You know we really did conceive our inconceivable baby on red sheets. True they were red flannel sheets. Not really sure why I didn’t go for satin. But it worked!
As every year, the emails with subject lines, “Coping with Mother’s Day,” Infertility and Mother’s Day: Tips for Dealing with Mother’s Day Blues.” are pouring in from all directions.
So as each year, this is my short and sweet Mother’s Day card for all of you awesome flowingly fertile red satin mamas chosen for this magnificent assignment, called Infertility. I know, it doesn’t always feel like such a magnificent assignment, but if you care to stop and drop all the way down into the floor of your fertile soul, you’ll hear a queit little voice letting you know that that exactly what it is!
Whether your children have already materialized in physical form or they’re still cruising in the over world, the umbilical cord of longing is already attached to your heart and that qualifies you for the Mommy Clan.
Whatever you do, I hope you ditch the coping and surviving game. You know I don’t mean you turn your back on Sadness or Envy or Fear. When my older daughter Ellena was a little girl, she used to reach out to me when she was tired and cry: “Carry you me, mommy! ”
So if any tearstained little Orphans raise their arms toward you asking to be picked up, you know what to do.
As for tips, Mother’s Day is a great day to practice being a mommy. How would you take care of your adored daughter if she was travelling the scenic road to motherhood? I bet the Ultimate Mama in your very own fertile heart knows just what to give you to sweeten the day! And of course you have a toolbox full of I.B.O.W. tools to reach for if you get stuck. Here is a lovely remedy to open the heart and access the tenderness of the Ultimate Mom. I adapted it from page 175 of The Fertile Female.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!
Intention: To separate the essential from the illusory.
Close your eyes, observe your breath for a few seconds, then breathe out three times with a long, slow exhalation.
It’s your birthday. You have been a mom for nine years. As you go to brush your teeth, there, pasted to the mirror is a picture of your daughter, and a note: “Happy Mother’s Day Mommy, I love you!”
Let the breath move through you.
With the next inhalation, breathe in the image of your child and the note and the sweetness of being a mom.
Breathe out once.
Know, sense, and feel that you absolutely, without the slightest doubt, have all the provisions for the journey that can bring this image into your waking reality. Know, sense, and feel that what you’re yearning for will come through your deepening relationship with yourself, your loved ones, the world around you and the relationship with the child. The relationship that has begun when you first realized that you wished to be a Mom.
Breathe out and open your eyes. Would love to hear about some of the supremely self-indulgent, unreasonably extravagant gifts you’re giving yourself this Sunday!
A resplendent Mother’s Day to all!