally and when I least expected it!
    My work with Julia, the OVUM practice and the fertile heart community of women not only helped me to become a mother, but helped me repair years of broken and suffering pieces of my childhood that I believe were lodged within me and were hindering my ability to get pregnant. No doctor ever asked me about my emotional state during my many consultations- only about my physical state, and what could possible be “wrong” with my organs or hormones.
    My four year journey (though terribly painful at times) led me to my daughter, led me to be a better and more prepared mother, and has led to better relationships with family members, and a better understanding and appreciation of myself. I am so grateful for this journey now.

  5. sim says:

    I posted on the message board but want to make sure you see this Julia. This is such a great post especially for me. I’ve had three failed IVF’s. I won’t repeat my story here. But just to say that you’re right on the money and I LOVED the video. It made me laught which I didn’t think I was capable of anymore. I’m just also wondering if you could comment on my elevated FSH after 3 Failed IVF’s. Have you seen that happen that women have elevated FSH after fertility meds? My RE says it’s not the meds that I’m just older but it doesn’t make sense to me that my numbers would change so much right after we cycles. Thanks again, Julia for the amazing work you’re doing.

  6. Katherine says:

    There are times when my mind turns over things too much , then diagnosis of “unexplained infertility” can feel like a heavy burden to carry and I will have my “oh why can’t they find what’s wrong” moments.
    But I am discovering with the Ovum tools that only a certain part of the responsibility is with my doctor, my acupuncturist or my chinese herbalist. They can help me understand certain elements. But I should not hand over the whole responsibility to them otherwise I would loose out on learning so much about myself and becoming stronger and my biggest lesson which is learning to let go the desperate hold on the steering wheel and to regain an implicit trust in Life.

    So many people use the term infertility or unexplained infertility in such a careless manner without any understanding of the whole mystery behind getting pregnant. Thank you for presenting the big picture and reminding us that there is so much more than lab reports and tests.

  7. Wit says:

    Hi Julia, Getting diagnosed with unexplained infertility can be very frustrating and heart breaking. When you are looking for a concrete diagnosis and the doctors have nothing to give you.
    I am glad that your Ovum practice is giving an alternative solution to what is being offered out there.
    Thank you for all your work !

  8. robin says:

    Wonderful insights, Julia. I liked that you said unexplained infertility means it hasn’t yet manifested in the body. What a great opportunity. It also can save our lives because we start to look carefully at our bodies and all the interactions.

    Blessings to all.

  9. Anna says:

    Hi Julia, no such thing as unexplained infertility for me, just crude fertility science with its narrow menu of choices, and inability to test, diagnose and explain things beyond the mere basics. With population growth not being a problem really, it was not necessary for this discipline to become particularly sophisticated. The solutions to infertility are so basic and un-tailored, it is frightening. I don’t even mention the more ‘esoteric’ aspects you are writing about, notably the ‘holy human loaf’, the miracle of creation etc etc. Those are largely ignored of course. Although some aging docs realise they are not omnipotent for example by admitting that in medicine 2+2 doesn’t simply equal 4. I guess that’s a timid way of saying ‘for Gods sake this is so much bigger than we thought’!!! Best, Anna (from Belgium)

  10. tracy says:

    Julia, your pearls of wisdom always come just when I need to hear them. Creation of life truly is a mystery. When we let go of the wheel we can begin to allow ourselves to be guided into that mystery. After finding your work last year, I feel like I am finaly loosening my grip on the steering wheel. It’s becoming a little easier one image at a time. Thank you for all that you do!!

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